Bomb them! Again!!
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Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor
- Thread starter Duc
- Start date
This thread is getting too lame so here is something special for all of you to read before you have your dinner.
There was a man that went on a trip to China. He stayed in a big hotel but for food he wanted to eat where the locals ate so he asked for a recommendation from the desk clerk.
She told him of a small hole in the wall local place so he walked over there, was seated and not knowing anything about local food, ordered the "Special"
His food came out and it was OK but nothing to drink so he asked his waitress for something to drink.
She told him,"You eatee first, then go get on stool at that wall." and she pointed out a wall with 2 stools and 2 straws coming out of the wall.
He got on a stool and grabbed a straw and sucked on it and got a creamy fine tasting substance out of it and drank his fill then paid up and left.
The next day he went back there wanting to get to that wall with it's 2 straws again and told his waitress he really didn't want any food, just go straight to the wall with the straws.
"Oh no, you eatee first then go to wall." so he paid for the "special," ate a bit then headed to the bamboo covered wall with the 2 straws.
He got on a stool and grabbed a straw and sucked, got that creamy delite til it went dry then grabbed the other straw and sucked on it til he could hold no more and then paid up and left really happy.
The next day was his last day in China and the only thing on his mind was to get back to the straws and find out what that creamy wonderful stuff was so he could get some of that when he got home.
He paid for the "special", got his food but pushed it aside and headed to the wall with the 2 straws and 2 stools and since it was his last day there he sucked them both dry.
Wanting to know what that great creamy substance was so he could get it when he got home he pushed 1 bamboo screen aside but the straws went through another screen so he pushed that aside as well-
And there sat a Chinaman with 2 straws stuck up his nose.
End of story, Enjoy your dinner. FM
There was a man that went on a trip to China. He stayed in a big hotel but for food he wanted to eat where the locals ate so he asked for a recommendation from the desk clerk.
She told him of a small hole in the wall local place so he walked over there, was seated and not knowing anything about local food, ordered the "Special"
His food came out and it was OK but nothing to drink so he asked his waitress for something to drink.
She told him,"You eatee first, then go get on stool at that wall." and she pointed out a wall with 2 stools and 2 straws coming out of the wall.
He got on a stool and grabbed a straw and sucked on it and got a creamy fine tasting substance out of it and drank his fill then paid up and left.
The next day he went back there wanting to get to that wall with it's 2 straws again and told his waitress he really didn't want any food, just go straight to the wall with the straws.
"Oh no, you eatee first then go to wall." so he paid for the "special," ate a bit then headed to the bamboo covered wall with the 2 straws.
He got on a stool and grabbed a straw and sucked, got that creamy delite til it went dry then grabbed the other straw and sucked on it til he could hold no more and then paid up and left really happy.
The next day was his last day in China and the only thing on his mind was to get back to the straws and find out what that creamy wonderful stuff was so he could get some of that when he got home.
He paid for the "special", got his food but pushed it aside and headed to the wall with the 2 straws and 2 stools and since it was his last day there he sucked them both dry.
Wanting to know what that great creamy substance was so he could get it when he got home he pushed 1 bamboo screen aside but the straws went through another screen so he pushed that aside as well-
And there sat a Chinaman with 2 straws stuck up his nose.
End of story, Enjoy your dinner. FM
Wasn't as bad as I expected it to end.
Leave it to you to find a different take on glory holes.
Leave this one out of the book.
The N-word is such an awful word. I can't think of anything worse than calling a black person "neighbor".
I found out the other day that Peanut butter was meant to be spread on a piece of bread
not to be spread on the lips of the nether angel and licked up by the dog like its a buffet (fish and peanut butter never really got me going so I said no)
the more you know...
not to be spread on the lips of the nether angel and licked up by the dog like its a buffet (fish and peanut butter never really got me going so I said no)
the more you know...
Yea it's cute and all, but the best ever was in the movie "Van Wilder".
Just watch it.
At one point he whimpers "I'm bleeding" and that's about where you fall out of your chair laughing so hard.
Back in the 80s I was stationed with two guys we'll call Jim and Joe. They had this thing about walking up to each other and farting and making some comment. The closer to the face the better. The most memorial was when Joe backed up to Jim as he was sitting and ripped one that may have set a record for duration. As he walked away he said, "I think I pulled a muscle."
This is an actual eBay listing I stumbled across this morning. Appears something was lost in translation 
Gen-2020: "I can't believe I turned in all the guns Grandpa left me because the state said we will be doing so for a peaceful new world. What are all of those spaceship-looking plastic pods in the hospital and why are they putting all the elderly people and sick children into them, and why is no one ever leaving those pod things???"
I was really hoping to hear a random chirp in the background and see her lose her shit. Not that she really has it together anyway.
Put weak batteries in all her smoke detectors for the random low battery chirp at 0300ish
Does she know the difference between a cricket and a cockroach?
Probably not, but a gecko would solve the problem for either.
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