Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor

#1,101
17903503_1200376500105820_8567456521273955907_n.jpg
 
#1,108
The 80s were a great time to be good looking and single. I met a lot of women at the dance clubs. One night I met this blond chick who was only about 5'1", but had a rockin body. A real spinner. So we were moving and grooving. And I could tell she was looking for DMSR. Eventually I asked her if she wanted to get out of there. So she tells her friends I'm going to take her home. At her place we go straight to making out. Before long all her clothes are off. Now at that point I don't think there's a lot to say. It's pretty clear what's about to go down. So I start taking my clothes off too. But she gets all serious on me as says "just so we're clear, I won't make love to a man unless he's got seven inches." Well I'd never heard anything like this in my life. To be honest guys, I was a little offended. And certainly uncomfortable with that. I wasn't about to go through some crazy surgery just to satisfy some gal I just met. So I put my clothes back on, headed to the door, and told her how it was: "fuck you bitch, I don't cut an inch off for anyone!" And I was out the door.
 
#1,109
Cartman said:
The 80s were a great time to be good looking and single. I met a lot of women at the dance clubs. One night I met this blond chick who was only about 5'1", but had a rockin body. A real spinner. So we were moving and grooving. And I could tell she was looking for DMSR. Eventually I asked her if she wanted to get out of there. So she tells her friends I'm going to take her home. At her place we go straight to making out. Before long all her clothes are off. Now at that point I don't think there's a lot to say. It's pretty clear what's about to go down. So I start taking my clothes off too. But she gets all serious on me as says "just so we're clear, I won't make love to a man unless he's got seven inches." Well I'd never heard anything like this in my life. To be honest guys, I was a little offended. And certainly uncomfortable with that. I wasn't about to go through some crazy surgery just to satisfy some gal I just met. So I put my clothes back on, headed to the door, and told her how it was: "fuck you bitch, I don't cut an inch off for anyone!" And I was out the door.
Click to expand...

I met that same bitch, I just folded in in half and went in double wide.
 
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#1,132
sirhrmechanic said:
Somehow I think that the term 'Ex girlfriend' is more appropriate for this video.

Cheers,

Sirhr
Click to expand...

He better hope he doesn't get the Lorea Bobbit treatment.

A biology teacher told me this one many years ago and it would be a fitting response. Go to the beach and collect a bunch of jelly fish. Dry the tentacles and grind them into a powder. Then liberally dust his drawers. When he starts to sweat the stinging cells will reactivate and you can figure it out from there.

Then she dumps his dumb ass.
 
#1,135
Dirty D said:
[IMG2=JSON]{"data-align":"none","data-size":"full","src":"https:\/\/media.giphy.com\/media\/4WHkXdDx8wjS0\/giphy.gif"}[/IMG2]
Click to expand...

Jesus H. Christ... If you're gonna accuse someone, you ought to do it right, Private Pyle!



[IMG2=JSON]{"data-align":"none","data-size":"full","src":"http:\/\/i.imgur.com\/HEOJs.gif"}[/IMG2]

Besides, I was referring to those motorcycle accessory control handle bars from the description in the old J.C. Whitney Catalog as: "Extended handlebars with integral risers for long-armed Motorcyclists."

I don't know what you had in mind??? But I don't see how extensions for the un-naturally-long-radius-boned moto rider has to do with racism?? Maybe you should explain yourself?

:p

Cheers,

Sirhr
 
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#1,144
sirhrmechanic said:
Jesus H. Christ... If you're gonna accuse someone, you ought to do it right, Private Pyle!



[IMG2=JSON]{"data-align":"none","data-size":"full","src":"http:\/\/i.imgur.com\/HEOJs.gif"}[/IMG2]

Besides, I was referring to those motorcycle accessory control handle bars from the description in the old J.C. Whitney Catalog as: "Extended handlebars with integral risers for long-armed Motorcyclists."

I don't know what you had in mind??? But I don't see how extensions for the un-naturally-long-radius-boned moto rider has to do with racism?? Maybe you should explain yourself?

:p

Cheers,

Sirhr
Click to expand...

of course it didnt have anything to do with him looking like an orangatan...
 
#1,148
I wasn't sure where to post this so mods please feel free to move this to the fitness forum or observation devices. So today my doctor told me that I need to stop masturbating, I was shocked and confused that she would intrude on such a personal subject. Being taken aback it took me a minute to ask why and she said something about it creeping out the nurses in the office. Come to think about it the old ladies sitting next to me in the waiting room when the doctor came out to ask me to stop seemed uncomfortable too. Hmmmpf!
 
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