Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor
- Thread starter Duc
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Fake or not...You decide.
But these muh'fukkahs are seriously fucked in the head...
But these muh'fukkahs are seriously fucked in the head...
Excellent example of negative leading of the target.....
One of the most famous pyramid builders was the great Pharaoh Mofugga. Word is that he had the worlds largest stolen chariot wheel cover collection and was even envied in the hanging gardens. Here he is in his prized boxers with a pole up his ass.
I cried when I heard my best friend had died from an overdose.
He still owed me for the drugs.
He still owed me for the drugs.
I was fucking my new girlfriend earlier when she stopped and said:
"I'm going to need a second."
"Need a bit of time to catch your breath?" I said smugly.
"No" she said, "a 2nd inch.
"I'm going to need a second."
"Need a bit of time to catch your breath?" I said smugly.
"No" she said, "a 2nd inch.
I crack up laughing every single time I see this. Absolute gold
That’s fucked up enough before you notice the man who is standing with her.
I thought I was the only one who noticed that syphilis face cocksucker.
Shyeet, I thought I recognized that SOB too. That is one turd that sticks out even if it was bobbing amongst the contents of the chunkiest septic tank soup in existence. Look at the grip he has on her arm.
That is one of the only moments I would absolutely appreciate if someone walked up and played the Knock-Out Game on that motherfucker. Bonus points if a sap cap or glove is used.
Wife caught husband cheating with guy, replaced his lube with super glue
Wife caught husband cheating with guy, replaced his lube with super glue
she is a straight up savage.
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how you get it in that tiny guard? Oh wait, sorry, never mind>>>
He is not in the friend zone, he is in the chump zoneWhoah...whoah...whoah..........no.
Someone to stay home and take care of the kids while she goes out and gets pounded good and hard by "Real" (as in non "evolved") MEN.
Maybe he's gay?...What am I saying??? Of course he is gay!
That would actually be the only way that he can reclaim some of his lost face and reputation. If he is hetero, he has been full on concrete-faceplant cucked.
Nice! That one just reminded me of the witty short story Neutron Tide, written by Arthur C. Clarke:
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“In deference to the next of kin,” Commander Cummerbund explained with morbid relish, “the full story of the super-cruiser ‘Flatbush’s’ last mission has never been fully revealed. You know, of course, that she was lost during the war against the Mucoids." We all shuddered. Even now, the very name of the gelatinous monsters who had come slurping Earthward from the general direction of the Coal Sack aroused vomitive memories.
“I knew her skipper well — Captain Karl van Rinderpest, hero of the final assault on the unspeakable, but not unshriekable, Yeetch!!”
He paused politely to let us unplug our ears and mop up our spilled drinks.
“‘Flatbush’ had just launched a salvo of probability inverters against the Mucoid home planet and was heading back toward deep space in formation with three destroyers — the Russian ‘Lieutenant Kizhe’, the Israeli ‘Chutzpah’, and her Majesty’s ‘Insufferable’. They were still accelerating when a fantastically unlikely accident occurred. ‘Flatbush’ ran straight into the gravity well of a neutron star.”
When our expressions of horror and incredulity had subsided, he continued gravely. “Yes — a sphere of ultimately condensed matter, only ten miles across, yet as massive as a sun — and hence with a surface gravity one hundred billion times that of Earth. “The other ships were lucky. They only skirted the outer fringe of the field and managed to escape, though their orbits were deflected almost a hundred and eighty degrees. But ‘Flatbush’, we calculated later, must have passed within a few dozen miles of that unthinkable concentration of mass and so experienced the full violence of its tidal forces.
“Now in any reasonable gravitational field — even that of a White Dwarf, which may run up to a million Earth G’s — you just swing around the center of attraction and head on out into space again, without feeling a thing. At the closest point you could be accelerating at hundreds or thousands of G's — but you’re still in free fall, so there are no physical effects. Sorry if I’m laboring the obvious, but I realize that everyone here isn’t technically orientated.” If this was intended as a crack at Fleet Paymaster General “Sticky Fingers” Geldclutch, he never noticed, being well into his fifth beaker of Martian Joy Juice.
“For a neutron star, however, this is no longer true. Near the center of mass the gravitational gradient — that is, the rate at which the field changes with distance — is so enormous that even across the width of a small body like a spaceship there can be a difference of a hundred thousand G’s. I need hardly tell you what that sort of field can do to any material object.
“‘Flatbush’ must have been torn to pieces almost instantly, and the pieces themselves must have flowed like liquid during the few seconds they took to swing around the star. Then the fragments headed on out into space again.
“Months later a radar sweep by the Salvage Corps located some of the debris. I’ve seen it — surrealistically shaped lumps of the toughest metals we possess twisted together like taffy. And there was only one item that could even be recognized — it must have come from some unfortunate engineer’s tool kit.”
The Commander's voice dropped almost to inaudibility, and he dashed away a manly tear.
“I really hate to say this.” He sighed. “But the only identifiable fragment of the pride of the United States Space Navy was . . . one star-mangled spanner.”
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You dont play cards? If you cant play, go home.I just took the butt plug out of it!
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