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Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor
- Thread starter Duc
- Start date
Skeletor, just need He-man and Battle Cat to round out the entire night.
I was sitting at gate waiting on delay when I received this and proceeded to have tears streaming down my cheeks was gasping for air
Does that count as a PSA for court ordered community service, asking for a friend...lol
A week after John bought a bull, he complained to his friend "All that bull does is eat
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Two deer were walking out of a gay bar............
One deer talking to the other "Wow, I must of blown 30 bucks in that joint!"
One deer talking to the other "Wow, I must of blown 30 bucks in that joint!"
While not "Bunnies", those of you in the know will know just how accurate this is for one of our own.....................................
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I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,"If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied....
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said.."I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
![[IMG]](https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/f91/1.5/16/1f918.png "[IMG]")
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked,"If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied....
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said.."I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
I have had 2 hernia surgeries, both times the surgeon was a very attractive woman. The examinations are entertaining. The last hernia I was in the operating room on the table after the pre-op shot but before the anesthesiologist knocked me out. I was just laying there butt naked with my eyes closed listening to 2 women talk about their vacations and husbands. At the time I was really into power lifting (probably caused the hernia) and had a big legs. One of the women walked over and patted my thigh and said "this one has a lot of muscles". I said "Thank you for noticing". It was painfully quiet in the room until the anesthesiologist came in. During the 2 week post-op check up I asked the surgeon who patted me on the thigh in the operating room. She turned red and said "you remember that?"
The russian responds: "This is your first problem: You're so easily
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Back before Jimmy Kimmel sold his soul to the Leftists and became a bitch!
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