Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor

Ya I'm thinking kinda the same. I'm kinda leaning between "Mucous Plug" and "Skin Condition". Tub Girl. Ha. I mightta thought about it. So what.:eek:

Okay, if you won't google the first list try these.

1) Ballcuzi
2) Kentucky Klondike Bar
3) Panamanian Petting Zoo
4) Alabama Hot Pocket
5) Kennebunkport Surprise
6) Rusty Trombone
7) Eskimo Trebuchet
8) Mexican Pancake
9) Zombie Mask
 
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My rescue team was just demobed from Katy Texas. We saw a lot of that and more. Boating up to houses and people BBQ on the front in 4' water on the porch and house and they offer us a beer. Hahahaha some of it was surreal
 
Okay, which one of you guys is she screaming at?

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Dear Friends,

I have the distinguished honor of being a member of the Committee to raise $50,000,000 for a monument to Hillary R. Clinton.

We originally wanted to put her on Mt. Rushmore until we discovered there was not enough room for her two faces.

We then decided to erect a statue of Hillary in the Washington, D.C. Hall of Fame.

We were in a quandary as to where the statue should be placed. It was not proper to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who never told a lie, nor beside Barack Obama, who never told the truth, because frankly, Hillary never could tell the difference.

We finally decided to place it beside Christopher Columbus, the greatest Democrat of them all. He left not knowing where he was going, and when he got there he did not know where he was. He returned not knowing where he had been, and did it all on someone else's money .. magnificent to say the least!

Thank you,

The Hillary R. Clinton Monument Committee


P.S.

The Committee has raised $2.16 so far.

Actually, somebody donated $1,000,000 but did it thru the Clinton Foundation. The Foundation sent the $2.16 on to us with the Clinton family keeping the balance for "administrative expenses".
 
My wife and I went on our honeymoon to Australia. Unfortunately, I had to dial the help line.

"G'day this is Tim, you've reached the Aussie help line. How can we help ya?"

I told him "We were in the ocean and my wife was stung by a jellyfish on her lady parts. Her vagina is completely swollen shut. It's our honeymoon, and well... ya know".

The guy on the help line replies "Ah, bummer mate!"

I say "I hadn't thought of that! Thanks for the advice. You've saved my honeymoon!"
 
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Duneboer's post reminded me... My former college roommate, and my prim and proper mother got into this April fools rivalry where each year, they would try and out-trick each other. Room mate called my Mom and apologized for all the past pranks, and to make up to her, he asked if he could bring by some VHS tapes for new movies, and Chinese food that mom, dad, and roommate would share while they watched the movies.

So he shares dinner while they watch a movie, and another movie after dinner. Roommate says he has to work the next day, leaves the rest of the Chinese food, and asks my Mom if she can drop the remaining videos off at the local video store the next day. Mom says sure.

The next morning Mom gets up and goes to make coffee. While waiting for the coffee to brew, she figures she would put the movie called something like "Fat Cats" in and let it run through credits while coffee is brewing. The joke there is that he used to refer to my folks as "fat cats from the big city". Anyhow, Mom waits in the kitchen while coffee brews, then brings her coffee into the living room to discover........"Fat Cats" was a porno movie about giant 450 pound people going at it. Mom was horrified, and REALLY pissed off. She called me to complain about it, and I think people in the next county heard me laughing. That was 30 years ago, and I still remember how pissed she was and how funny it was. That ended the April fools competition by the way.
 
Tried to catch a Salmon in the river using weighted spinner's. Damn river is full of weeds. Spinner gets plugged with crap on every cast. :mad: Might as well enjoy a science experiment. :rolleyes:



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Yah, sure a talking machine. That's what he told his wife when she caught him building it in the garage.

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You bored today?




Worky worky. Rod Run Weekend and just sitting here enjoying the sights, sounds, and smells of incarceration. ;) Staring at my Monitors and wishing I was outside enjoying this fine PNW day.

Just a hint of Capsicum remains in the air at this time. Seems to be a good year as well. Possibly a Vintage 2012 I believe. :p