I blame Bogeybrown

[TheGerman]

bogeybrown

After talking about our great adventures in the majestic land of Afghanistan, I've started to have that shit garbage smell in my nose and I've started to chew fucking Levi Garrett and Red Man Black select again for the first time in years. I've been hiding it from the wife and have been using my coffee mugs as ninjaesque covert spit cups instead of my usually practice of just spitting them anywhere that isn't 'indoors'(most of the time, well, at least when no one was looking). I now find myself up at 3am, looking for a a goddamned Rip it Fruit Bomb (and if don't think the FB is the best, well, you just suck at life) that I may either totally drink, or pop a hole into and throw at some kids.

At this point I'm just waiting for some giant Nigerian guy to start yelling Jambo at me.

Damn you bogey, damn you.

 

[Veer_G]

Uh huh ...

 

[bogeybrown]

You'll be fine bro, here's what you need to do:

Have your wife wake you up at all hours of the night with a red light in your face, and then say "oh, sorry dawg, wrong rack"

Get up in the middle of the night in your skivvies and shower shoes and walk down the block to find a place to piss

Eventually get tired of said midnight walk to go take a piss and just start pissing in empty water bottles

Hoard said piss bottles under your bed

Wake up thirsty and start sniff-testing the bottles of water laying around to ensure you're not drinking a piss bottle

Find some of the dumbest people you can find, put them in ACUs and put shiny things on their shoulders.

Listen to said dumb people tell you how to do the job you were brought to A-Stan to do because YOU are the expert at it, but hey: that BDOC guy was a highly skilled HVAC tech/ diesel mechanic/ admin clerk/ or something similarly relevant before being put in charge of Force Pro.

Wake up one day, after being in your house for years, and get told by the neighbors who moved in yesterday that you need to vacate your house immediately because they've decided that your family should be on the other side of the neighborhood. Because, well, just because.

Live in the yard for a while like a homeless guy, but shower in bottled water like a millionaire.

Make it a point to breathe burning shit, piss, batteries, and other industrial waste whenever you get the chance

Be sick and tired of all that shit, but keep signing up for another year because there's still guns and gear you "need" because some asshole you've become friends with on SnipersHide said so in a brand new "which is the best gun? scope? ammo? spotter? rangefinder? bipod?" thread.

 

[Veer_G]

I'm just trying to understand why a West African Nigerian would be speaking Swahili. It's a linguist thing.

 

[sirhrmechanic]

They all sound the same, Veer....

As for Bogey and Bavaria... aka The German... ROTFLMAO...

Hey, wasn't April 1 the deadline for Bogey's tag line? He wore it like a man! If I were him, I'd keep it. Just because.

Cheers,

Sirhr

I've noticed that Coyote has been remarkably absent. Maybe he couldn't handle the tag line?

 

[bogeybrown]

They all sound the same, Veer....

As for Bogey and Bavaria... aka The German... ROTFLMAO...

Hey, wasn't April 1 the deadline for Bogey's tag line? He wore it like a man! If I were him, I'd keep it. Just because.

Cheers,

Sirhr

I've noticed that Coyote has been remarkably absent. Maybe he couldn't handle the tag line?

It's funny you mention that. Where's the fucking @ForgetfulCoyote been with his tag line? I haven't seen the youngster around much lately.
With the April 1 deadline approaching, I've been considering whether to keep it or put it up for bid.

 

[Redmanss]

Be sick and tired of all that shit, but keep signing up for another year because there's still guns and gear you "need" because some asshole you've become friends with on SnipersHide said so in a brand new "which is the best gun? scope? ammo? spotter? rangefinder? bipod?" thread.

Or think "Shit, if I went back, maybe I could get that AIAX I always wanted..." Doesn't help when my lady is working back over there and I'm at the house.

 

[bogeybrown]

Or think "Shit, if I went back, maybe I could get that AIAX I always wanted..." Doesn't help when my lady is working back over there and I'm at the house.

What the fuck is wrong with us? I too am considering another gig simply because I didn't buy 2 Colt Pythons and an AIAX the last time around. I have no fucking clue what role the AI would fill, since I've already got more 308s and 6.5s than I should, but fuckit: it's contract money.

 

[Redmanss]

Haha, all too true bro... We're playing it straight this time, paying shit off as soon as it hits the account, I'm financing the M40A5 build solely from selling some stuff off I never use, and trying to get the both of us out of the endless contracting cycle we all know and love. It sucks worse when you're not only good at it, you masochistically like the suffering associated with it because it's just so fucking fun otherwise.

 

[Darkside-Six]

Lol. Just wait until he sends you one of those late night random FaceTime calls.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[bogeybrown]

I'm already getting primed for the return:

Habitually masturbating like a 14yr old even when the ole lady is home, and saying "cheers mate" to everyone for no fucking reason at all.

The piss bottle stash will start any day now

 

[Maggot]

Well! Ive never been to Afghanistan but I just watched Hyena road so I feel I qualify as an expert in saying Its all in your head, Gman.

Take 6mg of dilaudid, 1/2 bottle of good Pinot Noir, youll feel much better in the am.

 

[bogeybrown]

Well! Ive never been to Afghanistan but I just watched Hyena road so I feel I qualify as an expert in saying Its all in your head, Gman.

Take 6mg of dilaudid, 1/2 bottle of good Pinot Noir, youll feel much better in the am.

My last mission during the fun days was doing the dismounted route clearance patrols for the Route Hyena extension through the Horn. I lived on Sperwan Ghar and a buddy of mine is shown twice in the real footage they used for the movie.
The first few minutes where he talks about the bullshit on KAF is pure gold.

 

[TheGerman]

Come on, you know you miss:

- The day you finally realized underwear was an extra accessory item that you no longer really needed.
- Accidentally start drinking the chew spit bottle at 4am
- It became optional to do anything if sirens actually went off on BAF
- Having enough time on your hands to weigh the PROS and CONS of staying in a CHU, or moving uptown into a conex box.
- Also having enough time to try and plot how you are going to ship all the brand new computer equipment, servers and whatnot, still in the shrink wrap back stateside before they blow it up because whatever contract it was for, changed
- We never could get camel spiders to fight each other : /
- The sound of a brand new DPMS carbine being dragged around on the ground, All. Fucking. Day.

 

[bogeybrown]

I smoked in my tent most of the time (and smokes were under $4 per carton) so no need to chew, but I did drink out of a few of my ashtray bottles.

Only time I ever had a CHU in 4yrs, I was evicted from it after 6weeks because, well, just because

On the rare occasions I was on KAF long enough to get chow or whatever I completely ignored the sirens while the POGs ducked under tables

I mailed home every bit of expensive shit that was worthwhile to me. I had to stop because one of my guys caught the Post Office guys smuggling weed through the mail and that apparently fostered some ill will (pic below)

I don't think I ever heard of camel spiders fighting each other, but they were supposed to be pretty sporty against a scorpion. Don't know if you had them up north, but the fucking Tali-bees were not to be trifled with (pic below)

Our ANA/ANP guys were more prone to bedazzling their rifles with kids' stickers and sticking opium poppies down the barrel for decoration




Carnivorous wasp or whatever they were. We called them Talibees. They would land on your chow and not move as you were trying to eat. Somewhere I have a pic of a small (5" or so) camel spider that decided to drink out of my water bottle in the middle of the night. It's a miracle that I actually turned on my light to find my water and saw the damn thing. I guess making sure that I wasn't drinking an ashtray or piss bottle

 

[TheGerman]

Yeah fuck whatever that thing is.

I either never saw them or they don't come up north. Could be the same thing as your Cobra Commander wearing ninja outfits down south.

 

[Dirty D]

You'll be fine bro, here's what you need to do:

Have your wife wake you up at all hours of the night with a red light in your face, and then say "oh, sorry dawg, wrong rack"

Get up in the middle of the night in your skivvies and shower shoes and walk down the block to find a place to piss

Eventually get tired of said midnight walk to go take a piss and just start pissing in empty water bottles

Hoard said piss bottles under your bed

Wake up thirsty and start sniff-testing the bottles of water laying around to ensure you're not drinking a piss bottle

Find some of the dumbest people you can find, put them in ACUs and put shiny things on their shoulders.

Listen to said dumb people tell you how to do the job you were brought to A-Stan to do because YOU are the expert at it, but hey: that BDOC guy was a highly skilled HVAC tech/ diesel mechanic/ admin clerk/ or something similarly relevant before being put in charge of Force Pro.

Wake up one day, after being in your house for years, and get told by the neighbors who moved in yesterday that you need to vacate your house immediately because they've decided that your family should be on the other side of the neighborhood. Because, well, just because.

Live in the yard for a while like a homeless guy, but shower in bottled water like a millionaire.

Make it a point to breathe burning shit, piss, batteries, and other industrial waste whenever you get the chance

Be sick and tired of all that shit, but keep signing up for another year because there's still guns and gear you "need" because some asshole you've become friends with on SnipersHide said so in a brand new "which is the best gun? scope? ammo? spotter? rangefinder? bipod?" thread.

The suck! My suck was different than your suck but you learn to recognize the suck and embrace it. I simultaneously don't miss it and remember it fondly.

 

[bogeybrown]

The suck! My suck was different than your suck but you learn to recognize the suck and embrace it. I simultaneously don't miss it and remember it fondly.

We remember The Suck fondly because it showed us how many couldn't handle it. The Suck was like the prick of a coach who hated everyone but took the time to mentor a few kids who showed promise.

 

[Dirty D]

aka deployment Darwinism, sometimes it's fun to watch it play out and occasionally it involves handcuffs and SP's/MP's.

 

[Maggot]

These two, Bogey and the German, are getting so....chummy, so sweet, and all this talk about Spirit Animals, perhaps we need to spring for a long weekend for them in Acapulco and hope we get some 'Uberbrown' babies.

 

[bogeybrown]

These two, Bogey and the German, are getting so....chummy, so sweet, and all this talk about Spirit Animals, perhaps we need to spring for a long weekend for them in Acapulco and hope we get some 'Uberbrown' babies.

If you're paying I'm sure TheGerman and I could survive a trip without killing each other. Any place with plenty of good beer and hot crazy chicks ought to do. We'll even send a postcard

 

[Maggot]

If you're paying I'm sure TheGerman and I could survive a trip without killing each other. Any place with plenty of good beer and hot crazy chicks ought to do. We'll even send a postcard

Only if we get an 'Uberbrown' in 9 months.

 

[bogeybrown]

Only if we get an 'Uberbrown' in 9 months.

Sorry Mags, but neither of us identify as having a uterus. And not one person who knows me has ever recommended that I produce offspring.

 

[Maggot]

not one person who knows me has ever recommended that I produce offspring.

I seem to have that same claim to fame.

 

[Forgetful Coyote]

These two, Bogey and the German, are getting so....chummy, so sweet, and all this talk about Spirit Animals, perhaps we need to spring for a long weekend for them in Acapulco and hope we get some 'Uberbrown' babies.

LOL might wanna avoid Guerrero. Not saying these 2 cant handle themselves admirably but aint no point getting shot or watching a kidnapping while trying to enjoy a drink in a place that dont allow firearms.
http://www.borderlandbeat.com/2016/03/sicarios-use-jet-ski-for-beach-front.html

 

[Maggot]

LOL might wanna avoid Guerrero. Not saying these 2 cant handle themselves admirably but aint no point getting shot or watching a kidnapping while trying to enjoy a drink in a place that dont allow firearms.
http://www.borderlandbeat.com/2016/03/sicarios-use-jet-ski-for-beach-front.html

Good catch. The word Guerrero, as well as being the name of the state in which Acapulco lies, also means 'warrior'. Up in those mountains live the remnants of the Nahuatl people, believed to be the original race that crossed the Bearing Sea and drifted southwards. They have never been fully subdued by the Spaniards.

 

[TheGerman]

Beer and vacation, I'm in.

Chances are we'll need bail too.

 

[Sgt.Henry]

Sorry Mags, but neither of us identify as having a uterus. And not one person who knows me has ever recommended that I produce offspring.

Hell I can testify that you don't need any offspring, but you and Hamby would make some hellacious kids, just saying at least those of us still cops would have job security.

 

[bogeybrown]

Hell I can testify that you don't need any offspring, but you and Hamby would make some hellacious kids, just saying at least those of us still cops would have job security.

No way am I going to be your Eskimo brother with her. Although, she did say that you reminded of her of her girlfriend in the sack. Said you were so soft and tender that she was almost tempted to take out her dip while she did you from behind.

That was a cool woman, and more of a man than most on that camp.