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Maggie’s Funny & awesome pics, vids and memes thread (work safe, no nudity)
- Thread starter Lawless
- Start date
The Rolling Stones sucked until they put out Sgt Pepper.
And have your legs cut off at the knees
Apparently the Taliban is very accepting. You could call them a 'little tent' organization!
Sirhr
Now we know who puts the bombs under the cars. Tactical midget seems better than trunk monkey to me.
Yes, but the song came from “The White Album.”
Not “The Beatles Amish Christmas Lights Choral Extravaganza.”
Or “Sniff the Glove.”
Sirhr
I can imagine this conversation:
"Trust me Achmed, the Americans would never shoot a dwarf. You go walking out there, and we can track their location by their laughter"
Having owned 10 or 12 Galaxys and now a year into a iphone, iI can say they both suck equally.
Not sure how true it still is today, now that it has all been Yankiefied... but when I moved to NC in 1988.... holy hell this was true! My first trip grocery shopping was a wake up... Clerk wanted to chat about every item she was checking in to the register (no bar codes back then! "Oh, honey, how is that brand frozen pizza? I've wanted to try it. You know, that is the best tea! If you want, we have store brand orange Coke cheaper." I was losing my mind... but got used to it!
We woodchucks got along with you rednecks just fine... ;-)
THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW IF YOU MOVE TO THE SOUTH.
1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5. Onced and Twiced are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!
7. Jawl-P? means: Did you all go to the bathroom?
8. People actually grow, eat, and like okra.
9. Fixinto is one word. It means I'm going to do something.
10. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.
12. Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.
13. The word jeet is actually a question meaning, 'Did you eat?'
14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.
16. Y'all is singular. All Y'all is plural.
17. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.
18. You carry jumper cables in your car for your OWN car.
19. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Cajun seasoning, Tabasco, and ketchup.
20. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, motorsports, and gossip.
21. Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, Miss (first name), or Mr (first name)
22. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
23. You know what a hissy fit is..
24. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
25. We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!
26. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the South.
AND one more:
27. Why did the chicken cross the road? To show that stupid possum that it CAN be done!
Cheers,
Sirhr
We woodchucks got along with you rednecks just fine... ;-)
THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW IF YOU MOVE TO THE SOUTH.
1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.
5. Onced and Twiced are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!
7. Jawl-P? means: Did you all go to the bathroom?
8. People actually grow, eat, and like okra.
9. Fixinto is one word. It means I'm going to do something.
10. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.
12. Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.
13. The word jeet is actually a question meaning, 'Did you eat?'
14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.
16. Y'all is singular. All Y'all is plural.
17. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.
18. You carry jumper cables in your car for your OWN car.
19. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Cajun seasoning, Tabasco, and ketchup.
20. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, motorsports, and gossip.
21. Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, Miss (first name), or Mr (first name)
22. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
23. You know what a hissy fit is..
24. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
25. We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!
26. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the South.
AND one more:
27. Why did the chicken cross the road? To show that stupid possum that it CAN be done!
Cheers,
Sirhr
For clarification on num. 10, when my brother asked my grandfather why the evening meal was supper, he replied "Have you ever seen a painting called the "Last Dinner of Christ"?
I got the last one in a gas station in FarmVille NC cutting the highway corner to make it back to Lejeune before formation.
This channel is pretty darn good.
About 35 years ago in Laverne, AL I got a, “You might do that shit in Florida, but not in my town, boy!”
Came back from his cruiser and said, “Yor eye-dee card gotchu outta ticket, boy.”
If you're away from a base town it might get you a pass, but in the ville they gotcho numba and are lookin' fo grunts ta bust.
FARMvull? Whatuz you doin in FARMvull?
I spent much of my formative years and some alrrady well formed, in that area. Mostly Greenville, Belvoir, Stokes, Falkland.
Rat of the tree. The only way they’re edible is in a crockpot simmered in red wine stew for at least four hours so you can no longer tell it’s a tree rat.
Got all that Pimp juice hosed out of it.
