So a 'neighbor' over towards the river (about 2 miles away) apparently decided to put in a skating rink at his rental house. Yes Rental House. He rented it in march to get away from New Yawk. He'es from downtown Manhattan. So has all the handyman skills and common sense of a sock monkey. My apologies to sock monkeys.
Beginning this past weekend, he builds this plastic lined 'rink' and puts sort of a dam around it. Weak thing. Made of snow and some pieces of plastic. I think the kind of stuff you edge flower beds with. Not staked every few feet (how could he do that... ground's been frozen for three weeks even if we have very little snow and constant thaws. But, hey... water doesn't weigh much, right? How much reinforcement could you need for a few inches of water. It'll freeze right away anyway, won't it? Well not if you read the extended forecast. It's currently 40... and will be 50 and raining christmas day here. Not exactly a polar expedition weather week. Last I checked, water freezes at 32. Look it up. It's on Wikipedia.
He actually asked my buddy (nis next door neighbor) if he could pay him and his son to dig it out and get it ready for him. They laughed at him and said pound sand.
Anyhoo, this muppet builds a weak-little dam in the shape of his soon-to-be-epic hockey rink... and lined it all with plastic sheeting. Built on newly-frozen ground. In weather that is days away from a big December thaw. Then, because apparently his 400-channel satellite dish doesn't get "The Weather Channel"... he spent $1,000 having a truck bring him in 10,000 gallons of water. Two tanker truckloads. This morning. Which the local trucker guy was no doubt happy to do. Water sales are usually low in December in Vermont. I imagine our local water trucker was laughing his ass off. But don't question these sock puppets from Manhattan. They probably went to Harvard Business School. They know better.
So about 2 hours ago... buddy calls in stitches. He had just got home from visiting Schloss Nitrocellulose (which is how I heard the story.) His neighbor is standing next to the little dam screaming for help because the dam is collapsing. My buddy gets out of the car and takes about 5 steps towards the guy's house and bam... 10,000 gallons of water bursts out and starts downhill towards the guy's (rental) house. Woosh. Did I mention he built this little ersatz pond UP THE HILL from his house, in a well-thought-out-plan? Fortunately, the water diverted and ran off before flooding the house. And "Raggedy Andy" who has the brains of a ficus tree... but probably manages your retirement hedge-fund-account is left standing soaking wet, his yard covered in plastic debris and washout... and $1,000 poorer. My buddy is dying laughing... was on the phone having trouble breathing while telling the story...
I am waiting for pictures now... ROTFL... dumbasses. The moral of the story is that if you are a brainless twat-waffle from Manhattan and you can't put in a lightbulb without calling the building 'super... Just go home. You don't belong here. Go play Urban Cowboy and wear Plaid to the Starbucks. Pretend you are a Lumberjack in Greenwich Village where that sort of thing is encouraged. Don't pollute our little slice of heaven with your presence. We only tolerate you because we can ridicule you mercilessly. Just go back to Manhattan and hope you get COVID and die. Because that is a death more merciful than what living in the country will do to these moonbats if they stick around. Darwin works. It works better if you have the brains of a Cabbage Patch Doll...
ROTFLMAO
Sirhr
Beginning this past weekend, he builds this plastic lined 'rink' and puts sort of a dam around it. Weak thing. Made of snow and some pieces of plastic. I think the kind of stuff you edge flower beds with. Not staked every few feet (how could he do that... ground's been frozen for three weeks even if we have very little snow and constant thaws. But, hey... water doesn't weigh much, right? How much reinforcement could you need for a few inches of water. It'll freeze right away anyway, won't it? Well not if you read the extended forecast. It's currently 40... and will be 50 and raining christmas day here. Not exactly a polar expedition weather week. Last I checked, water freezes at 32. Look it up. It's on Wikipedia.
He actually asked my buddy (nis next door neighbor) if he could pay him and his son to dig it out and get it ready for him. They laughed at him and said pound sand.
Anyhoo, this muppet builds a weak-little dam in the shape of his soon-to-be-epic hockey rink... and lined it all with plastic sheeting. Built on newly-frozen ground. In weather that is days away from a big December thaw. Then, because apparently his 400-channel satellite dish doesn't get "The Weather Channel"... he spent $1,000 having a truck bring him in 10,000 gallons of water. Two tanker truckloads. This morning. Which the local trucker guy was no doubt happy to do. Water sales are usually low in December in Vermont. I imagine our local water trucker was laughing his ass off. But don't question these sock puppets from Manhattan. They probably went to Harvard Business School. They know better.
So about 2 hours ago... buddy calls in stitches. He had just got home from visiting Schloss Nitrocellulose (which is how I heard the story.) His neighbor is standing next to the little dam screaming for help because the dam is collapsing. My buddy gets out of the car and takes about 5 steps towards the guy's house and bam... 10,000 gallons of water bursts out and starts downhill towards the guy's (rental) house. Woosh. Did I mention he built this little ersatz pond UP THE HILL from his house, in a well-thought-out-plan? Fortunately, the water diverted and ran off before flooding the house. And "Raggedy Andy" who has the brains of a ficus tree... but probably manages your retirement hedge-fund-account is left standing soaking wet, his yard covered in plastic debris and washout... and $1,000 poorer. My buddy is dying laughing... was on the phone having trouble breathing while telling the story...
I am waiting for pictures now... ROTFL... dumbasses. The moral of the story is that if you are a brainless twat-waffle from Manhattan and you can't put in a lightbulb without calling the building 'super... Just go home. You don't belong here. Go play Urban Cowboy and wear Plaid to the Starbucks. Pretend you are a Lumberjack in Greenwich Village where that sort of thing is encouraged. Don't pollute our little slice of heaven with your presence. We only tolerate you because we can ridicule you mercilessly. Just go back to Manhattan and hope you get COVID and die. Because that is a death more merciful than what living in the country will do to these moonbats if they stick around. Darwin works. It works better if you have the brains of a Cabbage Patch Doll...
ROTFLMAO
Sirhr
