Family Holiday Drama: Thanksgiving Edition

[sled_mack]

I get it.

My wife and I love to entertain. I don't know what some of our friends would do if we didn't host.

At our place, we focus on the food and cocktails. Formality is unnecessary, except at Christmas.

If you haven't smoked a turkey, you haven't had turkey at its best.

That’s a toss up- I think I lean towards fried turkey.

 

[gopherslayer]

I tell everyone I’m hunting, even if I get my buck. My wife parrots the same thing. I don’t care for her siblings or her extended family very much and she really doesn’t either. Wife and daughter and I will do Turkey and fixings by ourselves on Friday for supper after I’m done hunting. My MIL told my wife she hated her in front of our daughter so that kind of sealed the deal. We usually go to FL for Christmas and don’t deal with the family BS. Both of our families are miserable fucks for some reason.

 

[fanninland]

I just listen to this every Thanksgiving morning and then I’m GTG

 

[Im2bent]

OK ima going to be that guy....smoked turkey< fried turkey.

 

[LuckyDuck]

OK ima going to be that guy....smoked turkey< fried turkey.

I’m a fan of smoked turkey for sure, but I also never had a chance to indulge in fried turkey. I always figured if people are willing to burn their house down every year that it must be pretty damned good though.

-LD

 

[LuckyDuck]

I tell everyone I’m hunting, even if I get my buck. My wife parrots the same thing. I don’t care for her siblings or her extended family very much and she really doesn’t either. Wife and daughter and I will do Turkey and fixings by ourselves on Friday for supper after I’m done hunting. My MIL told my wife she hated her in front of our daughter so that kind of sealed the deal. We usually go to FL for Christmas and don’t deal with the family BS. Both of our families are miserable fucks for some reason.

Classic families & holidays story there. I get it.

 

[Im2bent]

I’m a fan of smoked turkey for sure, but I also never had a chance to indulge in fried turkey. I always figured if people are willing to burn their house down every year that it must be pretty damned good though.

-LD

Only retards burn the house down.

 

[Nik H]

That’s a toss up- I think I lean towards fried turkey.

I like fried turkey but like smoked better. As long as it is cooked properly so it is not dried out which is easier to do than when you are frying it.

 

[Longshot231]

I'm surprised that @Lawless or @SONIC SAAMI hasn't posted anything on adding pineapple to turkey yet.

 

[Im2bent]

I'm surprised that @Lawless or @SONIC SAAMI hasn't posted anything on adding pineapple to turkey yet.

SACRILEGE!!!!!! Desecration of the almighty Thanksgiving turkey should be grounds for banination. Keep that crap in Hawaii.

 

[Nik H]

Pineapple belongs in one place...a Pina Colada.

 

[Lawless]

I'm surprised that @Lawless or @SONIC SAAMI hasn't posted anything on adding pineapple to turkey yet.

I would eat the heck outta that

 

[Longshot231]

SACRILEGE!!!!!! Desecration of the almighty Thanksgiving turkey should be grounds for banination. Keep that crap in Hawaii.

Well what about jalapeños and turkey?

 

[Zoomie]

Couldn’t get home one year. Guy says, have Thanksgiving with us, it’ll be fun. I go reluctantly and keep thinking leftover Chick fil A would have been better. Lo and behold, mid meal his grandpa stands up at the table, drops his trousers and boxers in front of about ten people and exposes Mr Winky. He just stands there, his pickle swinging in the wind. I was ready to perform CPR on one woman, and clear another persons airway when they choked on a yam. After the shock wore off they helped the old guy get dressed. I don’t think anyone spoke the rest of the meal. I’ve declined every invitation since.

 

[Longshot231]

Couldn’t get home one year. Guy says, have Thanksgiving with us, it’ll be fun. I go reluctantly and keep thinking leftover Chick fil A would have been better. Lo and behold, mid meal his grandpa stands up at the table, drops his trousers and boxers in front of about ten people and exposes Mr Winky. He just stands there, his pickle swinging in the wind. I was ready to perform CPR on one woman, and clear another persons airway when they choked on a yam. After the shock wore off they helped the old guy get dressed. I don’t think anyone spoke the rest of the meal. I’ve declined every invitation since.

At least you can't say it was a boring thanksgiving.

 

[gopherslayer]

Couldn’t get home one year. Guy says, have Thanksgiving with us, it’ll be fun. I go reluctantly and keep thinking leftover Chick fil A would have been better. Lo and behold, mid meal his grandpa stands up at the table, drops his trousers and boxers in front of about ten people and exposes Mr Winky. He just stands there, his pickle swinging in the wind. I was ready to perform CPR on one woman, and clear another persons airway when they choked on a yam. After the shock wore off they helped the old guy get dressed. I don’t think anyone spoke the rest of the meal. I’ve declined every invitation since.

Now that’s a party

 

[Zoomie]

At least you can't say it was a boring thanksgiving.

I suddenly made peace with the fact that maybe “boring” isn’t that bad.

 

[Ronws]

Couldn’t get home one year. Guy says, have Thanksgiving with us, it’ll be fun. I go reluctantly and keep thinking leftover Chick fil A would have been better. Lo and behold, mid meal his grandpa stands up at the table, drops his trousers and boxers in front of about ten people and exposes Mr Winky. He just stands there, his pickle swinging in the wind. I was ready to perform CPR on one woman, and clear another persons airway when they choked on a yam. After the shock wore off they helped the old guy get dressed. I don’t think anyone spoke the rest of the meal. I’ve declined every invitation since.

Sounds like a Steve Martin movie.

 

[BAMAboy18]

My ex is bi- polar AF, we used to go to her sister's in Cleveland TN, ahh the memories of watching the joy leaving everyone's face when we arrived...
I was hoping my gf would be out of prison, she's not scheduled until next April, but I finally got through to the right person to get her a medical furlough for another neck surgery (blew out another disc below her fusions, compressing her spinal cord) Maybe before Christmas!

 

[BCP]

Holidays lol

Now that my grandparents and great uncles are all dead it's boomers in charge all they talk about is money and they secretly hate each other so the dinners only last 30-45mins and everybody leaves.

 

[Zoomie]

Sounds like a Steve Martin movie.

I wanted to say, “oh look, it’s The Thanksgiving Penis”, but at that point in my life I was trying to keep the list of people who hate me short.