The 2019 WTF did you get for Christmas thread! (horrible gifts welcome, and encouraged)

[Scott037]

Wife asks me what I want for Christmas. I know we can't afford a new $4500 custom rifle, so I answer practical. Told her I need new socks and underwear.
She gets me a pack of 12 pairs of socks. All good.
She gets me a 5-pack of boxer briefs. All good.
I take a shower and put a fresh pair-o'-the brand spankin' new undies, finished getting dressed, and go about by business.
3 hours later, I gotta pee. I stroll up to my toilet, lift the seat, unzip the jeans, and look for the fly-hole in the new briefs.
And I'm feeling around looking for the hole and I think, "WTF? Did I put 'em on backwards?" I check for the label to see if it's in the front and nope - it's in the back where it's supposed to be.
I'm thinkin' "these M-Fers are defective! Hope she's got the receipt".
So I finish my mission (in a much more troublesome and complicated fashion than usual - thanks to the "defective" undergarment). I then check the rest of the newly acquired skivvies to make sure they're not defective - and sure enough, the other 4 pair are hole-less too! Holey-sh*t, Batman!? Is this some kind of practical joke?
I then decide to visit my internet search guru, Bing - and see what Al Gore's Illustrious interwebs have to say on the subject. To my shock and horror...fly-less mens underwear is actually a thing! I can find articles about this dating back to around 2009! What in the 7th Circle of Hell is THIS new evil? Are they trying to make men have to squat to pee? Is this part of the insidious plot to rid the world of all masculinity (both toxic and otherwise)?

No way I'm having any of this, so I head to a local dept. store to get myself a pack of actual MEN's underwear, and don't ya know - 2/3's of their stock is this same abomination of man-shaming nonsensical concoction. With no indication on the package of the surprise contained therein. The only code words I could find on any packaging that might indicate the contents were of these abominations were the words "performance pouch".
Seriously?

So far I've asked three of my friends if they've heard of such nonsense, and they all looked at me like I'd lost my mind. I hope so. In fact I hope I wake up and this has all been just a bad dream.

Lululemon and nike boxer briefs dont have a fly. My pee trys to say hi if jog in briefs with a fly.

 

[Ravenworks]

got a new knife for cleaning deer

View attachment 7211849

Hey, I know the guy that made that knife.
My buddy Curt bought one like it.
Gordon makes some really nice stuff.

 

[Heretoimproveforhunting]

Hey, I know the guy that made that knife.
My buddy Curt bought one like it.
Gordon makes some really nice stuff.

i've got a semi on order too. . . that was my first choice but he didnt happen to have the steel on hand.

 

[Mike Casselton]

I got a safe along with other things.

The totally awesome @Geno C. helped me bring the bastard in the house, while on his vacation.

After he left, I put the innards into it, tossed a rifle and a custom BA into it and went to Christmas Eve services.
Got back to the house and the sumbitch won't open. Keypad is good, even changed batteries. Backup key fits and still won't open it.

It's something in the linkage.

I'd like to get back into it, otherwise I've got a nice, stout time capsule taking up room.

Called the manufacturer and they walked me through everything I've already done. They promised to make it right, and am waiting a call back tomorrow.

☹???

 

[JakeM]

I got a safe along with other things.

The totally awesome @Geno C. helped me bring the bastard in the house, while on his vacation.

After he left, I put the innards into it, tossed a rifle and a custom BA into it and went to Christmas Eve services.
Got back to the house and the sumbitch won't open. Keypad is good, even changed batteries. Backup key fits and still won't open it.

It's something in the linkage.

I'd like to get back into it, otherwise I've got a nice, stout time capsule taking up room.

Called the manufacturer and they walked me through everything I've already done. They promised to make it right, and am waiting a call back tomorrow.

☹???

Well shit man.

 

[jsimonh]

I've been with my wife since high school, this was our 21st Christmas together. As she does every single year, she bought me clothes (I'm 6'7") and every year they dont fit. This year it was a really nice OU camo hoodie that was 2xT. The body wouldve fit a 7 footer, however the sleeves were built for a 6 footer....I'm pretty legit at returns at this point in time though.

 

[oneshot86]

Hey, I know the guy that made that knife.
My buddy Curt bought one like it.
Gordon makes some really nice stuff.View attachment 7212728

super nice

 

[Ravenworks]

Gifts to myself
More of Gordon's work.

 

[D2junky]

New shirt and a piece of ass.......both too big.