Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor
- Thread starter Duc
- Start date
Knocked her Vulva outta alignment. He ain't gett'n none tonight. Or tomorrow either.
He shoulda kissed it and made it all better for her.
Knocked her Vulva outta alignment. He ain't gett'n none tonight. Or tomorrow either.
Hope she wasn't walking around with any kind of "plug", if so it got counter sunk.
Im gonna show that to momma tomorrow after we finish our shooting range time and are ready for dinner.......
I actually like the old fashioned idea of marriage too. Call me crazy
I actually like the old fashioned idea of marriage too. Call me crazy
Notice I said after the range..... ?
She doesnt know how to get in my safe.....
She is too sweet to bludgeon a fellow with a tire iron just for a funny. She will laugh, of that I am certain.
She doesnt know how to get in my safe.....
She is too sweet to bludgeon a fellow with a tire iron just for a funny. She will laugh, of that I am certain.
Yeah....so she’s good with slow, dull blade, huh ?.......certainly sounds like a better option to me......
One evening, after the honeymoon, Tom was working on his guns in the garage.
His new wife was standing there by the bench watching him.
After a long period of silence she finally said,
"Honey, I've just been thinking, now that we are married, maybe it's time you quit spending so much of your
time out here in your garage.
You probably should also consider selling your gun collection and that reloading equipment.
Tom got a horrified look on his face.
She said, "Darling, what's wrong?"
He replied, "There for a minute, you were starting to sound like my ex-wife."
"Ex-wife!?" she screamed, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!"
Tom replied, " I wasn't.."
His new wife was standing there by the bench watching him.
After a long period of silence she finally said,
"Honey, I've just been thinking, now that we are married, maybe it's time you quit spending so much of your
time out here in your garage.
You probably should also consider selling your gun collection and that reloading equipment.
Tom got a horrified look on his face.
She said, "Darling, what's wrong?"
He replied, "There for a minute, you were starting to sound like my ex-wife."
"Ex-wife!?" she screamed, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!"
Tom replied, " I wasn't.."
Tower this is Two Niner Savoy Alpha, Request permission to Potato.
Two Minutes Later....
Two Minutes Later....
Tower this is Two Niner Savoy Alpha, Request permission to Potato.
Two Minutes Later....
Shit like this never gets old.
Thanks sirh
What do you call those useless flaps of skin surrounding a vagina?
A woman.
Cheers,
Sirhr
A woman.
Cheers,
Sirhr
There was a little boy, his parents, and the little boy's grandma living in a house together.
One morning the grandma calls the little boy downstairs for breakfast. When he gets there, he asks "Where are mummy and daddy?" and the gramma replies "They're still in bed". The little boy laughs and goes out to play until he's called by his grandma for lunch.
"Where is mummy and daddy?" he asks at lunch. "They're still in bed" she replies. The little boy laughs again and goes out to play until his grandma calls him in for dinner.
"Where is mummy and daddy?" the little boy asks. "They're still in bed!" the gramma replies. The little boy giggles again and the gramma asks
"Why do you keep laughing every time I say that your mummy and daddy are still in bed?" The little boy replies "Because last night daddy asked me to bring him the Vaseline while him and mummy were in bed and I brought him the Super Glue instead!
One morning the grandma calls the little boy downstairs for breakfast. When he gets there, he asks "Where are mummy and daddy?" and the gramma replies "They're still in bed". The little boy laughs and goes out to play until he's called by his grandma for lunch.
"Where is mummy and daddy?" he asks at lunch. "They're still in bed" she replies. The little boy laughs again and goes out to play until his grandma calls him in for dinner.
"Where is mummy and daddy?" the little boy asks. "They're still in bed!" the gramma replies. The little boy giggles again and the gramma asks
"Why do you keep laughing every time I say that your mummy and daddy are still in bed?" The little boy replies "Because last night daddy asked me to bring him the Vaseline while him and mummy were in bed and I brought him the Super Glue instead!
An autopsy professor was giving an introductory lecture to a class of students.
Standing over a corpse, he addressed the class. "There are two things you need to make a career in medical forensics.
First, you must have no fear". Having said that, he shoved his finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. "Now you must do the same" he told the class. After a couple of minutes of uneasy silence, the class did as instructed.
"Second" the professor continued "you must have an acute sense of observation. For instance, how many of you noticed that I put my middle finger up this man's anus, but licked my index finger?"
--
Standing over a corpse, he addressed the class. "There are two things you need to make a career in medical forensics.
First, you must have no fear". Having said that, he shoved his finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. "Now you must do the same" he told the class. After a couple of minutes of uneasy silence, the class did as instructed.
"Second" the professor continued "you must have an acute sense of observation. For instance, how many of you noticed that I put my middle finger up this man's anus, but licked my index finger?"
--
A man was just waking up from anaesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said "You're beautiful".
Then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said "You're cute!"
The wife was disappointed because instead of "beautiful" it was now "cute". She said "What happened to 'beautiful'?" The man replied "The drugs are wearing off!"
Then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said "You're cute!"
The wife was disappointed because instead of "beautiful" it was now "cute". She said "What happened to 'beautiful'?" The man replied "The drugs are wearing off!"
Similar threads
