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Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor
- Thread starter Duc
- Start date
[IMG2=JSON]{"alt":"Her, Him, and Load: Her: EXCuse me, l'm trying to put a load in the dishwasher Him: Same \ud83d\ude0f\ud83d\ude02\ud83d\ude1d\ud83d\udc4c","data-align":"none","data-size":"full","src":"https:\/\/pics.me.me\/her-excuse-me-lm-trying-to-put-a-load-in-27945212.png"}[/IMG2]
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[IMG2=JSON]{"alt":"Image result for woman dishwasher meme","data-align":"none","data-size":"full","height":"415","width":"625","src":"http:\/\/s.quickmeme.com\/img\/98\/980618abacb62354b166c87c2c26112bd009d70e6e2eba72645937fdf91cb97f.jpg"}[/IMG2]
Man, I sure was ahead of my time! 
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Are they sorting, or just running them through a head chute (known as working cattle) here?
A girl came up to me in a club and said "I haven't had a cock for nearly 2 weeks now". I invited her back to my place, and she started fooling around. We got undressed. That was when I noticed that she still had the scars from surgery!
A guy was cutting the tail off his dog.
His neighbour asked "What the heck are you doing?"
"My mother-in-law is coming to visit and I don't want any sign of welcome" He replied.
His neighbour asked "What the heck are you doing?"
"My mother-in-law is coming to visit and I don't want any sign of welcome" He replied.
An avid Sportsman and hunter, Tim decided to tie the knot with his long-time girlfriend.
One evening, not long after the honeymoon, he was getting his equipment ready for an upcoming hunt.
His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks. "Honey, I've been thinking, now that we are married I think it's time you quit hunting, shooting, hand-loading, and fishing. Maybe you should sell your guns and boat".
Tim gets this horrified look on his face.
She says "Darling, what's wrong?" "You were beginning to sound like my ex-wife".
"Ex-wife!" she screams "I didn't know you were married before!" He replied "I wasn't..."
One evening, not long after the honeymoon, he was getting his equipment ready for an upcoming hunt.
His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks. "Honey, I've been thinking, now that we are married I think it's time you quit hunting, shooting, hand-loading, and fishing. Maybe you should sell your guns and boat".
Tim gets this horrified look on his face.
She says "Darling, what's wrong?" "You were beginning to sound like my ex-wife".
"Ex-wife!" she screams "I didn't know you were married before!" He replied "I wasn't..."
My wife and I went to the Calgary Bull Sale & Agricultural Show and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said "THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR"
My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs, smiled and said "He mated 50 times last year, that's almost once a week!"
We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said ""THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR"
My wife gave me a healthy jab and said "WOW! That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him".
We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters "THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR"
"My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said "That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one".
I looked at her and said "Go over and ask him if every time was with the same old cow".
My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs, smiled and said "He mated 50 times last year, that's almost once a week!"
We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said ""THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR"
My wife gave me a healthy jab and said "WOW! That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him".
We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters "THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR"
"My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said "That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one".
I looked at her and said "Go over and ask him if every time was with the same old cow".
A businessman on a business trip stayed in a beacfront motel and noticed a man fishing in the surf every morning and evening three days in a row. The fourth morning he went for a walk on the beach before his business meeting and sure nuff the guy is there fishing like hell. He asked the fisherman, you come here on vacation to fish? Nope im on my honeymoon he said. Dammit man, shouldn't you be in your motel making love to your new bride? Na she has gonnerea he said casting his rod. Well, you could at least snuggle with her or something! Na she got diarrhea too. Shit, well you could at least give her a kiss or two! Na she got piahrea too. Fuck me man why would you marry a woman with all those ailments. The newlywed fisherman said" hell she got worms too, and you know how I love to fish!
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