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Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor
- Thread starter Duc
- Start date
Yeah, but you gotta give him props for having conviction (of his abject stupidity). And, props to Admiral Robert Willard for keeping his cool and not blurting out "Hank, you ignorant slut !"
Absolutely amazing that anyone this fucking stupid could get elected to any post, anywhere. He sure sounds stoned;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cesSRfXqS1Q
Teacher: "Johnny, can you tell me the name of 3 great kings who have brought happiness and peace into people's lives?"
Little Johnny: Drin-king, smo-king, and fuc-king.
Little Johnny: Drin-king, smo-king, and fuc-king.
The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.
When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time.
She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude.
But eventually his turn came. Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class,
and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down.
Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report, so she asked him just what that was.
"It's a period" reported Johnnie. "Well I can see that" she said "But what is so exciting about a period".
"Damned if I know" said Johnnie "But this morning my sister said she missed one.
Then Daddy had a heart attack, mummy fainted and the man next door shot himself".
When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time.
She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude.
But eventually his turn came. Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class,
and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down.
Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report, so she asked him just what that was.
"It's a period" reported Johnnie. "Well I can see that" she said "But what is so exciting about a period".
"Damned if I know" said Johnnie "But this morning my sister said she missed one.
Then Daddy had a heart attack, mummy fainted and the man next door shot himself".
A grandma is shopping with her grandson.
The grandson picks up a toy and the grandma shouts: "Degree, put the toy back!"
A woman who is shopping nearby hears this and asks if that is his name.
The grandma replies "Yes. I sent his mother to the university... and this is what she brought back.
The grandson picks up a toy and the grandma shouts: "Degree, put the toy back!"
A woman who is shopping nearby hears this and asks if that is his name.
The grandma replies "Yes. I sent his mother to the university... and this is what she brought back.
80,000 blondes meet in a football stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" Convention. The leader says "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"
A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.
The leader asks her "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds she says "Eighteen!"
Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start cheering "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"
The leader says "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the worldwide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance".
So he asks "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says "Ninety?"
The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh. Everyone is disheartened. The blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"
The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says "Okay! Okay! Just one more chance - what's 2 plus 2?"
The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says "FOUR!?"
Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream... "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"
A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.
The leader asks her "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds she says "Eighteen!"
Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start cheering "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"
The leader says "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the worldwide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance".
So he asks "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says "Ninety?"
The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh. Everyone is disheartened. The blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"
The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says "Okay! Okay! Just one more chance - what's 2 plus 2?"
The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says "FOUR!?"
Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream... "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"
Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, if there's grass on the turf.... play ball!!
the picture is bad enough, let alone bringing up the hairy gut...
need a commercial weedeater for that
need a commercial weedeater for that
Never post anything like that again!!!! Between that and the blue waffle my ribs hurt from retching....
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This is cold...
No, really. It's cold. It's in a 'fridge!
Cheers!
i dont know why, but that damn near killed me. i aint laughed that hard in a long time.
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