Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor

[Decoy]

What did Krista say to her husband before she boarded her flight?

Honey you feed the dog and I'll feed the fish.


She did have blue eyes......one blue that way and the the other blue this way

 

[Geno C.]

What did Krista say to her husband before she boarded her flight?

Honey you feed the dog and I'll feed the fish.


She did have blue eyes......one blue that way and the the other blue this way

Where does Krista go on vacation?

All across Florida!

 

[hermosabeach]

[No message]

 

[Decoy]

Got to go to Portland tonight so I wanted to know if anyone could clear something up for me?



If you force sex on a prostitute, is it rape or shoplifting???

 

[1J04]

Got to go to Portland tonight so I wanted to know if anyone could clear something up for me?



If you force sex on a prostitute, is it rape or shoplifting???

If you "snuff" it out it doesn't even matter does it?

 

[Decoy]

If you "snuff" it out it doesn't even matter does it?

No you are correct as usual! I guess I just need a new girl friend, the old one escaped some how

 

[1J04]

No you are correct as usual! I guess I just need a new girl friend, the old one escaped some how

Double Cinch Knot is your friend..........

 

[sirhrmechanic]

Double Cinch Knot is your friend..........

Listen to him... He was in the Navy. They know how to show a woman a good time!

Cheers,

Sirhr

 

[sirhrmechanic]

 

[168BTHPM]

Listen to him... He was in the Navy. They know how to show a woman a good time!

Cheers,

Sirhr

 

[Decoy]

Two midgets go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms. The first midget, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is enhanced by the fact that, from the next room, he hears cries of, "ONE, TWO, THREE...UUH!" all night long. In the morning, the second midget asks the first, "How did it go?" The first whispered back, "It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't get a hard-on." The second midget shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?" he asked. "I couldn't even get on the fucking bed"

 

[Tucker301]

 

[1J04]

 

[1J04]

 

[168BTHPM]

[IMG2=JSON]{"alt":"Image result for hairy beaver meme","data-align":"none","data-size":"full","height":"417","width":"500","src":"https:\/\/pics.onsizzle.com\/google-cute-chick-with-hairy-pussy-a-press-enter-to-17952421.png"}[/IMG2]

 

[sirhrmechanic]

 

[Threadcutter308]

Looks like Cloris Leachman has put on a few pounds..........

(Now where'd I put that brain brillo ?.......)

 

[168BTHPM]

She'll suck your dick for a cup of coffee.

<iframe width="640" height="360" src="https://www.liveleak.com/ll_embed?f=9a6ec7b387be" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

 

[Sean the Nailer]

Where does Krista go on vacation?

All across Florida!

I heard that she had clean hair with no dandruff, because they found her Head and Shoulders on the beach!

Ya'll know what NASA stands for, right? Need Another Seven Astronauts!

How many astronauts can you fit in a Volkswagen beetle? 12, 2 in the front seats, 3 in the back seats, and 7 in the ashtray!

Ba-dum-tssssshhhhh

Tip your waitresses, I'm hear all week, try the ribs.

 

[1J04]

 

[Threadcutter308]

Thank god that fucked up city has seceded from the state.

<iframe src="https://giphy.com/embed/RCIQVfI1bsySQ" width="480" height="320" frameBorder="0" class="giphy-embed" allowFullScreen></iframe><p><a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/seahawks-seattle-RCIQVfI1bsySQ">via GIPHY</a></p>




<iframe src="https://giphy.com/embed/JekxQq1tzXAis" width="480" height="300" frameBorder="0" class="giphy-embed" allowFullScreen></iframe><p><a href="https://giphy.com/gifs/mlb-mlb-kingdome-seatlle-mariners-JekxQq1tzXAis">via GIPHY</a></p>

Except that it hasnt, unfortunately......Seattle is the tail that pretty much wags the Washington dog. I cant remember the last time I made the conscious effort to venture into downtown Seattle. Nothing there for me, no reason to go....

 

[1J04]

Except that it hasnt, unfortunately......Seattle is the tail that pretty much wags the Washington dog. I cant remember the last time I made the conscious effort to venture into downtown Seattle. Nothing there for me, no reason to go....

Agreed, and no. I honestly can' t remember the last time I was within 100 miles of the place. I'm good with that.

 

[sirhrmechanic]

For you LL Bean outdoorsy types... don't tell me that you haven't thought about it....

 

[168BTHPM]

[IMG2=JSON]{"alt":"Image result for rectum meme","data-align":"none","data-size":"full","height":"628","width":"478","src":"http:\/\/s2.quickmeme.com\/img\/85\/85a14082217fda91048e70a6fc480c99413d68d14a14c7ba4b3b32c3c974fb2b.jpg"}[/IMG2]
[IMG2=JSON]{"alt":"Image result for rectum meme","data-align":"none","data-size":"full","height":"538","width":"656","src":"https:\/\/img.memecdn.com\/buzz-lightyear-to-the-rectum_o_2580701.jpg"}[/IMG2]

 

[1J04]

too soon?

 

[MtnCreek]

 

[sirhrmechanic]

 

[168BTHPM]

[IMG2=JSON]{"alt":"Image result for flood meme","data-align":"none","data-size":"full","height":"480","width":"492","src":"http:\/\/media2.abcactionnews.com\/photo\/2015\/08\/03\/car_1438616790721_22219760_ver1.0_640_480.jpg"}[/IMG2]

 

[168BTHPM]

[IMG2=JSON]{"alt":"Image result for flood meme","data-align":"none","data-size":"full","height":"282","width":"410","src":"http:\/\/cdn.ebaumsworld.com\/mediaFiles\/picture\/16732\/697562.jpg"}[/IMG2]
[IMG2=JSON]{"alt":"Image result for flood meme","data-align":"none","data-size":"full","height":"433","width":"400","src":"https:\/\/pics.me.me\/605202294901207042-Twitter.png"}[/IMG2]

 

[168BTHPM]

<iframe width="640" height="360" src="https://www.liveleak.com/ll_embed?f=088d36db60a3" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

 

[aac_shooter]

[No message]

 

[Barneybdb]

 

[Barneybdb]

 

[Barneybdb]

Is that where chicken comes from?

 

[Veer_G]

Chinese chittlin's ...

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/2NMrqGHr5zE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/GyeUyb7jGtY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

 

[Barneybdb]

 

[Threadcutter308]

Jesus.......that's gotta be worth 20 or 30 bucks entertainment value. Particularly if you don't mind your tires being slashed.

 

[MtnCreek]

Worth $500 if the baby sitter's hot and you get to fuck her to not turning her in for losing the kid.

edit. But you wouldn't have to pay her under those circumstances anyway... Mind turning...

 

[sirhrmechanic]

This just in: BLM has headed to Houston in order to rescue jewelry and electronics!

Cheers,

Sirhr

 

[sirhrmechanic]

 

[2ndamendfan]

BLM= Being Lazy Matters. Use that and it makes alot more sense.

 

[1J04]

Worth $500 if the baby sitter's hot and you get to fuck her to not turning her in for losing the kid.

edit. But you wouldn't have to pay her under those circumstances anyway... Mind turning...

 

[1J04]

 

[sirhrmechanic]

 

[1J04]

 

[168BTHPM]

Public Service Announcement

For those of you new to the internet, here are a few things you should never ever search in Google Pictures.

For those of you who let your curiosity get the better of them, you have been warned.

1) Clock Spider
2) Soggy Biscuit
3) Trypophobia
4) Circle Jerk
5) Blue Waffle
6) Ascariasis
7) Skin Condition
8) 2 Girls 1 Cup
9) Mucus Plug
10) Peanut Dog
11) Bedbugs On Mattress
12) Spider Porn
13) Lamprey Eel
14) Crabs the STD
15) 2 Kids 1 Sandbox
16) Meatspin
17) 4 Girls Fingerpaint
18) Tub Girl (1J04's personal favorite)
19) Eel Girls
20) Pain Olympics

 

[Dirty D]

I tricked a guy into watching #18 about 10 years ago, he is still mad at me.

 

[DuneBoer]

Public Service Announcement

For those of you new to the internet, here are a few things you should never ever search in Google Pictures.

For those of you who let your curiosity get the better of them, you have been warned.

1) Clock Spider
2) Soggy Biscuit
3) Trypophobia
4) Circle Jerk
5) Blue Waffle
6) Ascariasis
7) Skin Condition
8) 2 Girls 1 Cup
9) Mucus Plug
10) Peanut Dog
11) Bedbugs On Mattress
12) Spider Porn
13) Lamprey Eel
14) Crabs the STD
15) 2 Kids 1 Sandbox
16) Meatspin
17) 4 Girls Fingerpaint
18) Tub Girl (1J04's personal favorite)
19) Eel Girls
20) Pain Olympics

I see "Lemon Party" did not make the list. This really scares me. I have curiosity about "Mucous Plug" but it will have to go uninvestigated for now.

 

[Dirty D]

I see "Lemon Party" did not make the list. This really scares me. I have curiosity about "Mucous Plug" but it will have to go uninvestigated for now.

You should check it out, would Dirty D steer a guy wrong?

 

[1J04]

I see "Lemon Party" did not make the list. This really scares me. I have curiosity about "Mucous Plug" but it will have to go uninvestigated for now.

Ya I'm thinking kinda the same. I'm kinda leaning between "Mucous Plug" and "Skin Condition". Tub Girl. Ha. I mightta thought about it. So what.