Trial number 2, Guilty X 3.
Only one left to go.
Got to say my piece.....
Trial Board 2
Graduating the Academy I was told I was taking on an “identity”. I remember my senior DI telling the class as “Troopers” it would imply something about us, it would become part of us, something we would have forever. In a fraction of the time it took to earn it, and 17 years of living it, that “identity” has been taken from me. I thought in retirement I would be the old guy PT-ing in the neighborhood and people would say “There goes the Trooper” implying a positive attribute for me and where I came from.
When I came home from working in Leominster I would drive the cruiser through the neighborhood, slower than anyone else, thinking I had to represent the job favorably as the driver that cared about the neighborhood kids. When I saw people out walking they would see the cruiser, initially show concern; wondering why is the State in the neighborhood, than I would wave and smile letting them know its just the guy that lives the next street over…”the friendly Trooper”. Now when I drive past them in the family Honda I represent no one. No recognition from them to respond with a wave if I wanted to, if they even remember I was a Trooper they are probably thinking to themselves “Wonder what he did wrong to get fired?”
The calls from my co-workers have stopped. Things in an organization like the MSP move on. It’s to be expected. What is concerning to me is the two attitudes from those that have left me.
I hear “I hate what is happening to you. I can’t wait to retire and I’m going to skip the promotional exams.” I knew these people to be workers that created my enjoyment of the job just from being associated with them. As a tax payer expecting good service I think I will be getting poor, low morale, service going forward.
More rare, but I heard it, is the former co-worker that wanted to be vaccine free but under duress took the shot. I have heard it said in anger “People just need to take it. No lawyer is going to prevent it. It’s going to happen.” They seem psychologically broken. They realize they did something they objected to and now think the application of force will make an outcome inevitable. What if someone resists their force? Now that they have denied their own strong objections to the mandate have they been trained that force is acceptable if it gets them what they want or if it has been ordered?
In retirement I thought representing the MSP was going to be a continued obligation. If I went out in formal attire it was going to be tough deciding if I should wear a USMC, Eagle, Globe and Anchor on my lapel or the MSP shield. Perhaps to make a bold statement I would wear both. Recently a Trooper that lives nearby called to thank me after I did a favor for him. He said “He (was) sorry for what is happening to you guys” than mentioned he can’t wait to retire in June. The last was a knife to my chest twenty times. He will retire with the financial security I hoped to provide my family and he will still be “Trooper” and I will just be “Dishonorable”.
The Governor is activating the Guard to replace nurses in hospitals. The official story line is its due to a “covid surge” but I have not forgotten that recently the news was telling us of 200 nurses in just one Worcester area hospital network being let go for not taking the vaccine. The “covid surge” is just another lie. What will the State Police do to fill its thinning ranks?….The first step is going to require you water down your standards. When I took the test over 16,000 candidates took it with me and that was prior to joining the civil service test. You don’t get near that now and it used to be unheard of for a Trooper to lateral to a local department or even become a fireman but it happens now….This organization will soon be one I would never consider to associate myself with. It won’t have that status I thought on par with the Marine Corps.
When the job picks up my remaining gear and uniforms anything in my possession with the logo will go into the trash can. An acquaintance that has the habit of calling me “Trooper Phil” will be told to “Please stop, never call me that again.” My Mom can make her own decision to keep or remove the “State Police are your Best Protection” stickers all over her car.
You will still be “Troopers”. When I am on the highway now and I see a cruiser I still get the urge to wave in recognition. I’ll stop that, I’m not in a cruiser anymore, and doing it now will just get my license plate run to see if I have warrants. When my son asks to go striper fishing in Boston Harbor he will wonder why we are parked in a public garage rather than by the Marine Unit where we fish. He will probably ask “Aren’t you a Trooper?” than it will sink in for him “No. I’m not one of them.”
I hope “Trooper” is something you enjoy in retirement and it regains its prideful connotations. You will be the force to ensure “passports”, “travel restrictions” and the proposed “discrimination” that is coming, is adhered to. Over 60 days ago I was telling my supervisor I couldn’t give up my beliefs because it would just hasten these things coming and I was told “That will never happen here”. In the time my 17 years of service have been dismissed, here we are with more mandates, passports in Boston, less freedom and steps closer to the “Trooper” not doing good bringing “calm to chaos” but the force necessary to implement the mandates.
I’m learning the job is so petty as to deny me unemployment as I go through this personally hurtful drawn out process….I guess “Family First” only matters for those that are willing to follow orders. My family doesn’t matter. I can understand you attacking me but you should be ashamed for attacking my family. If this really were a public health decision the message would be “Your service was appreciated but we cannot bend in this matter. You are still a valued person we can try to help you transition to something that will work.” Now in A Troop communications we are considered as something to “deal” with, a burden of the “unvaccinated ordeal”, people to be disposed of before the end of February. This and denying us unemployment just indicates to me you do want to destroy those not able to abide by the mandate….nice.
Trooper John Mill was my senior DI at the Academy. Major Mill is gone now replaced by my exemption denier, Capt Gabriel, being promoted in his place. Major John Mill has initiated the investigation into my compliance with the mandate. He is the beginning and the end of my career. I never would have guessed that to be the way things would turn out when I responded to him being run over by a gang banger in Fitchburg. I’m sure it’s nothing personal, he is “Just following orders”. It was through Trooper Mill that the meaning of “Trooper” was explained to the 77th RTT. Many of the Trainees had never been tested in order to earn an “identity”. I remember we were in the Academy Gym holding our M-14s – real rifles – at “the balance of the piece” when Tpr Mill told us “Trooper” was forever and it came with obligations. I think I am fulfilling my obligations but I don’t need or want that “identity” Trooper, seems it was just words within the organization; I am not leaving the job so much as the job has left me and the ideals it was supposed to uphold.