Sat Night Funnies - I got reported

[Lowlight]

So I am sitting here watching my favorite show, Ancient Aliens learning shit. I mean good shit, like a mimic octopus has 3 hearts and nine brains. They have twice the DNA and are not from around here.

scanning the site during commercial, what do I see, a report.

I open the report up and,

BOOm!

its on me for saying linear equivalents are infected and will be zombies or some shit, read it above

old Bill Larson must have been infected with the Kung Flu and lost his dang mind.

I said way worse shit than that yesterday, heck in that thread alone I said the dudes wife can’t drive cause she thinks 6” is 9”.
I was way ruder than the zombie reference.

if you’re gonna go hard, go big, or get crushed,

 

[Dthomas3523]

Heads up. I’m fairly certain a few are coming your way about me. ???

 

[armorpl8chikn]

Heads up. I’m fairly certain a few are coming your way about me. ???

If they report you they are bitches, the lot of them.
People cant scrap and shake hands anymore.

 

[Maggot]

I didnt do nuffin.

 

[Ric O'shay]

I am with Bill. The customer is always right, even if he is a whining pussy.

 

[j-huskey]

It's got to be the fucking beer virus and cabin fever setting in, to produce some unusual reports, or other things...

 

[P-Squared]

Frank,

I don't know how you do it without blowing a head gasket. Nothing short of amazing.

 

[Clearlight]

 

[1moaoff]

Heads up. I’m fairly certain a few are coming your way about me. ???

If no one sends any I can make some up for you

 

[Kamerad]

Make Hazing Great Again

 

[Zorrosdens]

I didnt do nuffin.

PFFFFFFFFFF!!?

 

[DarnYankeeUSMC]

Finally.
This should be a sticky thread. Post these reports so we can all enjoy them.

"Self called expert" That's fucking funny.

 

[Dthomas3523]

Just drove to store and when my BT connected, all I hear is frank’s “you know what, fuck you too” scout rant from a recent podcast playing.

Pretty convenient.

 

[Badfinger]

 

[Huskydriver]

Heads up. I’m fairly certain a few are coming your way about me. ???

Your barrels had me report you for over cleaning!!!?

 

[Dirty D]

Heads up. I’m fairly certain a few are coming your way about me. ???

I thought those dick pics that you sent out were rather tastefully done, your ball gag OTOH...

 

[SSG69]

I say anybody that reports pretty much anything is a fucking child that ought to be ashamed of themselves for being a fucking rat bastard.

 

[TheGerman]

Reported

 

[Dirty D]

Make Hazing Great Again

We had a guy on my first cutter that liked to chain smoke while on patrol but didn’t like to shower or change uniforms. After less than 5 days my department got called out onto the fantail by the lead seaman, there were no petty officers, chiefs or officers to be seen. The offending party found himself tied to the deck spread eagle style and a few buckets of sea water were dumped on him (we were just south of Dutch Harbor and it was late November) and a not small quantity of Simple Green. We scrubbed Pigpen head to toe with deck brushes, the snipes heard the screams and opened the hatch to the fantail, saw what was going on and closed the hatch without saying a word. We finished the cleaning/feedback session and he never missed a daily shower or uniform change again. About three days after his scrubbing his skin was still quite red and the XO saw him and turned to me and asked “Jesus! What happened to him”, apparently I got a deer in the headlights look because I really liked our XO for standing up for us and didn’t want to lie to him. Before I could answer XO says “stop, I don’t want to know” walked away and never mentioned it again (he was a wise man).

Hazing can be a useful tool when administered by tools to tools.

 

[Dirty D]

So I am sitting here watching my favorite show, Ancient Aliens learning shit. I mean good shit, like a mimic octopus has 3 hearts and nine brains. They have twice the DNA and are not from around here.

scanning the site during commercial, what do I see, a report.

I open the report up and,
View attachment 7284290
BOOm!

its on me for saying linear equivalents are infected and will be zombies or some shit, read it above

old Bill Larson must have been infected with the Kung Flu and lost his dang mind.

I said way worse shit than that yesterday, heck in that thread alone I said the dudes wife can’t drive cause she thinks 6” is 9”.
I was way ruder than the zombie reference.

if you’re gonna go hard, go big, or get crushed,
View attachment 7284293

You are leading by example... We are a bunch of poorly behaved asshats ?

 

[Huskydriver]

don't tell the platoon it's your birthday when your the lowest ranking private...the e4 mafia hard at work... Felt really bad for the guy....

 

[armorpl8chikn]

the lead seaman

So....is that the first one to the egg?

 

[Dirty D]

So....is that the first one to my tonsils?

Yes

 

[Dirty D]

don't tell the platoon it's your birthday when your the lowest ranking private...the e4 mafia hard at work... Felt really bad for the guy....

View attachment 7284381

You felt so bad you stood back and took trophy pictures. ?

Can we get a stretcher for Bill?

 

[Huskydriver]

You felt so bad you stood back and took trophy pictures. ?

Can we get a stretcher for Bill?

LT's weren't exempt either....

 

[Kir]

[CENSORED] I self censor myself, so nobody can report me...

 

[2aBaC̶a̶]

Make Reporting Great Again!!

 

[armorpl8chikn]

I feel like Nuke right about now....

 

[JeffLebowski]

Thread reported.

 

[Lowlight]

 

[R0man]

Sometimes it's good if your wife thinks your 6" is a 9". Just saying.

 

[Lapuapalooza]

So I am sitting here watching my favorite show, Ancient Aliens learning shit. I mean good shit, like a mimic octopus has 3 hearts and nine brains. They have twice the DNA and are not from around here.

scanning the site during commercial, what do I see, a report.

I open the report up and,
View attachment 7284290
BOOm!

its on me for saying linear equivalents are infected and will be zombies or some shit, read it above

old Bill Larson must have been infected with the Kung Flu and lost his dang mind.

I said way worse shit than that yesterday, heck in that thread alone I said the dudes wife can’t drive cause she thinks 6” is 9”.
I was way ruder than the zombie reference.

if you’re gonna go hard, go big, or get crushed,
View attachment 7284293

I just want to know how you knew he had a wife...

Lucky guess???

 

[clcustom1911]

don't tell the platoon it's your birthday when your the lowest ranking private...the e4 mafia hard at work... Felt really bad for the guy....

View attachment 7284381

Those NAR talon litters do hold up well, dont they?

 

[Huskydriver]

Those NAR talon litters do hold up well, dont they?

Solid....

 

[Maser]

I see the Hide's pillory is in action again.

Personally I wanna hear more about the 3 heart octopus.

 

[Spblademaker]

@lowlight At least you know he was reading you posts and not swiping past them.

 

[bigwatchpilot]

Ancient Aliens...the best show on TV

 

[Maggot]

LT's weren't exempt either....

View attachment 7284389

Black face! Thats racist!

 

[Jefe's Dope]

You have the patience of a saint.

 

[Aries256]

You are leading by example... We are a bunch of poorly behaved asshats ?

Hey! And I wouldnt have it any other way ??

 

[Dirty D]

You have the patience of a howler monkey with Tourette’s and irritable bowel syndrome.

???

 

[Doc68]

Show me on the doll where your feelings got hurt

People need to STFU and stay off the internet so their feelings don't get hurt.......

 

[Threadcutter308]

You are leading by example... We are a bunch of poorly behaved asshats ?

carry on...........

 

[Threadcutter308]

View attachment 7284398

I feel like Nuke right about now....

Why, you just finish bangin' ole bugeyes ?............

 

[oneshot86]

It's got to be the fucking beer virus and cabin fever setting in, to produce some unusual reports, or other things...

idont know what the hell is going on, the damn beer virus is rampant here too,

i have a bad case of it right meow

 

[Slash0311]

If I were King for a day or Thanos, or Frank HMFIC... I'd set it up where if anyone reported my post, the system eould automatically ban them. Or send them a "MENSA membership"

Thanks once again for our HIDE LL...