Maggie’s Too good not to share.......Enjoy

jrhammons

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Nov 9, 2006
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I don't why I laugh harder becasue I have done it or I see my sons doing it sooner if not later.....maybe I won't share with them.....

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40-horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down?

That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw-gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place.

One afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and saw a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (ether).

A light bulb went off in my head. I grabbed the can of ether but then I thought that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. Lets face it, to a 10-yr- old mouth-breather like myself, ether really doesn't "sound" flammable. So, I went into the house and got a 1-pound can of pyrodex (black powder for muzzle loader rifles).

At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the can of ether but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, 1lb. of pyrodex and 16 oz of ether should make a loud pop, kinda like a big firecracker you know? You know what? I went back in the house and got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're cookin'.

I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time-frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck... He just got home from work!!!

I swear it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the stump. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a look in his eyes.

I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the can of ether right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of pyrodex and into the can. When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just a reflex jerk back from 235 decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as I could see. It was like a little layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two.

The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this...THE DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE!!

There was a big sweet gum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I said "was". I think it got up and ran off.

So here I am, on the ground, blown completely out of my shoes with my T-Shirt shredded and my dad on the other side of the carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback: ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE!! CEASE FIRE!!!!! His hat has blown off and is 30 ft behind him in the driveway. All the windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow-rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard. There is a Honda 185 3-wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires.

I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know - I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head.

I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't remember much from that point on.

I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea.

I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR. and Dad screaming "Bring him back to life so I can kill him again". Thanks Mom.

One thing is for sure...I never had to mow around that stump again. Mom had been complaining about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.

Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality from the blast.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It's good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.
 
Re: Too good not to share.......Enjoy

LOL!!

That brings back memories. I think 10 must be the pinnacle point where naivety and intelligence intersect.

At the same age I turned a 200yr old oak into a flaming pillar of light while trying to eradicate a massive ant pile that sat at the base of the tree. I filled the peak with a couple of intertwined M60s and a hefty amount of lighter fluid. The epic volcano of crispy ants and flaming dirt clods did the rest.

It took a while to grow my eyebrows back...and for the welts on my ass to subside to the point where sitting was comfortable again.

The one consolation for me beside the satisfaction of total ant obliteration was all the really cool fire trucks that showed up.
 
Re: Too good not to share.......Enjoy

i read this while holding on to my 7 month old son. i started laughing uncontrollably which caused my son to start giggling up a storm. we shoot guns and arrows in this house. i better put my pyrodex away before he finds it....

still ROTFLMAO.....
 
Re: Too good not to share.......Enjoy

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Megahoser</div><div class="ubbcode-body">...and for the welts on my ass to subside to the point where sitting was comfortable again....</div></div>

The good old days...laffin
 
Re: Too good not to share.......Enjoy

Growing up Dad was a taxidermist and kept a large paper bag of assorted size syringes for injecting whatever into his mounts.
I found that with Pyrodex as the power source:
dowels+syringe+duct tape+ homemade fuse= bottle rockets!!!

Those were the days!!
 
Re: Too good not to share.......Enjoy

It wasn't 10 for me, closer to 15. Dad let me stay home alone on New Year's Eve. And I had time to plan...

I found some stout cardboard tube, filled it with 2F, some cannon fuse from the local gun store, and duct-taped the hell out of it.

At precisely midnight, I lit that fuse on the front sidewalk.
BOOM!
Oh, it was beautiful! Car alarms ('80s style) went off. Windows rattled up and down the block! Neighbors rushed out. Fire trucks cruised the block. I was king.

Now, mind you, this was northern Ohio. On New Year's. That means snow everywhere.

The next morning, I got up before my Dad and gazed over the front lawn. The front snow-covered lawn that was now covered in black, burnt-gunpowder specks. Every inch. Exactly like the black-powder range my Dad and I went to every month. He would know!

When my Dad got up a half-hour later, he commented on how industrious I was, to have re-shoveled the driveway, sidewalk, and even the whole front yard to move all the snow into a couple dirty piles...

Years later, I found out that the gun store owner that sold all my cannon fuse to me, was also my Dad's good friend. Every time he sold cannon fuse to me, he would put another couple pounds of black powder on my Dad's account...
 
Re: Too good not to share.......Enjoy

I didn't have the supply of black powder at my disposal so, I used what I did have...ACETYLENE.
grin.gif


A balloon and a paper sack (back when groceries came in them) made for a nice loud KABOOM!
 
Re: Too good not to share.......Enjoy

I remember my first bow. I was 7 maybe 8. Everything got an arrow or two in it. My friend and I would go around and shoot those little wood arrows with the blunt metal tips at everything. I was pretty bad there was not a potted plant in the neighborhood that did not have an arrow hole in it. We would take turns shooting at everything.

It was his turn and he said William Tell and raised the bow and shot it into the window of the neighbors trailer. Thank god it did not break it. It just tore the screen.

Several weeks later my friend showed me an arrow he found while camping. It was a regular aluminum arrow with a field point on it. So we were shooting it back and forth in the yard and of course it stopped next to his dads car and it was now his turn to shoot. So he said William Tell and draws back as far as he could and pops that arrow into the tire of his dads car. Sure enough there was enough force to cause a leak. So we grabbed the arrow and ran.

It does not take a genius to do the math kids with bow and arrow + flat tire = ass beating and grounding. So that is what happened. On the day I got it back my friend said I know what will be fun. So we made some flaming arrows and shot them in the drainage ditch over and over. I drew back and looked at my friend and asked who William Tell was. About that time enough burning liquid came back and was burning my hand so I jerked and shot the arrow. Right into a hay bale. As luck would have it the flames where all over the bail in what seemed like an instant. I do not know what was in that bail but I think it had to have been pure fire because it burnt so fast then it was out. Then we went home to never speak of that again. Did not get grounded for burning a bale but did for the flaming arrows. Apparently every mom was watching us idiots trying to start the world on fire and none of them did anything but call our moms.

As the weeks went by until I got my bow back we did stupid things like climbing up on the house and jumping off of it to the ground the bush the car. When a little boy launches from a trailer onto a car there is ware more damage done than one would expect.

So my parents finally gave me back my bow. We did pretty good at not getting into trouble for a few weeks. Untill one day when it was my friends turn. His sister came behind the trailer of her friends place I would guess 50 to 80 yds. My buddy said William Tell raised the bow and shot at his sister. I was thinking nope we are good he will never hit her. About that time the little wooden safety arrow hit here square in the head. The arrow fell to the ground she grabbed her head we ran over and he said a bird few right into your head. She was maybe five. He said we should have mom look at this birds have rabies. At this point she was crying like she knew she was going to die. Once we got in the house his Mom saw us three and the girl holding her head. She jumped up and started whooping the hell out of him saying I knew you would do this with that f’ing bow. He was screaming it was a bird. She looked at me and said what happened. I did not want his mom to beat me so I was it was a bird they have rabies. So she looked at her daughters head and said it was a bird? We nodded and then asked her. She said I do not know!

I went home and later that night and asked Dad who is William Tell? Dad was instantly mad. He said if I ever catch you shooting an arrow even near where someone is I will beat you until I am sure you can not shoot a bow any more.

Long story short bow and arrows are an open invitation for boys to get into trouble with.


We will leave the pelt rifle stories for another time.
 
Re: Too good not to share.......Enjoy

Mine was a pellet gun , cardboard box and a 12ga.shell, you can guess a bruise on the forehead that said winchester 12 ga.
and a blistered ass from my dad.
 
Re: Too good not to share.......Enjoy

When I was about ten years old I got in trouble for shooting my friend in the forehead with a tiny rock with my Benjamin pump pellet gun, I had ran out of pellets (only pumped it twice, he was about thirty yards away). It was because he told on me for what we did the day before. We put about a hundred roofing nails point up just outside one of our neighbors garage. These neighbors were terrible, the two boys were like vampires and stayed inside all day and were little assholes and their mom was always in everyone's business, gossiping and telling our parents we need helmets to ride go carts and bikes and that we were too loud and rode too fast etc. She was a loud, mean, fat ol bitch. They got four flat tires for their crimes and we got our asses whipped hard with leather belts and put on restriction. Yep, the Benny pump was confiscated but not before dealing what could have been a blinding blow to my buddy, whoops. He never told on me again though haha.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Sespe</div><div class="ubbcode-body">It wasn't 10 for me, closer to 15. Dad let me stay home alone on New Year's Eve. And I had time to plan...

I found some stout cardboard tube, filled it with 2F, some cannon fuse from the local gun store, and duct-taped the hell out of it.

At precisely midnight, I lit that fuse on the front sidewalk.
BOOM!
Oh, it was beautiful! Car alarms ('80s style) went off. Windows rattled up and down the block! Neighbors rushed out. Fire trucks cruised the block. I was king.
</div></div>Haha, a pyro firefighter. Nice

Damn Teppo-Ka, I just read your original post in here.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Teppo-Ka</div><div class="ubbcode-body">The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this...THE DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE!!
</div></div>
Epic

I lit the orange grove behind the house I grew up in on fire while pouring muriatic acid on a black racer snake... Whoops, who knew that would happen. I was around ten years old for that one as well. I caught much belt for that one too.

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: maxx</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Mine was a pellet gun , cardboard box and a 12ga.shell, you can guess a bruise on the forehead that said winchester 12 ga.
and a blistered ass from my dad. </div></div>Damn
 
Re: Too good not to share.......Enjoy

What’s the saying; God watches over fools and children? My friends and I were both, around that same age of 10-12 years old we figured out you could walk down to the local pharmacy and buy a quart size bottle of sulfur and potassium nitrate. This was 45 years ago and little chemistry sets were popular gifts back then.
Pretending to be little science students we lied to the pharmacist bought a ton load.
Combined with ground up charcoal we had a great homemade black powder mix. We’d light it up in piles, we made homemade devices to blow up.
Then we got creative, hell I was gunsmith at 10 years of age. We took a threaded pipe and added an end cap, drilled a hole for fuse and stuffed a marble down the tube.
We blew a hole right through a 1 inch board. I can’t believe we came out of that age with our eye’s and fingers intact.
At the local Dolomite brickyard we’d hollow out and entire stack of bricks and make a fort, now mean a real FORT, with rooms and different levels a covered top. It was cool in the hot summer and we’d hang out in there for hours. I’m sure we were on some fork lift drivers hit list, I picture him lifting a stack and the whole thing caving in as it was hollow.
When 13-14 hit we were out of control, hopping trains, climbing construction sites that were building 2-4 story buildings. Then driving became our passion, we’d steal the keys, push our parents car out the driveway quietly, roll on down the street and off we’d go. Drive around for 2 hours and sneak back home.
On occasion we get caught; punishment was a little rougher back then. “Time out” had not been invented.
Teppo-Ka; you opened a floodgate of memories.
 
Re: Too good not to share.......Enjoy

You know this reminds me of a time about the same age when a buddy of mine and I decided to try and burn a groundhog out of his hole. We poured a gallon or so of gasoline into the hole, we let it percolate for a minute then backed up and threw in a match. Nobody evr told us a groundhog always makes two holes on a den, we had backed up right over the other hole. Needless to say our asses got lit up big time by the flame thrower type flash that followed. Never did it again either.
 
Re: Too good not to share.......Enjoy

Made a rocket ship from an Joy dishwasher detergent can (came in cans then) and filled it with lighter fluid
I lit it, and it took off across the ground about 20 yards, in the yard and shot out flames which 2nd degree burned my fingers. Never got airborne either..
 
Re: Too good not to share.......Enjoy

I remember those little red compound bows. I loved mine until it got taken away. After I broke all the wooden arrows from shooting whatever I could see, dad decided to use his bent aluminum arrows that he culled from his competition bow. We measured draw length and he cut them down and refletched em all and everything. One winter day my buddy and I were at the house and mom said it was too cold and nasty to go outside so we brought it upon ourselves that being indoors wouldn't keep us from target practice. After finding a Sharpie we drew ourselves a target on the drywall and got about 10 or so shots in before we got the belt.