It's even better if you read it in Jimmy Stewart's voice.
-
Having trouble using the site?
Contact support
Maggie’s Funny & awesome pics, vids and memes thread (work safe, no nudity)
- Thread starter Lawless
- Start date
The Actual Pronunciation of GIF, from the Creator
The pronunciation of GIF is one of the oldest and most aggressive internet debates. Some of these will never be settled, but luckily with the GIF debate there&#
danielmiessler.com
When I was about 7 a new store Acme Auto was being built. I couldn't wait for it to open cause I knew you would be able to get all the Acme stuff the Coyote used. Needless to say I was sorely disappointed when it opened and I finally convicted my parents to take me. I think that's why I am still a little twisted!
Last edited:
Except.......you should have never been over there to begin with.
Good information on the development of the F-20 and why it wasn't adopted. Big mistake not to have put this fighter into production...
We don't make the prices, we make the prices higher.
Back in the day we negotiated lines of credit with individual stores and shopkeepers. Bigger places like the Woolworth managed it with store credit cards.
It's tricky business this credit animal. Arguably the economy would be more sluggish without it but in a lot of ways it's just another mask on a wealth redistribution game. Some people default on their debts while others pay exorbitant interest for years on end to cover losses on defaulted accounts.
It really reminds me of some other schemes that are sorta like inverted Ponzi's but I can't quite put my finger on them ... insurance? healthcare? medicare? social security? ... I sometimes wonder what all those things have in common. Taxes?
About 20 years ago, I overhead a customer going ballistic on a service writer. Walked out and asked what’s the problem.
“YOUR MECHANIC FIXED MY RADIATOR LEAK AND NOW MY A/C STOPPED WORKING.”
Sent the tech out to look at it. About 60 seconds later the customers rips out of the parking lot sideways. Tech walked back in and I asked what he found. “A/C button disengaged.”
He rode it last night some and did great. I am picking him up early from school today to ride some more 
Grandkids Rule!
Grandkids Rule!Our DIL will be induced later today. Our third grandson, five total.
Need a cold front to push down some fresh birds. Got a couple mallards, woodies and gadwall last weekend.
Birds are getting educated/stale and need some cold air to push some new one's down to ambush on the pond. Need some more mallard and widgeon to eat over the winter.
Killed 5 green heads on Sunday. Buddy’s pond and were really picky there. Could have both limited on ducks but we’re only shooting big drakes in the spread. No pass shooting, no hens, no water shooting. It’s very low effort to hunt this spot so it’s really fun to go waterfowling rather than duck hunting. lol.
Got to be more to this story.
Fire truck standing by and another person waving a flashlight before the rear of the cruiser which had all its light going.
Yep, stupid.
A police officer in North Carolina found out the hard way that there are some places you just can’t park a police cruiser. The Greensboro officer was responding to a collision involving two vehicles in Jamestown, NC, at the end of November, reports local news outlet ABC 11. Upon arrival the officer parked their state-issued Explorer Police Interceptor over the train tracks. Mere minutes later an Amtrak train came through and destroyed the police SUV.
While attending to the incident, the officer must have forgotten where they’d parked as the crossing lights started flashing and the barriers began closing, which trapped the car across the tracks. An Amtrak passenger service then came through town,
We have been very wet here and the hunting has been fantastic. Best in years. I am seeing massive numbers of Pintails like I've never seen before. 80% of our birds right now are Pintails. I though they were supposed to be rare, which is why you only get one!
We are just not shooting them at all, letting them decoy, and then shooting other ducks over their heads. We're not shooting the one you can keep, because sometimes they flush into the ducks you are shooting at, and you only get the one mistake. It's crazy. Never seen anything like it, but I definitely think they need to up the pinner limit to two next years, because the numbers are huge. The mallards aren't even here yet. I want all these pintails pushed out and for the mallards to get here.
He is doing well
Get him to start and stop and put his foot down and get those training wheels off sooner rather than later.
Training wheels on a dirt bike looks adorable!
We installed a phone w/ voice control module, way back when those were dealer installed options, in one of our super-douche customers car. He came back a few days later screaming in the service drive about how his car is fucked up and we’re all idiots and he wants it all taken out and refunded blah blah blah. Service manager(who is the best tech I’ve ever seen) gets in the car and looks around for a minute. He then calls McDouche customer over and says “You’re phone wasn’t clicked into the cradle all the way”. Clicks the phone into the cradle and says “Get the fuck out of my service drive”.
I'll believe it when I see it. My congresscritter told me 2 years ago it was a done deal.
IDGAF which, but pick one and leave it the fuck alone!!
Get rid of Mike Johnson and make Jesse Lee Peterson the new speaker! 
After every flight, pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce the problem on the ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid
S: #2 Propeller seepage normal – #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to a more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what they’re for
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics
And the best one for last.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
I wish I could have been a sarcastic asshole in some of my repair write-upsAfter every flight, pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce the problem on the ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid
S: #2 Propeller seepage normal – #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to a more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what they’re for
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics
And the best one for last.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
I have been a sarcastic asshole with some of my code comments. Left an ASCII skull and crossbones in one piece of code and said something like edit at your own peril.
As an exercise at university once we had to write a small "operating system" that accepted a number of commands and printed error messages when it was entered incorrectly.
Instructor tested them all live in class taking a few minutes each but when he got to mine he spent nearly a half hour testing it and I thought "shit, I'm failing". Unintentionally I had left all my dev responses in which were things like "not enough parameters dumbass" and "try another port dipshit". He thought it was hilarious and kept playing with it to see all of them.
Last edited:
Some genius just hacked the sheriff’s jail page on Google! I love the Internet!!
Get him hooked on motorcycles..... He will never have enough money for drugs....or other vices
Similar threads
