Social experiment; my wife's stupid fucking shoes

[TheGerman]

My wife has this habit of taking her shoes off and putting them anyfuckingwhere in the house with no reasoning as to why. I find them in the middle of the kitchen floor, in the bathrooms, on random steps, in the dead middle of a 30 foot hallway, in the dead center of a random room; just a pair of fucking shoes sitting there in the middle of the hall or room with absolutely ZERO reason for them to be there. They're not by a closet, they're not stacked against the wall, they're not near any of the other randomly placed pairs of shoes in other spots around the house.

I've mentioned this numerous times and it still happens. There are so many of them that I don't even think she knows where she leaves half of them and 'finds' a random pair to wear to work when she's heading out of the door.

I just tripped over a pair in the kitchen. Fuck this.

My little experiment:

I've taken a simple 30 gallon garbage bag and have collected any shoes that are sitting out in an obvious spot that in no way can be somewhere people put their shoes. I am tossing this bag in the garage and will continue to put any randomly discarded shoes into the bag, and back in the garage without saying a word about it. I'm curious how long it will take for her to notice that A. shoes are missing and B. she doesn't find random fucking shoes all over the house. At either time A or B are noticed, I will still not know anything about the shoes. Very curious how long until she either tries to figure it out, thinks shes losing her mind or wait.....actually fucking doesn't put shoes all over the place like a fucking homeless person.

Taking bets now.

 

[Sixfivesavage]

3 days

 

[Hookturnr]

my money says less than 48 hours....they're like fucking elephants when it comes to remembering useless crap.

 

[KYpatriot]

Dude she probably knows where every single shoe is at all times and is probably reading this right now. Looks like a dry spell setting in out west....

 

[no1special]

sir; you are a brave yet foolish man. fools rush in where angels fear to tread. may god have mercy on your soul.

 

[Sixfivesavage]

For what it's worth, I go through a similar situation with her leaving lights on and the garage door open. Drives me nuts. You're not alone.

 

[seanhagerty]

You are doomed for failure.

Your efforts should directed to you learning to accept her behavior.

 

[Edsel]

You think you are in control of the situation.









You are wrong.

 

[rdinak]

forecast replacement shopping spree in near future

 

[DarnYankeeUSMC]

When she asks of the whereabouts of the shoes it will be time to place them under the covers on her side of the bed. Of course your side will be the couch.

 

[M21tactical]

I see this as an excuse for her to buy more shoes. Smart girl you have.

My wife has well over 125 pairs, it would be awhile before she misses any. Any ways my wife always puts them away neatly in the closet. Nice that way, but she has other faults to complain about. ;-)

 

[RanchhandTCR]

Keep a side arm on your hip, keep a back up, and a long gun within 15 feet of you... May the odds be forever in your favor...

 

[Maggot]

or wait.....actually fucking doesn't put shoes all over the place like a fucking homeless person.

Taking bets now.

a homeless person is usually lucky to have one pair.

 

[pmclaine]

Sounds fun until you notice your random guns are missing and she than holds you by the short hairs.

 

[snipe10]

post some pics when she confronts you!

 

[ShtrRdy]

Man, are you sure you wanna go there? Maybe you should reconsider. Just leave the shoes where they are and see what happens.

 

[Pinto]

First marriage, huh?

 

[bobke]

I might predict no shoes whatsoever, at some point. And then you might miss them, or your former child bride. Get the lesson, but as someone said above, your shooters could become fair game, as well. Proceed at your own risk.

 

[TheGerman]

First marriage, huh?

No this is #2. I did much better this time around.

There is a reason why marrying a Russian stripper going to nursing school sounds like a bad idea.

 

[BIPMaster]

Gotta control the behavior. Tell her straight up that every pair of shoes left out get thrown in a burn barrel. See how long it takes her to realize you are serious.

 

[Mister Ridge]

I give it 3 1/2 seconds until she finds out and kills you. It was nice knowing ya!

 

[Tristian19]

When she asks of the whereabouts of the shoes it will be time to place them under the covers on her side of the bed. Of course your side will be the couch.

Good one...

 

[steve123]

The peepee will suffer.

 

[Austan]

I'd go one further and put garage sale sticker prices on them before putting them in the bag. In for a penny, in for a pound.

 

[TGuthrie]

Your peenus is going to be upset.

 

[Tristian19]

I say it will take 24 hours for her to notice and less than 48 for her to start asking questions...

I had a girlfriend with whom I lived with almost twenty years back who did very same thing. She had shoes for weeks. I too hid her F.....g shoes, as well, and played stupid when she asked. Honestly do not recall how it played out except I will say I left her ass a lonnnnnnng time ago... She turned out to be beyond LOONEY

 

[diverdon]

You are retired, your wife works. Would it really hurt you to pick up some shoes up and put them away? Your Wife is probably trying to figure out how to save some poor bastards life while you are trying to decide which range to shoot at tomorrow. Stop being a whinny little bitch.

 

[dk17hmr]

Sounds like you need a puppy.....shoes get picked up faster when something is eating them when your not in the room.

 

[woojos]

You are retired, your wife works. Would it really hurt you to pick up some shoes up and put them away? Your Wife is probably trying to figure out how to save some poor bastards life while you are trying to decide which range to shoot at tomorrow. Stop being a whinny little bitch.

Harsh, but I too wondered who really was being the woman in this scenario.

 

[eli polite]

I would say I'm on her side here. I kick my shoes off where ever I want in my house some times on the stairs. sometimes on at the bottom of the stairs one at the top. My wife trips on them sometimes but says nothing. May be its because I'm the soul provider for the family. I think its really because that's a stupid thing to have bother you. People are different and it is impossible to expect your other half to just conform to all of your wants and desires and quite selfish to expect such a thing. I would say get over it

 

[TheGerman]

So far so good.

She's been home for about an hour and is sitting right near where some random shoes were and nothing has been said.

 

[P-Squared]

I stopped counting my wife's shoes at 450 pairs. I wouldn't have enough room in the garage to 'hide' them unless I got rid of important stuff like my reloading equipment. Now if you were really evil, you would make some sort of 'shoe shrine' and just keep collecting them in plain sight. You could even do it in the garage at about 7 feet off the deck. She could see them but...

 

[Night Eagle]

Dumbass

 

[Hairball]

its only shoes, let it go.

 

[TheGerman]

It's hilarious to see with things like calling me a dumb-ass or being afraid of what the wife would do really just show me who is scared of their wife lol

 

[coach4christ]

No this is #2. I did much better this time around.

There is a reason why marrying a Russian stripper going to nursing school sounds like a bad idea.

Dude I was sitting here drinking a glass of water (that I just spit all over my iPad). That is freakin hilariouse. By the way, I give her a week. You know, certain shoes go with certain outfits. She has to cycle back around.

 

[Turd in the Pool]

It's hilarious to see with things like calling me a dumb-ass or being afraid of what the wife would do really just show me who is scared of their wife lol

You understandably have or want the upper hand. My wife would get along with you well. I leave my shoes and shit wherever I can set it. Unfortunately for you, there is no plus for your argument. You take 'em she will buy more. Obviously her shoes hurt her feet. Maybe you should consider massaging them.

Cohabitation is a compromise. If you can't live with her "quirk", do as dk17 says, get a puppy ;-). That'll fix her. Either way you lose! Dumbass ;-)

 

[Sean the Nailer]

I can't believe it hasn't been said yet:

"Video, or it didn't happen"...... I'll get the popcorn. This is gonna end up Biblical.

 

[bogeybrown]

My (ex) wife would do exactly the opposite with MY shit. I would have something set exactly where I wanted it but not where SHE thought it should be so she would drag it out from its place and put it right in the middle of a room or in the middle of the hallway or whatever in an attempt to force me to "put it away". I'd happily step over it or around it for WEEKS and she would eventually lose her mind and ask "didn't you even notice your ........ sitting in the middle of the hall?"
I'd respond, "yep, but since YOU put it there, I figured that's where YOU wanted it, so I didn't want to fuck up your system of organization. If you wanted it somewhere else, why not just put it there? You had the energy to put it in the wrong place, why not the 'right' one?"

It was another reminder that when dealing with spouses LOGIC is not your friend.

 

[ridein4life]

No need for garbage bag when the dog beats ya to it.

 

[Killer Spade 13]

Son, you just ain't to damn bright, are ya? You're that special kind of stupid!!!

She's marking her territory like a tom cat pissin in your shoes.

Hope you got the number of a good divorce attorney!!!

Bless yore little heart . . . .

 

[Guest]

Move one shoe to a random place in the house. After she looks for it for an hour several times per week it will start to set in.
In the mean time...no puddy for you.

 

[rlwilson]

I like the PUPPY idea. Just to add my wife of 40 years moves things all the time and then it becomes lost forever. I am creature of habit so I put stuff in the same place, things in the garage or shop suffer the most, she has to change things all the time so things get moved or she thinks it needs to be put up in a spot not of my choosing so it is lost. You my friend are in the process of creating something that is going to be very difficult to deal with.

 

[CthulhuAwakens]

No this is #2. I did much better this time around.

There is a reason why marrying a Russian stripper going to nursing school sounds like a bad idea.

Ohhhhh...so they're those really big stripper heels then. Now I see why you're so upset.

 

[Nortex]

It was another reminder that when dealing with Women, LOGIC is not your friend.

Fixed

 

[Redmanss]

I'm glad random shit laying around, especially shoes, is one of my girlfriend's pet peeves.

Charge a hummer per pair to get them back. Check and mate...

 

[shibby575]

Puppy idea is brilliant. Not your fault you're playing tug Of war when she's not looking with them.

 

[bogeybrown]

I'm glad random shit laying around, especially shoes, is one of my girlfriend's pet peeves.

Charge a hummer per pair to get them back. Check and mate...

Nicely played sir.

 

[Sharpsman]

What ya gonna do bout the fact.....SHE'S SITTIN ON A MILLION DOLLARS??

 

[Yasherka]

There is a reason why marrying a Russian stripper going to nursing school sounds like a bad idea.

Those ones you lease.