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Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor
- Thread starter Duc
- Start date
No way Jose'. I lernt my lesson. Can you believe a teacher suspending you for drawing the iconic symbols of "Rush" and "Blue Oyster Cult" on your Pee Chee, and maybe a desk top. Called me a Satan Worshipper.
Geezus Krist, I was just doodling and shit for brains has a meltdown. We had a strained relationship but he gave me reason to beat him into the classroom so I could fuck with his shit and watch him fume over it. Prick. 
No way Jose'. I lernt my lesson. Can you believe a teacher suspending you for drawing the iconic symbols of "Rush" and "Blue Oyster Cult" on your Pee Chee, and maybe a desk top. Called me a Satan Worshipper.
triple thumbs up!!!!
No way Jose'. I lernt my lesson. Can you believe a teacher suspending you for drawing the iconic symbols of "Rush" and "Blue Oyster Cult" on your Pee Chee, and maybe a desk top. Called me a Satan Worshipper.
Rush ? Good for you. BOC ? I'd a thumped you a good one too!.......
And I STILL rock to BOC. So there.
One of my first outdoor rockers as an IATSE #15 (Seattle) Stagehand. Rained the whole time. 30 hour day, completely soaked to the miserable fucking bone. I thought BOC was going to get electrocuted during their set.
More cowbell;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_MWeOs8Ffg
Some real music;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ul0qlHHvELU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfiIrJd_yEE
And, for some festive holiday S & G's;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPpcfH_HHH8
I was looking for videos of tanks cooking of ammo to show a coworker why tanks in general are rolling coffins. WWII era tanks anyway, because we were playing War Thunder on our lunch break... Anyway, all I kept finding were Syrian aloha snackbar videos and a lightbulb lit up in my head and I thought to myself, "If I've thought of this, someone has made a meme or video of it..." and sure enough, they have.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIYZ4823lQc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIYZ4823lQc
Today at the library I asked a girl what her New Year's resolution is and she said "Fuck you".
So, I'm pretty excited about 2018
So, I'm pretty excited about 2018
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T'wuz da nite befo Crimmus
An’ all ower de hood;
Ereybody wuz’ sleepin’;
Dey wuz sleepin’ good.
We hunged up our stockings
An hoped like de’ heck
Dat ol’ Sanna Claws
Be bringin’ ar check.
All o’ de fambly
Wuz layin in de beds,
Whilst Ripple and Thunderbird
Dance tru’ dey heads.
Ipassed out inna’ flo
Right nex to my Maw;
When I herd sech a fuss, I thunk,
“It mus be da Law!”
I looked out thru da bars
What covered my do’,
’Spectin da sheriff
Wif a warrent fo’ sho.
And what did I see,
I said, “Lawd, look at dat!”
They was a huge watta’ melon,
Pulled by giant warf rats!
Now ober all de years
Sanna Claws, he be white;
But looks liken us bros
Gets a black Sanna dis nite.
Faster dan a po’lees car,
My homeboy he came;
He wupped on dem warf rats,
An’ called dem by name!
“On Leroy, on ’Lonzo,
And on Willie Lee,
On Sapphire, on Chenequa,”
Dey wuz a site to see!
As he landed dat watta’mellon
Out der in da skreet,
I knowed it was fo’ sho’
Da damdest site I ebber did see.
He didn’t go down no chimbley,
He picked da’ lock on my do’;
An’ I sez to mysef,
“Shit! He done dis befo’!”
He had dis big bag,
Full of presents I ’spect;
Wid Air Jordans and fake gold
To wear roun’ my neck.
But he left no good prezents,
Jus’ started steelin’ my shit;
Got my drugs, got my guns,
Even got my burglar’s kit!
Wit my stuff in da bag,
Out da winda he flewed;
I woudda’ tried to catched him,
But he stoled my ’nife too!
He jumped on dat wadda’mellon,
An’ wipped out a switch;
He wuz gone in a seccon’,
Dat son of a bitch!
Next year I be hopin’
Anutha Sanna we git,
’Cuz diz here Sanna Claws
Jus’ ain’t werf a shit!
T'wuz da nite befo Crimmus
An’ all ower de hood;
Ereybody wuz’ sleepin’;
Dey wuz sleepin’ good.
We hunged up our stockings
An hoped like de’ heck
Dat ol’ Sanna Claws
Be bringin’ ar check.
All o’ de fambly
Wuz layin in de beds,
Whilst Ripple and Thunderbird
Dance tru’ dey heads.
Ipassed out inna’ flo
Right nex to my Maw;
When I herd sech a fuss, I thunk,
“It mus be da Law!”
I looked out thru da bars
What covered my do’,
’Spectin da sheriff
Wif a warrent fo’ sho.
And what did I see,
I said, “Lawd, look at dat!”
They was a huge watta’ melon,
Pulled by giant warf rats!
Now ober all de years
Sanna Claws, he be white;
But looks liken us bros
Gets a black Sanna dis nite.
Faster dan a po’lees car,
My homeboy he came;
He wupped on dem warf rats,
An’ called dem by name!
“On Leroy, on ’Lonzo,
And on Willie Lee,
On Sapphire, on Chenequa,”
Dey wuz a site to see!
As he landed dat watta’mellon
Out der in da skreet,
I knowed it was fo’ sho’
Da damdest site I ebber did see.
He didn’t go down no chimbley,
He picked da’ lock on my do’;
An’ I sez to mysef,
“Shit! He done dis befo’!”
He had dis big bag,
Full of presents I ’spect;
Wid Air Jordans and fake gold
To wear roun’ my neck.
But he left no good prezents,
Jus’ started steelin’ my shit;
Got my drugs, got my guns,
Even got my burglar’s kit!
Wit my stuff in da bag,
Out da winda he flewed;
I woudda’ tried to catched him,
But he stoled my ’nife too!
He jumped on dat wadda’mellon,
An’ wipped out a switch;
He wuz gone in a seccon’,
Dat son of a bitch!
Next year I be hopin’
Anutha Sanna we git,
’Cuz diz here Sanna Claws
Jus’ ain’t werf a shit!
Twas the night before Christmas, and geez it was neat,
The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.
The doors were all bolted, and the phone was off the hook,
It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.
Momma in her teddy, and I am in the nude,
Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.
When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,
That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry.
Up to the window I sprang like an elf,
Tore back the shade while she played with herself.
The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built,
Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.
With a fat little driver, half out of his sled,
A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.
Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite.
And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.
Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,
Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts.
Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree,
Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee.
They cleared the old lamp post; the tree got a rub,
Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.
And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,
As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.
I was donning my jacket to cover my ass,
When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.
His suit was all smelly with perfume galore,
He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.
"That was some brothel" he said with a smile"
The reindeer are pooped, and I'll just stay here awhile.
He walked to the kitchen; himself poured a drink,
Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.
I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee,
The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.
Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack,
But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.
The first thing he found was a pair of false tits,
The next was a handgun with a penis that spits.
A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find,
And a six pair of panties, the edible kind.
A bra without nipples, a penis extension,
And several other things that I shouldn't even mention.
A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil,
A dildo so long, it lay in a coil.
"This stuff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit,
So I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split".
He filled every stocking and then took his leave,
With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve.
He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead,
Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.
In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch,
Saying "Take me home Rudolph, this night's been a bitch!"
The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout,
"The best thing about sex is that it never wears out!"
The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.
The doors were all bolted, and the phone was off the hook,
It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.
Momma in her teddy, and I am in the nude,
Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.
When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,
That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry.
Up to the window I sprang like an elf,
Tore back the shade while she played with herself.
The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built,
Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.
With a fat little driver, half out of his sled,
A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.
Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite.
And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.
Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,
Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts.
Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree,
Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee.
They cleared the old lamp post; the tree got a rub,
Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.
And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,
As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.
I was donning my jacket to cover my ass,
When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.
His suit was all smelly with perfume galore,
He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.
"That was some brothel" he said with a smile"
The reindeer are pooped, and I'll just stay here awhile.
He walked to the kitchen; himself poured a drink,
Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.
I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee,
The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.
Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack,
But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.
The first thing he found was a pair of false tits,
The next was a handgun with a penis that spits.
A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find,
And a six pair of panties, the edible kind.
A bra without nipples, a penis extension,
And several other things that I shouldn't even mention.
A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil,
A dildo so long, it lay in a coil.
"This stuff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit,
So I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split".
He filled every stocking and then took his leave,
With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve.
He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead,
Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.
In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch,
Saying "Take me home Rudolph, this night's been a bitch!"
The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout,
"The best thing about sex is that it never wears out!"
You’re sick too.....(is that twice in as many days ?)
Buddy of mine took a chunk of paper towel, wrote on it & placed it in my beer fridge;
”Times are tough, times are hard, here’s your fucking Christmas card!”
Merry Christmas J and all you other miscreant deplorables on this board !
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Wrong media, wrong production, wrong decade, wrong thread ... and still insanely funny.
Have some appropriate automotive porn, 'cause you're a real, real good tryer!
http://www.pierce-arrow.com/Websites/piercearrow/images/Silver Arrow.png
Interesting. That’s a cold steel cargo v Trailmaster. The tip of that must be 1/4 if an inch from his brain stem.
Also some dude lost his $300 knife - I would be sad.
Also some dude lost his $300 knife - I would be sad.
As long as there's a gut hook on the end of this, I'm good with it.
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