Maggie’s Real Pussy vs. Fleshlight

[Strykervet]

Asking for a friend!

Seems like a prudent question in light of 9mm vs. .45 and ceramic vs. AR500 etc. and all the tactical boogaloo questions of late. I mean, real pussy won't fit in a IFAK so you gotta make concessions somewhere and it'd be easy to argue pussy ain't very tactical anyway, even if it comes armed, armored, camo'd with stand alone bipedal locomotion slaved to the owner --they still make too much noise and don't come with volume control, despite how many generations they've come, and they're VERY expensive. Then there's legacy issues and DX'ing a broken one is a real pain in the ass.

So which should I get? How would you store it? What worked best in the field? Milspec vs. civilian? Durability?

Fire away.

 

[Threadcutter308]

When was the last time you heard a report of a flesh light “backseat driving” ?

I didn’t think so........

Carry on

 

[Strykervet]

That's a result of the volume control I think. Or lack of one.

And one uses batteries and the other uses, well, you!

 

[Steel head]

Nuthin beats the vag.
Mud hole is a good alternative.

 

[Lapuapalooza]

I don’t want to give away all my operator secrets, but a fleshlight will fit in an extra mag pouch. Not only that, but I’m the 2 is one scenario, if you can find a saddle to fit, you can also ride your sheep into battle.

Didn’t even consider all your options, did you?

 

[gsd1983]

You don’t need a silencer for a Fleshlight.

 

[Slash0311]

Well, the real thing can at least be mobile on its own, assuming you can put with everything that comes with that. But self-mobility can have its advantages by not taking up precious space. But it means you have to have food and supplies for what comes with it.

For the flashlight, no backtalk, no mood swings, no waiting on decisions on where to eat, and no frivolous spending at salons. That frees up precious money for more guns and ammo. Batteries for an extended engagement could be problematic but possible.

Seems only one logical choice for me.

 

[Jscb1b]

Real vag. Cut out with a sharp knife. Smells tastes and feels GOOD. It just has to be replaced every couple of days.

 

[W54/XM-388]

No need for those "male toys".
Nature gave you hands, that's all you need.
Resist the temptation of toys and lubes, you don't need them

 

[moaorbust]

Neither your hand nor Fleshlight experience shark week every month.

 

[Jscb1b]

Never trust anyone that bleeds for seven days and doesn't die.

 

[W54/XM-388]

 

[Krawlven]

My wife likes guns and explosives. Hates other women, because they wont shut the hell up.
She also cooks, and is very helpful with whatever repairs are needed on projects i get into.

And the fleshlight was too small anyway.

 

[BigTex]

Is the Fleshlight MIL or MOA?

 

[...]

Is the Fleshlight MIL or MOA?

IPHY......but the range estimations always seem to come out 15% longer than actual

 

[CaptNemo]

Flesh light never says no.

 

[moaorbust]

Is the Fleshlight MIL or MOA?

It depends on country of origin. Europe uses metric.

 

[Slash0311]

But... if you stick it in the wrong hole of a fleshlight, do you just get an extra tingle from the batteries... not slapped into next month???

Asking for a friend.

 

[theLBC]

personally, prefer a self-cleaning system. that's about all i have to say about that.

on a related topic, is it pee?

 

[LaraCroft]

I have noticed over the years that only certain types of people tend to broach these topics, and they generally are either 1) virgins, 2) stay up late playing online video games and have no idea how to date, 3) are fugly, 5), think so highly of themselves they can't keep anyone long enough to even get to 2nd base, 6) trying to fit in with the cool guys, or 7) some combination thereof.

So, which is it? Ps, I skipped 4, so go ahead and throw something else in there.

On that note, if a woman came in arguing for a real dick or a dildo, what would be the argument for either or? Since y'all are on that topic, go ahead and throw that out there.

 

[Jscb1b]

#6.

 

[Lapuapalooza]

#4. Humor as a coping mechanism for the world’s insanity.

A dildo will always be right where you left it.

 

[Jscb1b]

Dildos never come first?

 

[LaraCroft]

#4. Humor as a coping mechanism for the world’s insanity.

A dildo will always be right where you left it.

Humor as a coping mechanism I totally understand. And sarcasm. I live there. Total second language at this point.

 

[W54/XM-388]

On that note, if a woman came in arguing for a real dick or a dildo, what would be the argument for either or? Since y'all are on that topic, go ahead and throw that out there.

Crave Duet Pro

Then if you really want to go crazy, Hitachi Magic Wand.

 

[Trigger Monkey]

 

[kl3309]

...the real thing can at least be mobile on its own...

There's an acronym for that: UMF - Uterus Mobility Facilitator

 

[LaraCroft]

So, basically the OP is asking if he should get a human being or a man-made object to get off on/in.

When we circle back to the last thread I got in on, some of y'all wonder why women don't comment more? Really?

At least if you are beating yourself off into an object, you won't reproduce.

 

[Lapuapalooza]

So, basically the OP is asking if he should get a human being or a man-made object to get off on/in.

When we circle back to the last thread I got in on, some of y'all wonder why women don't comment more? Really?

At least if you are beating yourself off into an object, you won't reproduce.

Well in his defense, @Strykervet is old...

I mean old by ‘Hide standards... it’s all just fantasy at this point.

 

[LaraCroft]

Well in his defense, @Strykervet is old...

I mean old by ‘Hide standards... it’s all just fantasy at this point.

So old women don't want to have sex with old dudes?

 

[LaraCroft]

At least an older woman can't get pregnant!

 

[jphil108]

Lathes pull hair like nobodies business.

 

[Lapuapalooza]

So old women don't want to have sex with old dudes?

From what I understand old women want to have sex with young men. Just like young women... unless your a billionaire. Then, I have a theory that women will have sex with an old billionaire while fantasizing about his wallet. That’s the only way women will have sex with an old man...can you blame them though? Who wants to sit down at a feast to find a limp spaghetti noodle and two old raisins on the plate?

 

[LaraCroft]

Wells we don't have that problem in this house.

 

[DairyDictator]

Flesh light never says no.

Duct tape fixes everything

Turns "No" into "MMMMM"

 

[1moaoff]

Seriously??? A good woman can't be replaced.

 

[Bender]

What

 

[Bender]

The

 

[Bender]

Fuck

 

[powdahound76]

Well, @LaraCroft I appreciate your levity. monkeymasher is a lucky fellow.

Knowing what I do, guessing the plastic and batteries is the only option for most guys.

 

[LaraCroft]

Well, @LaraCroft I appreciate your levity. monkeymasher is a lucky fellow.

Knowing what I do, guessing the plastic and batteries is the only option for most guys.

Eh, seems to be the only option for some women, too.
Is what is is. I just like to banter.

 

[LaraCroft]

Well in his defense, @Strykervet is old...

I mean old by ‘Hide standards... it’s all just fantasy at this point.

So, what is "old by 'Hide standards"? Do elaborate..

 

[Lapuapalooza]

So, what is "old by 'Hide standards"? Do elaborate..

@powdahound76 is a kiddo. He is 38ish

That’s the real reason he’s here. It’s like the only place left that he is the youngest one in the room

 

[powdahound76]

Im 40 now ya old bugger!!!

with the grey to prove it. Maybe not quite as much as you though .....

36F and raining steady here.
was mid 90’s yesterday at 1400.

 

[LaraCroft]

OMFG if y'all think 38ish is old, y'all will think I'm old haha

 

[powdahound76]

A gal I had dinner recently with is 44.

 

[LaraCroft]

A gal I had dinner recently with is 44.

Omg (sense sarcasm)

 

[1moaoff]

I'm 45

 

[LaraCroft]

Happy guessing, COVID-19 style

 

[LaraCroft]

cuz, I ain't sayin' shit