Re: Angry Fiancee' - Thoughts and Comments???
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: CS1983</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Well... two things:
1) Dude... Goodwill, Salvation Army, Ma and Pa Thrift 'r' Us, whatever is local-- knives, tupperware, etc all for pennies on the market dollar in a retail setting. It's not rocket science and it's then yours and for your purposes.
2) Really sit back and examine her behavior as well as yours. Is this truly a woman you wish to be married to? Is this stress foreseeable as a future thing, and are the causes of it a result of misbehavior on your part? Her solution sounded more like a mother dealing with a child than a future wife trying to work out an equitable, sensible solution to the issue. Why didn't she suggest #1? Why are you using kitchen knives for gun work? Why is she in the man cave? Where is the mutual respect?
Stop using Kitchen implements for non-kitchen related stuff. Break your piggy bank, go downtown, and hit a thrift store for tupperware and knives. Show said tupperware and knives to Fiancee. Buy Fiancee a new knife of the same model and brand you ruined. If she begins stabbing you with it, reconsider the marriage. In fact, do that anyway. You both sound immature and it sounds like a mommy/son dynamic takes place. The issue isn't you shooting or messing with guns, it's you not respecting her wishes to not have food-prep tools become "trim this thing on the gun part" tools. Married life is not bachelor life, and any attempt to make it so is asking for trouble.
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Sage advice from a person that just this weekend watched me toss high quality cutlery into a box headed to the DAV
I'll ignore her methods on this incident for a bit while we examine the content of her feedback, independent of the emotions. Do I think she has a point about space and respect? Yea, this theme has cropped up before in both my great and not so great relationships, and it GOES BOTH WAYS, not just a woman fighting for respect of her and her space.
There is a joke going around the Internet that shows when it comes to the house, a man gets 1/3 of the bed, a slot for a tooth brush, and maybe 1/4 of one of the closets in the house. The rest of the house is hers. That pretty well sums it up, sans the man space, which a woman may try to take over as well.
Case in point, when I lived in Houston I built a 24x32 garage that was 24x20 for cars and 12x24 as my finished shop for motorcycles, bicycles, and shooting. Epoxied floors, painted, lighted, drywalled, nice trim, nice doors, a very nice shop. One day I come home and the (former at this point) lovely and talented has moved into my shop 5 feral cats, including the totally wild momma cat, that were living under our front porch. She then proceeds to continue working obsessively her 12-14 hour days, leaving a mess of stinky wild cats in my shop....
This was a serious space violation, and yes I interpreted it as a lack of respect, a lack of respect that I felt permeated other elements of our relationship.
My advice to you Sir is that if you really want to be with this woman, you take a serious, open-minded, objective look at the underpinnings of her emotional outbreak. In the process of doing that, I suggest you ask her to try to remove some of the emotion from her delivery so that you can really take in the content of the points she is trying to make. In the process of doing this, mirror back to her what she is saying, not arguing or challenging - just let her get it all out, and have her believe that you listened to her and are taking her input respectfully and seriously.
Once armed with that input, you can chew on it for a while on your own and then make your own decision as to what you are gonna do - abide by her requests, slap her around a bit until she sees it your way, kick her ass to the curb, or slip out with your man cave contents while she's off working one of her jobs.
