Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor
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As I understand it, that $600 is completely phased out for individuals who make more than $99k.
So how many of you will get any part of that $600?
So how many of you will get any part of that $600?
I got the part that pays for it all.
I don't know if it was our market, or our fridge, but cucumbers only really stayed fresh for a few days. This meant that at least twice a week I was stopping at the corner grocery store to just grab a couple cucumbers.
After a couple months it became obvious that I kept buying them from the same clerk. The way he interacted with me also changed, giving me little smile's and sometimes a wink.
All of a sudden it hit me, and I felt embarrassed by what he was probably thinking.
The next time I went in I also grabbed a jar of Vaseline; hopefully I fixed this before he spread any rumor's about me being a vegan.
After a couple months it became obvious that I kept buying them from the same clerk. The way he interacted with me also changed, giving me little smile's and sometimes a wink.
All of a sudden it hit me, and I felt embarrassed by what he was probably thinking.
The next time I went in I also grabbed a jar of Vaseline; hopefully I fixed this before he spread any rumor's about me being a vegan.
A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend "You won't believe what happened. I was taking a short cut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to it.
I untied her, and then we had sex over and over again, all the positions, everything.
His friend replies "That's great. Did you get any head?"
Oh, no... I never found her head".
I untied her, and then we had sex over and over again, all the positions, everything.
His friend replies "That's great. Did you get any head?"
Oh, no... I never found her head".
A teacher asked her class "What do you want out of life?"
A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said "All I want out of life is four little animals, just like my mum always says".
The teacher asked "Really and what four little animals would that be?"
The little girl said "A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bed and a jackass to pay for all of it.
A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said "All I want out of life is four little animals, just like my mum always says".
The teacher asked "Really and what four little animals would that be?"
The little girl said "A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bed and a jackass to pay for all of it.
Lavar, Lamar, and Leroy are sitting on the corner talking about cars. Lavar said he wanted a great big Cadillac when he grows up. Lamar said he wanted a great big Lincoln when he grew up. Both of them asked Leroy what kind of car he wants when he grows up. Leroy said he wanted a patch of hair shaped like a V. Lavar and Lamar said to Leroy, what are you talking about? Leroy said well, that is what my sister has and she owns a Cadillac and a Lincoln!
If he is, the man has life figured out!
He better be sitting on the shitter if he's gonna eat Rotten Ronnies. Good way to ruin a good BJ.
Its a dumpster scene there.
Like the nazi orgies in the bunkers.
Im not going there.
You 3D print a holder for her headToo bad the dipping sauce is just out of reach
I mean a fire station is one of they gayest places you can go other than any military installation
What a toolUltimate Chad... Boss level ACHIEVED... Bonus points if he got THIS shirt on.
Alright, here is one that is totally clean...
An engineer, a physicist and a statistician go elk hunting. The Engineer sees an elk, does all of his calculations and shoots. Misses 3 mils high. Then the physicist sees an elk, does all of his calculations, rechecks the wind and shoots. Misses 3 mils low. Finally the statistician walks up, drops his rifle, jumps in the air and yells "YES, we got him!!!"
An engineer, a physicist and a statistician go elk hunting. The Engineer sees an elk, does all of his calculations and shoots. Misses 3 mils high. Then the physicist sees an elk, does all of his calculations, rechecks the wind and shoots. Misses 3 mils low. Finally the statistician walks up, drops his rifle, jumps in the air and yells "YES, we got him!!!"
In regards to this thread as of late.
Im not mad, just disappointed. Call your shots, swing for the fence. Just do better.
A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway just outside of Washington, DC. Nothing was moving.
Suddenly, a man knocks on the driver’s window.
The driver rolls down the window and asks, “What’s going on?”
“Terrorists have kidnapped the entire US Congress, and they’re asking for a 100 million-dollar ransom. Otherwise, they say they’re going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We’re going from car to car, collecting donations.”
“How much is everyone giving, on the average?” asks the driver.
The man replies, “About a gallon.”
Suddenly, a man knocks on the driver’s window.
The driver rolls down the window and asks, “What’s going on?”
“Terrorists have kidnapped the entire US Congress, and they’re asking for a 100 million-dollar ransom. Otherwise, they say they’re going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We’re going from car to car, collecting donations.”
“How much is everyone giving, on the average?” asks the driver.
The man replies, “About a gallon.”
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