Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor
- Thread starter Duc
- Start date
Nah, guy-wire frayed at the end.
Even then the %1 had all the best toys....
No you are not and this chick would fill the hose with lead shot first.
http://www.seanpaune.com/2009/03/27/vince-shlomi-the-shamwow-guy-arrested-for-beating-a-hooker/
I doubt that is the worst place he had his mouth.
This is not what 1J was hoping for when he Googled “boy takes balls to the face”.
Two fireman are butt-fucking in a smoke filled room.
The chief walks in and screams "what the hell is going on in here?"
one of the fireman says "this man has smoke inhalation"
"then he need mouth to mouths" says the chief
the fireman replies, "how you think this shit got started?"
The chief walks in and screams "what the hell is going on in here?"
one of the fireman says "this man has smoke inhalation"
"then he need mouth to mouths" says the chief
the fireman replies, "how you think this shit got started?"
Thanks for the kind words. For the record hunting and camping with Powdahound76, is awesome as he cups the balls just right and never tells anyone.
But really, he's the best Redneck, dirtbag somamabitch around.
Prick. What happens in the camper stays in the camper.
Next you will be telling them about the wicked runs I had in the camper toilet.......... Surprised I could go hunting the next AM.
The redneck and dirtbag tags I won't argue a lot about.......
Next you will be telling them about the wicked runs I had in the camper toilet.......... Surprised I could go hunting the next AM.
The redneck and dirtbag tags I won't argue a lot about.......
A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the wife said "I bet you can't tell me something which will make me happy and sad at the same time".
The husband thought for a few moments, then said "Your pussy is tighter than your sister's".
The husband thought for a few moments, then said "Your pussy is tighter than your sister's".
A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked for her occupation she said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court".
He smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not run a red light' five hundred times".
He smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not run a red light' five hundred times".
An elderly lady walks into a sex shop, shaking as though she has Parkinson's.
She walks up to the counter and says to the assistant "Young maaaan, have you got a viiiibraaaatoor?"
He's a bit taken aback and not sure if her heard her correctly because of her shaky voice, but he picks out a modest sized model and places it on the counter.
"Nooooo, biiigger thaaan thaaat!" So he brings her the next size up "Noooooo, noooo, biiiigger thaaan thaaaat!"
This happens a few times until finally he places the biggest vibrator in the entire shop on the counter. It's eighteen inches long with a girth that would make ANYONES eyes water.
"Yeeeees, yeeeees, thaaaat's the one. Hoooow do you tuuuurn it off?"
She walks up to the counter and says to the assistant "Young maaaan, have you got a viiiibraaaatoor?"
He's a bit taken aback and not sure if her heard her correctly because of her shaky voice, but he picks out a modest sized model and places it on the counter.
"Nooooo, biiigger thaaan thaaat!" So he brings her the next size up "Noooooo, noooo, biiiigger thaaan thaaaat!"
This happens a few times until finally he places the biggest vibrator in the entire shop on the counter. It's eighteen inches long with a girth that would make ANYONES eyes water.
"Yeeeees, yeeeees, thaaaat's the one. Hoooow do you tuuuurn it off?"
A man escapes from the jail where he has been for fourteen years.
He breaks into a house to look for food, clothes, money, car and maybe guns. He goes to the bedroom and finds a new married young couple in bed.
He shouts to the young husband out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the wife to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While convict is in there, the husband tells his wife "Listen honey, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his weird face and clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and has not seen a woman for years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't fight back, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. This man is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong darling. I love you".
After that his wife responds "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were nice and cute, and asked me if we had any moisturiser or lube. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong darling. I love you too!"
He breaks into a house to look for food, clothes, money, car and maybe guns. He goes to the bedroom and finds a new married young couple in bed.
He shouts to the young husband out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the wife to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While convict is in there, the husband tells his wife "Listen honey, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his weird face and clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and has not seen a woman for years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't fight back, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. This man is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong darling. I love you".
After that his wife responds "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were nice and cute, and asked me if we had any moisturiser or lube. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong darling. I love you too!"
Unless he is talking about the massive .72 caliber October Country muzzleloading rifle and swaging the balls for the gun out of lead bar stock himself
(BTW that thing can generate up to 4000 foot-pounds of energy and comes in single or double barrel)
@sirhrmechanic
No.
@Claymorx is just a little pissy about a few of the “small rises” I told him we should go up in search of elk.
Something about not being ready for waist deep snow (we skipped the backcountry camping part of our hunt as the snow was crazy deep) and not prepared to climb a mtn steeper than Everest......
There was a lot of grumpiness on his part.
1st and 2nd toe on my L foot got frostnip one day. Took about 6 weeks to feel normal.
Plus Claymore has a darn good looking wife at home. Smart and she shoots darn good too.
We do bust each other like no tomorrow though.
No.
@Claymorx is just a little pissy about a few of the “small rises” I told him we should go up in search of elk.
Something about not being ready for waist deep snow (we skipped the backcountry camping part of our hunt as the snow was crazy deep) and not prepared to climb a mtn steeper than Everest......
There was a lot of grumpiness on his part.
1st and 2nd toe on my L foot got frostnip one day. Took about 6 weeks to feel normal.
Plus Claymore has a darn good looking wife at home. Smart and she shoots darn good too.
We do bust each other like no tomorrow though.
Probably should have put this in the abortion thread.
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