Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor
- Thread starter Duc
- Start date
Sounds like it is for the sake of someone, in this case, that someone is "fuck". Since possesive, im going with "for fuck's sake", but I suck at grammar!
12 more to get into an argument about the difference between 'lumens' and 'watts'. Then there's the whole 'Kelvin' spectrum discussion.
How many thread-starters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one (1).
To stand there and hold the bulb, whilst he waits for the world to rotate around him.
You sayin’ that PPB’s back ?12 more to get into an argument about the difference between 'lumens' and 'watts'. Then there's the whole 'Kelvin' spectrum discussion.
How many thread-starters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one (1).
To stand there and hold the bulb, whilst he waits for the world to rotate around him.
You couldn't have gotten any luckier then for a new Manager!!!! Rock on Brother!!
Reminds me:12 more to get into an argument about the difference between 'lumens' and 'watts'. Then there's the whole 'Kelvin' spectrum discussion.
How many thread-starters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one (1).
To stand there and hold the bulb, whilst he waits for the world to rotate around him.
How many engineers to twist in a light bulb?
43001.
1 to hold the bulb, 43000 to spin the building!
I never understood that though, cause the guy standing would be turning too, unless he is floating in a vacuum sealed ball by the light socket. I would think the spinning of the air around the vacuum ball would cause the vacuum ball itself to spin too. Then some one would have to count the threads on the bulb, because you would want the building to be back to the original spot. However, if you don't get the bulb in far enough, the contact at the bottom of the socket wouldn't touch. Let's not even get into the other utilities, columns, deep footings, etc. Then there is recompacting the soil properly, etc, etc, etc. Who supports the bottom side, where does one grab? Beside who puts bulbs in now.....everyone uses LED and they are supposed to last 50,000 hours. This joke was clearly not thought out....AT ALL!
Section 21-2800 of the project manual states the foundation is to remain in place during lightbulb replacement. Means and methods are up to the contractor, but a submittal and mock-up is required.
A guy at one of the local HVAC supply shops asked me about going hunting with me next year.
With a straight face I asked him if he woke up with a greasy sore ass if he would tell anyone?
He looked around at everyone and walked away.
It's fun to mess with the new guy.
With a straight face I asked him if he woke up with a greasy sore ass if he would tell anyone?
He looked around at everyone and walked away.
It's fun to mess with the new guy.
So, this polish dude meets a woman at the bar. They talk and dance, dance and talk, into the wee hours of the morning. Woman feels things are going great and says to the guy, " would you like to come back to my place"? The guy says yes. Woman says " I have to be upfront with you, I'm on my menstrual cycle", guy says " no problem, I'm on my moped, I'll follow you".
I went to the doctor and he told me "Don't eat anything fatty".
I asked "What like pizzas or burgers?"
He replied: "No. Just don't eat anything you fat bastard"
I asked "What like pizzas or burgers?"
He replied: "No. Just don't eat anything you fat bastard"
Two police officers responding to a domestic disturbance with shots fired arrive on scene.
After discovering the wife had shot her husband for walking across her freshly mopped floor, they call their sergeant on his cell phone. "Hello, Sarge" "Yes" "It looks like we have a homicide here".
"What happened?"
"A woman has shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped".
"Have you placed her under arrest?"
"No sir. The floor is still wet"
After discovering the wife had shot her husband for walking across her freshly mopped floor, they call their sergeant on his cell phone. "Hello, Sarge" "Yes" "It looks like we have a homicide here".
"What happened?"
"A woman has shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped".
"Have you placed her under arrest?"
"No sir. The floor is still wet"
Recently leaked documents from the Vatican have shown why the Catholic Church is protecting paedophiles.
Apparently, the last time they shunned a child molester, he started Islam
Apparently, the last time they shunned a child molester, he started Islam
My friend just phoned and asked me if I could loan her $500 to help her pay her rent. And you know me always willing to help my friends and family out. I told her "Give me a minute let me check my account and I'll phone u right back".
Before I could check my account, my friend's mum phones and says "Don't give her any money because she's lying". Mum proceeds to tell me that she wants to use that $500 to get her boyfriend out of jail because she wants to be under the same roof with him for her birthday!!
So, I thought about it for a minute and decided to go ahead and give her the $500 because we all need help at times.
So I phoned her back and said "Yea, I can help you" and met her and gave her an envelope of cash.
A couple hours later, I got a call from the County Jail, I say "Hello?" and she starts screaming and asking "Why did you give me counterfeit money?!"
I replied "So you and your boyfriend would be under the same roof for your birthday!!"
Before I could check my account, my friend's mum phones and says "Don't give her any money because she's lying". Mum proceeds to tell me that she wants to use that $500 to get her boyfriend out of jail because she wants to be under the same roof with him for her birthday!!
So, I thought about it for a minute and decided to go ahead and give her the $500 because we all need help at times.
So I phoned her back and said "Yea, I can help you" and met her and gave her an envelope of cash.
A couple hours later, I got a call from the County Jail, I say "Hello?" and she starts screaming and asking "Why did you give me counterfeit money?!"
I replied "So you and your boyfriend would be under the same roof for your birthday!!"
Similar threads
