What is the first thing a battered wife does when she gets home from hospital?
Dinner and the laundry if she's got any sense.
Dinner and the laundry if she's got any sense.
Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor
- Thread starter Duc
- Start date
A husband and wife were vacationing in when they decided to go out on a charter fishing boat.
A large wave washed her overboard where she disappeared immediately.
The Coast Guard were called out for the search and the husband went back to his hotel to await the outcome. Six hours later a CG officer calls on the man at the hotel. "Sir, we dragged the bottom and managed to snag your wife's body, when we pulled her up there were 12 huge king crabs attached to her feeding on her body. But we do have some good news".
"Good news!? What kind of good news could there be!?"
"Well sir... we're pulling her up again tomorrow".
--
A large wave washed her overboard where she disappeared immediately.
The Coast Guard were called out for the search and the husband went back to his hotel to await the outcome. Six hours later a CG officer calls on the man at the hotel. "Sir, we dragged the bottom and managed to snag your wife's body, when we pulled her up there were 12 huge king crabs attached to her feeding on her body. But we do have some good news".
"Good news!? What kind of good news could there be!?"
"Well sir... we're pulling her up again tomorrow".
--
An elderly couple was attending church services.
About halfway through she leans over and says to her husband.
"I just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?"
He replies "Put a new battery in your hearing aid"
About halfway through she leans over and says to her husband.
"I just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?"
He replies "Put a new battery in your hearing aid"
Now that is funny! Brings back a funny comment (not entirely related, but possibly unacceptable, and keeping in the spirit of poking fun at ourselves)-at least to me-I made at my mother's funeral a few years back. Many cholos and cholas were attendance. Most I had not seen in years. Just before the service began, our Pastor asked me as we stood in the Narthex if there was anything I would like him to mention about her. I said sure, she was a deputy sheriff and had a dry sense of humor and she would think it would be funny if after the service he asked everyone to remain seated as agents from INS would be checking citizenship status. The look Padre gave me was priceless! I quickly added that everyone there was in fact born in the U.S. but those pendejos would all probably run for the closest exit! Another priceless look!
I hope to have a drink with her again someday before the good Lord tells me there is no vacancy for the likes of me.
GF works as a nurse. County sends a guy in with rectal tears. He explains he's not gay but was trading it for cigarettes.
Treated and released back to county. Doctors after care instructions... "Quit smoking"
Treated and released back to county. Doctors after care instructions... "Quit smoking"
Q: What was Stephen Hawking's most hated form of comedy?
A: Stand-up
A: Stand-up
oh I thought this was the motivational page not sure why but this is very motivational at least to me and me it was
12'' heals and girls dancing always a good time , add in poles and its just magical it should be an Olympic sport to hell with curling and badminton . lol . But either way I guess in inappropriate humor , and still fun to watch .
12'' heals and girls dancing always a good time , add in poles and its just magical it should be an Olympic sport to hell with curling and badminton .
lol . But either way I guess in inappropriate humor , and still fun to watch .
Banged some Japanese broad the other night and now my dick is all blurry
I know right? These silly uncultured folk I tell you
It reminded me of that joke...
The other day I was on the bus and this hot asian chick in a miniskirt got on
I kept say "dont get hard...dont get hard..."
Then she did
The other day I was on the bus and this hot asian chick in a miniskirt got on
I kept say "dont get hard...dont get hard..."
Then she did
oh I thought this was the motivational page not sure why but this is very motivational at least to me and me it was
12'' heals and girls dancing always a good time , add in poles and its just magical it should be an Olympic sport to hell with curling and badminton .
Is pole dancing an Olympic sport?
Pole Dancing is Now an Official Sport, And May Reach the Olympics. Everything you know about “sports” is changing. The days of team competition like football and basketball exclusively holding that title are no more. Instead, you'll see breakdancing at the 2024 Olympic Games in Paris
Aaaand, just like that, I'm into midget porn.
Even as low class we are in Cleveland, I don't think they would want her showing those titties around.
And to think that many many moons ago those titties looked just fine, a long time passed. Father Time is kind to no one.
Don't ask me how I know but she never lets them out now.
Don't ask me how I know but she never lets them out now.
The leftist groups, ANTIFA, DSA, etc... are currently trying their hardest to make a certain Afro-Cuban breakdance in a Hawaiian tune the national sport across America...
Well if shooting can be an Olympic sport, I reckon how about Olympic stabbing.
You know, line up some paedophiles, whoever bayonets the giblets out of the most kiddy-fiddlers in a set time wins.
Now that's a sport I could really get into.
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Just had a thought
If two opposing teams of 3 or 4 people arguing a point is called a debate, then ipso facto a whole chamber full of politicians divided into two sides arguing a point would have to be a mass debate, right?
If two opposing teams of 3 or 4 people arguing a point is called a debate, then ipso facto a whole chamber full of politicians divided into two sides arguing a point would have to be a mass debate, right?
I'm too full of newly polished moonshine to give a hobo's foreskin that this may not be the thread to post this in and it's not worthy of a thread of it's own, but I felt the urge to share my amused contempt for the politically correct, "woke", motherfuckers who slime their way among us.
As exemplified by those in the article below.
Anti-racism protesters mistakenly topple statue of anti-slavery activist
www.abc.net.au
As exemplified by those in the article below.
Anti-racism protesters mistakenly topple statue of anti-slavery activist
Anti-racism protesters mistakenly topple statue of anti-slavery activist
In an embarrassing moment, anti-racism protesters tear down a statue of a Civil War colonel who tried to stop slavery.
www.abc.net.au
What's "relative humidity"?
The sweat on a hillbilly's back when he's fucking his mama.
The sweat on a hillbilly's back when he's fucking his mama.
And they would be mass debaters.Just had a thought
If two opposing teams of 3 or 4 people arguing a point is called a debate, then ipso facto a whole chamber full of politicians divided into two sides arguing a point would have to be a mass debate, right?
Yes siree, Jscb1b, they would.
Never yet in my career as a humming-bean have I seen a politician that wasn't a mass debater.
Except for the late great Gough Whitlam.
In my humble opinion, the best we here in Oz have yet produced.
Never yet in my career as a humming-bean have I seen a politician that wasn't a mass debater.
Except for the late great Gough Whitlam.
In my humble opinion, the best we here in Oz have yet produced.
Never yet in my career as a humming-bean have I seen a politician that wasn't a mass debater.
Except for the late great Gough Whitlam.
In my humble opinion, the best we here in Oz have yet produced.
Yes siree, Jscb1b, they would.
Never yet in my career as a humming-bean have I seen a politician that wasn't a mass debater.
Except for the late great Gough Whitlam.
In my humble opinion, the best we here in Oz have yet produced.
A group of whales is called a pod.
A group of geese is called a gaggle.
A group of lions is called a pride.
A group of baboons is called a congress.
I was at this wedding, and I said to the bloke next to me "Fucking hell, that bride is ugly".
"Do you mind? That's my daughter!" came the reply.
I said "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were her father".
"I'm not, I'm her mother
"Do you mind? That's my daughter!" came the reply.
I said "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were her father".
"I'm not, I'm her mother
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