Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor
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So politically incorrect, so correct in classification.
“The Spanish banged the Indians and made the Mexicans.”
Frank Reynolds (Played by Danny Devito) -Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
Frank Reynolds (Played by Danny Devito) -Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
It sounds like a joke, but in Mexico as in the Philippines, there is actually a bit of a class system and the more Spanish blood you have in you, the more you look down on others.
It's even more complex than that in the PI. You got the Chinese influence to deal with as well, and then there's the Negritos.
I didn't have as much experience with those groups when I was in the PI, mostly just the run of the mill folk, then those that liked to refer to themselves as Spanish and then every once in awhile ran into overly beautiful women who were 1/2 "Spanish" and 1/2 American.
What do a fat chick and a brick have in common????
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Sooner or later, both will be laid by a Mexican....
Cheers,
Sirhr
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Sooner or later, both will be laid by a Mexican....
Cheers,
Sirhr
I'll never fully heal from that abuse.
I'm sure the tattoo artist threw himself off a bridge after completing that.
I don't care how much they were paid, I still pity whoever had to ink that tattoo on that ass.
I don’t think I could reach if you know what I mean
The original butterfly was 4 inches across. Then she went all out on the soda and snacky cakes
Now that on the other hand, I could totally reach
Actually, the original ink was a caterpillar
Hell I thought he did it with an airless sprayer and a jackhammer!
The tatt artist did it when she was 18. It was only a softball size then. Plus maybe she gave good head.
What started out as a butterfly with the wingspan of a pigeon, now has the wingspan of a Condor.
Alright, who left that glorious ass out in a hailstorm?
A man was about to have a brain transplant.
The doctor offered him a choice of three different brains: an American brain (for $10,000), a Chinese brain (for $50,000) and a Haitian brain (for $1,000,000)
He asked the doctor:
"Why is the Haitian brain so expensive?"
The doctor replied "Because its never been used...."
The doctor offered him a choice of three different brains: an American brain (for $10,000), a Chinese brain (for $50,000) and a Haitian brain (for $1,000,000)
He asked the doctor:
"Why is the Haitian brain so expensive?"
The doctor replied "Because its never been used...."
Q: What do David Carradine, Robin Williams, and Anthony Bourdain have in common?
A: They all knew the best hangout spots.
A: They all knew the best hangout spots.
Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant "Steve's Place" and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.
It seemed a little strange.
When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.
Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired "Why the spoon?"
"Well" he explained "the restaurant's owner hired a consulting company to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.
"If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift".
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now".
I was impressed.
I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly.
Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies.
So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"
"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom.
By tying this string to the tip of our
you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.
I asked quietly "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"
"Well" he whispered "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon"
It seemed a little strange.
When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.
Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired "Why the spoon?"
"Well" he explained "the restaurant's owner hired a consulting company to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.
"If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift".
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now".
I was impressed.
I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly.
Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies.
So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"
"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom.
By tying this string to the tip of our
you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.
I asked quietly "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"
"Well" he whispered "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon"
No wonder the squirrels around 1J04's house are so well fed.
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