Trying to order a fucking Pizza...

sirhrmechanic

sirhrmechanic

Command Sgt. Major
Full Member
Minuteman
Feb 23, 2010
38,094
149,732
The Snobbiest Town in The Snobbiest State in the N
#1
So here in central Kansas... if you were going to give America an Enema... this is probably where you'd put the hose. I keep expecting John Lithgow to knock on my hotel room door and tell me he is trying to ensure I am not dancing.

Some will get that.

There's bible thumpers falling out of the streetlights...

Trying to order a pizza to my hotel room. Should be easy, right? First call to Pizza Hut about 1/8 mile away. "We don't deliver. It's the other store." Call other store. Get a massive chain menu... followed by a fucking Beaner who can't speak any fucking English. All she does is try and sell me pizza specials. Won't shut up. Hang up on the fucking bitch.

Call Domino's. After a phone tree... get another fucking beaner. Tell her it's for deliver to the ***** Inn by the Interstate. "I need an address." "I'm in a fucking hotel by the Interstate. What is this... a call center?" "Jess... ees call center." "Fucking Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick... I have to look this up."

So now I am trying to find the address of some fucking hotel in Bug-tussle Kansas. Find it. Give her address.

Here's what I want.... "Do you want a special? Because I have specials?' Fucking no. I just want a medium meat lovers. "Do you want a dessert, because we have pizza crust smothered in sugar syrup shit." No, I want a pizza. "It will be delivered between this and that time..." DON'T Fucking care. it gets here when it gets here.

Ho-kay... you have to use keypad to enter credit card. "I want to pay the driver." "No... you can't do that... have to enter the credit card." %$$#@@ing hell. Enters credit card with keypad.

"You sure you don't want dessert which is pizza crust smothered in Pillsbury Doubhboy sugar syrup?" No. I just want a pizza. A fucking medium meat lovers pizza.

Deport them all. No wonder these pizza places are going out of business at an epic rate. They deserve to.

Call centers to order pizza? Staffed by fucking 'wets? I don't want to listen to Spanish to order a fucking pizza. If it was Italian... OK... I'll play along. But this isn't a Tamale cart.

Damn, deport them all. And lock up the Pizza Hut and Domino's executives for employing illegals at an epic rate.

Better not be a fucking beaner dropping off my pizza.

Sirhr
 
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#3
918v said:
I have found the best pizza comes from mom and pop restaurants. Chain pizza is crap.
Click to expand...
It's Kansas... the local pizza places are all close on Sunday. And probably making sure that there is no dancing going on in town.

WTF... Waiting for a cross-burning outside my hotel room.

Sirhr
 
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#5
Well I saw that some drive thru fast food places are offering the option to pay for your order with payment plans, so shit is pretty retarded.
IMG_5731.png
 
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#19
theLBC said:
i think you're better off just ordering it online.

tumblr_pr1o1lQN001qbb8x5o2_540.gif
Click to expand...

From what I understand, ordering a meat lovers pizza online will get me a pair of 12-year-old Swedish twin blonde gymnast girls wearing Lederhosen. Or maybe that's just in DC...

Sirhr
 
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#21
There's only two ways I order food: Online or in person. I greatly prefer in person because I carry out anyhow, and haven't used delivery in years because its reliability is one step short of zero. Not that delivery is available to me at home anyhow, but this includes when traveling for work. I don't call in unless I'm picking up because virtually no drivers take cash any longer (they got tired of getting mugged), and I'll be damned if I'm giving my card out over the phone to anyone but a well known FFL dealer.

And I agree with the above, I never use a franchise chain pizza joint. That shit is fucking disgusting. Any time I ate Pizza Hut, I didn't shit right for three days afterwards. I learned my lesson.

But don't worry Sirhr, you'll be back to Hippietown soon enough for interpretive dancing on Sundays. Tell Bernie the prairie dwellers said "Fuck off".
 
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#23
Lange Carabine said:
Ferking Pizza Hut 1/8 mile away and you wanna bitch, moan, whine and complain because they don't deliver ...
Jeez. Walk your fat lazy ass over there and get it yourself...... you could use the exercise anyway.🙄🤣
Click to expand...
This is America. I want it handed to me.

Besides... if I walked 1/8 mile in this town, I'd have some kind of Church Group assaultinig me and asking me if I could quote from Leviticus... or get burned at the stake.

Sirhr
 
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#28
sirhrmechanic said:
From what I understand, ordering a meat lovers pizza online will get me a pair of 12-year-old Swedish twin blonde gymnast girls wearing Lederhosen. Or maybe that's just in DC...

Sirhr
Click to expand...
They lied. SWEDISH girls DON'T wear Lederhosen, they wear Lederrock. (Well, actually they don't, but that's not the point).

If they ARE wearing Lederhosen, I guarantee there's a couple of Ball Sacks where you don't want them to be........... :eek: :ROFLMAO:



BTW, style points awarded for the great Rant
 
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#29
Redmanss said:
There's only two ways I order food: Online or in person. I greatly prefer in person because I carry out anyhow, and haven't used delivery in years because its reliability is one step short of zero. Not that delivery is available to me at home anyhow, but this includes when traveling for work. I don't call in unless I'm picking up because virtually no drivers take cash any longer (they got tired of getting mugged), and I'll be damned if I'm giving my card out over the phone to anyone but a well known FFL dealer.

And I agree with the above, I never use a franchise chain pizza joint. That shit is fucking disgusting. Any time I ate Pizza Hut, I didn't shit right for three days afterwards. I learned my lesson.

But don't worry Sirhr, you'll be back to Hippietown soon enough for interpretive dancing on Sundays. Tell Bernie the prairie dwellers said "Fuck off".
Click to expand...

"You are the Gray Rider. You may go in peace."

Truer words have never been spoken!

Sirhr
 
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#30
sirhrmechanic said:
This is America. I want it handed to me.

Besides... if I walked 1/8 mile in this town, I'd have some kind of Church Group assaultinig me and asking me if I could quote from Leviticus... or get burned at the stake.

Sirhr
Click to expand...
Assaulting? WTH does assaultinig mean?
Sounds like you been washing your pineapple, anchovy and peanut butter M&M pizza down with bit too much of that cheap box wine you picked up on the way back from pizza hut.
Or maybe the pineapple was fermented????
 
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#31
Lange Carabine said:
Assaultinig? WTH does assaultinig mean?
Sounds like you been washing your pineapple, anchovy and peanut butter M&M pizza down with bit too much of that cheap box wine you picked up on the way back from pizza hut.
Or maybe the pineapple was fermented????
Click to expand...
Yeah... my bad.

Assaulting. Oops.

Damn Krauts... always expecting perfection in spelling or Goose-Stepping...

Well, Horst Wessel was a spelling champ before they shot him.

Sirhr
 
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#32
Description sounds like your in either Liberal or Junction City Kansas.

Here’s how you fix your problem, drive east to Leavenworth & go to the Metropolitan Steakhouse and order 1 cocktail, doesn’t matter what kind. Drink it and you’ll feel much better.
 
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#33
prolly told this story before, but i had to travel to hong kong and the new territories for work.
at the end of the trip, i offered to buy dinner for the staff supervisors at any restaurant they chose.
i was hoping for the best chinese food ever. mainland fucking china!

they chose pizza hut.
www.pizzahut.com.hk

Pizza Hut HK

Pizza Hut HK
www.pizzahut.com.hk www.pizzahut.com.hk
 
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#34
sirhrmechanic said:
So here in central Kansas... if you were going to give America an Enema... this is probably where you'd put the hose. I keep expecting John Lithgow to knock on my hotel room door and tell me he is trying to ensure I am not dancing.

Some will get that.

There's bible thumpers falling out of the streetlights...

Trying to order a pizza to my hotel room. Should be easy, right? First call to Pizza Hut about 1/8 mile away. "We don't deliver. It's the other store." Call other store. Get a massive chain menu... followed by a fucking Beaner who can't speak any fucking English. All she does is try and sell me pizza specials. Won't shut up. Hang up on the fucking bitch.

Call Domino's. After a phone tree... get another fucking beaner. Tell her it's for deliver to the ***** Inn by the Interstate. "I need an address." "I'm in a fucking hotel by the Interstate. What is this... a call center?" "Jess... ees call center." "Fucking Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick... I have to look this up."

So now I am trying to find the address of some fucking hotel in Bug-tussle Kansas. Find it. Give her address.

Here's what I want.... "Do you want a special? Because I have specials?' Fucking no. I just want a medium meat lovers. "Do you want a dessert, because we have pizza crust smothered in sugar syrup shit." No, I want a pizza. "It will be delivered between this and that time..." DON'T Fucking care. it gets here when it gets here.

Ho-kay... you have to use keypad to enter credit card. "I want to pay the driver." "No... you can't do that... have to enter the credit card." %$$#@@ing hell. Enters credit card with keypad.

"You sure you don't want dessert which is pizza crust smothered in Pillsbury Doubhboy sugar syrup?" No. I just want a pizza. A fucking medium meat lovers pizza.

Deport them all. No wonder these pizza places are going out of business at an epic rate. They deserve to.

Call centers to order pizza? Staffed by fucking 'wets? I don't want to listen to Spanish to order a fucking pizza. If it was Italian... OK... I'll play along. But this isn't a Tamale cart.

Damn, deport them all. And lock up the Pizza Hut and Domino's executives for employing illegals at an epic rate.

Better not be a fucking beaner dropping off my pizza.

Sirhr
Click to expand...
Gonna survive the apocalypse but can’t survive ordering pizza in person because it’s 220yds away and you don’t know how to survive online orders.

This thread makes pooping great again. 🫡
 
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#35
D̷e̷v̷i̷l̷D̷o̷c̷A̷Z̷ said:
Gonna survive the apocalypse but can’t survive ordering pizza in person because it’s 220yds away and you don’t know how to survive online orders.

This thread makes pooping great again. 🫡
Click to expand...

Hey, I watched three entire states who think they will survive the apocalypse drive into bridge abutments and shut down their entire communities... over 1" of snow. While I drove through in a fucking Honda Accord with studded snow tires.

Don't get me started on surviving the apocalypse when comparing to the convenience of ordering a pizza vs. the actual 'I can go somewhere in an inch of snow' -- not. World of slack-jawed, cousin-fucking, inbred redneck Cletus Okie hillbillies.

Want vs. Need. I wanted a pizza delivered. I don't need it. But if I want it and the fucking retards can't deliver it... then I get to bitch. If I need it and am not prepared... then it's on me. I'd have done fine on beer, Buc-ees fudge and pork Rinds from the local Marathon station.that I already have.

But.. 'wanted' a pizza. And the beaners could not deliver without pissing me off.

There is a difference.

Sirhr
 
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#37
232593 said:
Description sounds like your in either Liberal or Junction City Kansas.

Here’s how you fix your problem, drive east to Leavenworth & go to the Metropolitan Steakhouse and order 1 cocktail, doesn’t matter what kind. Drink it and you’ll feel much better.
Click to expand...
McPherson.

Wow. Just wow..

Sirhr
 
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#39
6pyEUo.gif


IN!!!​


ETA: I do feel your pain though. IIRC I went to a shitty Red Robin about 10 years ago they wanted me to order using a tablet and an app at the table. They refused to take my order in person old school like. After I switched the tablets from a few tables and they couldn’t figure out why everyone’s orders were wrong lol, I finally got them to have a human come take our order. Obviously never went back.
 
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#49
theLBC said:
prolly told this story before, but i had to travel to hong kong and the new territories for work.
at the end of the trip, i offered to buy dinner for the staff supervisors at any restaurant they chose.
i was hoping for the best chinese food ever. mainland fucking china!

they chose pizza hut.
www.pizzahut.com.hk

Pizza Hut HK

Pizza Hut HK
www.pizzahut.com.hk www.pizzahut.com.hk
Click to expand...
L7 :ROFLMAO:
 
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