So had HRH Elizabeth II's funeral playing in the shop basically all day while fitting up a crankshaft and some other stuff.
OMFG... listening to the commentators and 'play by play... ' was utterly killing me! I know it's supposed to be a somber occasion and that there is a whole lot of tradition and whatnot. It's what royalty does. But it just was a riot at a certain level listening to the details...
Some excerpts, but from memory. So I may be a bit off:
"Now we see the procession approaching Westminster Abbey. The new King and his Consort Queen are riding in the Rolls-Royce that was a gift to the Queen on her Coronation. Note the Saint George Slaying the dragon Mascot which is traditionally on the car when it is occupied by the Royal Head of state. Only on rare occasions is this tradition changed, such as during the funeral of Princess Margerat when the coat of arms on the roof of the car was replaced by a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken, a tradition dating back to 1973 and recognizing that the Princess was known to consume a dozen drumsticks at a time.
"RIding in the car is King Charles III, and his Royal Consort Camilla. We understand that in private he refers to his loving wife as "my little Seabiscuit." Oh wait... the car is stopping. Camilla is descending from the car. What is happening here? This is most unusual. Ah, there, I can see it. They are giving her some oats. Note that the nosebag that she is now wearing was made by Asprey, which has had a Royal Warrant since 1457 when they made the Royal cudgels and supplied gimp suits used on princes imprisoned in the tower.
"Now we are pulling in front of the Abbey... you will remember that earlier in the day this was the site of the ritual circumcision of a stoat, a royal tradition that only applies with the death of a queen and dates back to Boudicca, during Roman times. Though we do note that the ceremony, until this year, has never been filmed or photographed as it was not performed during the funeral of Queen Victoria as there was a severe stoat shortage due to the Boer War.
"Charles is descending from the limousine now. By tradition he is wearing the Royal Codpiece, first worn by Charles 1 during his usurpation of the throne from his cousin Delbert the Unknown. The Codpiece was actually lengthened during the reign of Queen Victoria as it was known that her husband Albert was exceptionally well-endowed for a king, resulting in Victoria's Royal Motto "Albert carus multum cibum stipant." Charles, we understand may have it shortened after his coronation, though William is likely to object citing his genetic links to his great great uncle.
"Oh dear, it seems Camilla has tripped on the curb broken her leg. Yes, the vets are coming in now and we think she may have to be shot. We will have to follow up on that.
"Now we move to the edge of the Thames where, by tradition, the Queen's body will be catapulted across the river in a ceremony dating back to the reign of Oliver Cromwell. The trebuchet that they will use for this ceremony was actually present at the battle of Agincourt and was known to have slain at least 35 French Knights. The tradition, as many know, was rather tastelessly lampooned by the Flying Circus which launched cows and large wooden rabbit, dishonoring a tradition that has roots in the English Civil War... And there she goes! Yes, the trebuchet has worked perfectly and she has spiked the landing. Well, we knew she would! Well done to Her Majesty...
"Meanwhile, the Funerial Soccer Riot is progressing well at Wembley Stadium. This act dates back to 1066 when, at Hastings, a soccer riot broke out between the British and Norman teams restulting in Gaston the Bald taking over much of England and some excellent Salmon water in Scotland. It seems that Manchester United fans do have the upper hand and are now burning Harrods.
"The queen now has been laid to rest, by tradition with her feet elevated exactly two firkins above her head and the sarcophagus is being sealed with a mixture of Hylomar Land Rover Head Gasket adhesive and pub cheese. She will remain in this position until the next queen ascends to the throne when she will be flipped over, by tradition, using the Royal spatula, kept in waiting at Windsor Castle for just suck an occasion.
"Well, that concludes our BBC-6 broadcast for today... We return you to Corgie Grooming from High Wyckomb... This has been Myron Blivetsphincter and I just want it known that I didn't get my free bank holiday today, and would rather be home pinning butterflies to my wall."
Damn I love listening to the British. I may have to see if I can get to be a commentor at the Coronation. Because I just know it's going to be epic! Maybe I can do a podcast... History buff and all!
Cheers,
Sirhr
OMFG... listening to the commentators and 'play by play... ' was utterly killing me! I know it's supposed to be a somber occasion and that there is a whole lot of tradition and whatnot. It's what royalty does. But it just was a riot at a certain level listening to the details...
Some excerpts, but from memory. So I may be a bit off:
"Now we see the procession approaching Westminster Abbey. The new King and his Consort Queen are riding in the Rolls-Royce that was a gift to the Queen on her Coronation. Note the Saint George Slaying the dragon Mascot which is traditionally on the car when it is occupied by the Royal Head of state. Only on rare occasions is this tradition changed, such as during the funeral of Princess Margerat when the coat of arms on the roof of the car was replaced by a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken, a tradition dating back to 1973 and recognizing that the Princess was known to consume a dozen drumsticks at a time.
"RIding in the car is King Charles III, and his Royal Consort Camilla. We understand that in private he refers to his loving wife as "my little Seabiscuit." Oh wait... the car is stopping. Camilla is descending from the car. What is happening here? This is most unusual. Ah, there, I can see it. They are giving her some oats. Note that the nosebag that she is now wearing was made by Asprey, which has had a Royal Warrant since 1457 when they made the Royal cudgels and supplied gimp suits used on princes imprisoned in the tower.
"Now we are pulling in front of the Abbey... you will remember that earlier in the day this was the site of the ritual circumcision of a stoat, a royal tradition that only applies with the death of a queen and dates back to Boudicca, during Roman times. Though we do note that the ceremony, until this year, has never been filmed or photographed as it was not performed during the funeral of Queen Victoria as there was a severe stoat shortage due to the Boer War.
"Charles is descending from the limousine now. By tradition he is wearing the Royal Codpiece, first worn by Charles 1 during his usurpation of the throne from his cousin Delbert the Unknown. The Codpiece was actually lengthened during the reign of Queen Victoria as it was known that her husband Albert was exceptionally well-endowed for a king, resulting in Victoria's Royal Motto "Albert carus multum cibum stipant." Charles, we understand may have it shortened after his coronation, though William is likely to object citing his genetic links to his great great uncle.
"Oh dear, it seems Camilla has tripped on the curb broken her leg. Yes, the vets are coming in now and we think she may have to be shot. We will have to follow up on that.
"Now we move to the edge of the Thames where, by tradition, the Queen's body will be catapulted across the river in a ceremony dating back to the reign of Oliver Cromwell. The trebuchet that they will use for this ceremony was actually present at the battle of Agincourt and was known to have slain at least 35 French Knights. The tradition, as many know, was rather tastelessly lampooned by the Flying Circus which launched cows and large wooden rabbit, dishonoring a tradition that has roots in the English Civil War... And there she goes! Yes, the trebuchet has worked perfectly and she has spiked the landing. Well, we knew she would! Well done to Her Majesty...
"Meanwhile, the Funerial Soccer Riot is progressing well at Wembley Stadium. This act dates back to 1066 when, at Hastings, a soccer riot broke out between the British and Norman teams restulting in Gaston the Bald taking over much of England and some excellent Salmon water in Scotland. It seems that Manchester United fans do have the upper hand and are now burning Harrods.
"The queen now has been laid to rest, by tradition with her feet elevated exactly two firkins above her head and the sarcophagus is being sealed with a mixture of Hylomar Land Rover Head Gasket adhesive and pub cheese. She will remain in this position until the next queen ascends to the throne when she will be flipped over, by tradition, using the Royal spatula, kept in waiting at Windsor Castle for just suck an occasion.
"Well, that concludes our BBC-6 broadcast for today... We return you to Corgie Grooming from High Wyckomb... This has been Myron Blivetsphincter and I just want it known that I didn't get my free bank holiday today, and would rather be home pinning butterflies to my wall."
Damn I love listening to the British. I may have to see if I can get to be a commentor at the Coronation. Because I just know it's going to be epic! Maybe I can do a podcast... History buff and all!
Cheers,
Sirhr
you got a potato!
