Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor
- Thread starter Duc
- Start date
Hop on the bus to hell Im driving. There’s beer!
My wife had been after me for several weeks to varnish the wooden seat on our toilet.
Finally, I got around to doing it while she was out. After finishing, I left to take care of another matter before she returned.
She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat.
About that time, I got home and realized her predicament. We both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever.
Finally, in desperation, I undid the toilet seat bolts. Julie wrapped a sheet around herself and I drove her to the hospital emergency room.
The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her (Try to get a mental picture of this.) My wife tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before".
The Doctor replied "Actually, I've seen lots of them. I just never saw one mounted and framed"
Finally, I got around to doing it while she was out. After finishing, I left to take care of another matter before she returned.
She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat.
About that time, I got home and realized her predicament. We both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever.
Finally, in desperation, I undid the toilet seat bolts. Julie wrapped a sheet around herself and I drove her to the hospital emergency room.
The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her (Try to get a mental picture of this.) My wife tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before".
The Doctor replied "Actually, I've seen lots of them. I just never saw one mounted and framed"
I couldn't help but overhear two guys in their mid-twenties while sitting at the bar last night.
One of the guys says to his buddy: "Man you look tired". His buddy says "Man I'm exhausted. My girlfriend and I have sex all the time. She's after me 3 and 4 times a day, I just don't know what to do".
A fellow about age 70, sitting a couple of stools down, also overheard the conversation.
He looked over at the two young men and with the wisdom of years says: "Marry her. That'll put a stop to that shit"
One of the guys says to his buddy: "Man you look tired". His buddy says "Man I'm exhausted. My girlfriend and I have sex all the time. She's after me 3 and 4 times a day, I just don't know what to do".
A fellow about age 70, sitting a couple of stools down, also overheard the conversation.
He looked over at the two young men and with the wisdom of years says: "Marry her. That'll put a stop to that shit"
In all seriousness though,
people shouldn't tell rape jokes.
Its Islamophobic.
people shouldn't tell rape jokes.
Its Islamophobic.
https://genesiustimes.com/breaking-california-fights-arson-by-banning-semiautomatic-matches
BREAKING: California fights arson by banning semiautomatic matches
BREAKING: California fights arson by banning semiautomatic matches
^^^^^That is definitely socially unacceptable. Funny as shit though.
I don't think penicillin is going to fix that.
“Hun, why do you need a new Apple watch? There’s a perfectly good clock on the stove!”
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