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One of my favorite lines from him isView attachment 8422950
Saw him live in 1989 in Raleigh, NC. Freaking hilarious... one of the best stand-up shows I ever saw. Died for 2 hours straight...
The Quotes of Steven Wright:
1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3 - Half the people you know are below average.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ..... But she left me before we met.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
19 - I intend to live forever ... So far, so good.
20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name
25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
And fuck yes, I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize!
Sirhr
Otheff to them the cliff, this looks a lot like the southern coast of Somalia. A beautiful place, with some problems.
Ever seen the wreckage of a car that had a head on at a closure rate of 100mph? Now consider 300+mph that projectile hitting the ground. I’m not convinced. Maybe big range ROs can enlighten us on this.Depends. Are their any colored bands around the circumference?
Ever seen the wreckage of a car that had a head on at a closure rate of 100mph? Now consider 300+mph that projectile hitting the ground. I’m not convinced. Maybe big range ROs can enlighten us on this.
Goddamn, I’m saving this for future use
Trespasser or utility worker?
View attachment 8425411
*edited to add*
A buddy told me “It’s a Checnya guy that was a “contractor” taking photos of a Colonel from SoCOM and his house, property and family.”
Love it!!!! Women, Tik Tok, Facebook, Instagram, all things destroying us from within.
I just read someone post in the MPT about eating stuff out of some chicks ass....Im sure this one can deliver some tear cake turds if interested.
Along with that same thought here's a bonus video:
What a coincidence, men and children are happier without her too.
Sounds like something from the lifetime channel