Hillary's health seems to be improving, she was just spotted riding a bike;
(Lifted from G/P, which lifted it from Twitter).
(Lifted from G/P, which lifted it from Twitter).
Last edited:
Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor
- Thread starter Duc
- Start date
Honestly, I’ve gotten annoyed when people have referred to my cat as a she, only because I felt like they were fagging him out. But this whole “how dare you” thing is ridiculous. If chicks want to embrace not looking like chicks, some are gonna be called dudes. Oh and there are only 2 genders, and I refuse to play that game of gender spectrum
^^^ That's funny right there... and I got my first scars as a kid... exactly that way!
Cheers,
Sirhr
Cheers,
Sirhr
A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"
"No", he replies,"I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it.." The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What"s so special about it?"
The cowboy explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically." The lady says, "What"s it telling you now?" Well, it says you're not wearing any panties." The woman giggles and replies "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!" The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says, "Damn thing's an hour fast."
"No", he replies,"I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it.." The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What"s so special about it?"
The cowboy explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically." The lady says, "What"s it telling you now?" Well, it says you're not wearing any panties." The woman giggles and replies "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!" The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says, "Damn thing's an hour fast."
A woman walked into the bar. She was the ugliest thing you have ever seen. Sweaty, covered in spots and smelling of piss. She also had the hairiest armpits you have ever seen. Suddenly she raised her arm, hairs sticking out of her armpit, and said "What man out there will buy a woman a drink?"
Everyone ignored her apart from a little drunken guy in the corner. "Bartender!" the guy shouted "I will buy that ballerina a drink!"
The bartender gives the woman a whiskey and she knocks it back in one gulp. Instantly, she raises her arm again, hairs sticking out of her smelly armpit, points at all the men and again says "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
Again the little drunken guy says "Bartender, buy that ballerina another drink!"
The barman gives another whiskey to the ugly woman and then turns to the little drunken guy and says "I know it's none of my business if you want to buy a lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her a ballerina?"
"Sir" replied the drunk "any woman who can lift her leg up that high has to be a ballerina!"
Everyone ignored her apart from a little drunken guy in the corner. "Bartender!" the guy shouted "I will buy that ballerina a drink!"
The bartender gives the woman a whiskey and she knocks it back in one gulp. Instantly, she raises her arm again, hairs sticking out of her smelly armpit, points at all the men and again says "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
Again the little drunken guy says "Bartender, buy that ballerina another drink!"
The barman gives another whiskey to the ugly woman and then turns to the little drunken guy and says "I know it's none of my business if you want to buy a lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her a ballerina?"
"Sir" replied the drunk "any woman who can lift her leg up that high has to be a ballerina!"
Read that one a few pages back, but still one of the best semi clean jokes I’ve ever heard
The manager of a liquor store gets a midnight phone call at home:
"Hello!" "At what time does the store open?"
"At ten o'clock sir".
At two in the morning, the phone rings again: "HELLO!"
"Ya (burp), at what time does, the store open?"
"AT TEN IN THE MORNING, sir".
Again, at four, the phone rings: "H!E!L!L!O!" "Ya, euh, (burp), at ...time, euh, does the euh store open?"
"At ten in the morning sir, but I am not sure, since you are so drunk, that I will let you in".
"I (burp) don't want, euh, to get in, euh, I want to get out!"
"Hello!" "At what time does the store open?"
"At ten o'clock sir".
At two in the morning, the phone rings again: "HELLO!"
"Ya (burp), at what time does, the store open?"
"AT TEN IN THE MORNING, sir".
Again, at four, the phone rings: "H!E!L!L!O!" "Ya, euh, (burp), at ...time, euh, does the euh store open?"
"At ten in the morning sir, but I am not sure, since you are so drunk, that I will let you in".
"I (burp) don't want, euh, to get in, euh, I want to get out!"
2 cowboys talking about sex. 1 cowboy says "I like the rodeo position !"
"I haven't heard of that ... " says the other cowboy, "what is it ?"
"Well get your girlfriend down on all fours and mount her from behind. Then reach round and cup both of her breasts and whisper "these feel just like your sisters" and try and hold on for 8 seconds !"
"I haven't heard of that ... " says the other cowboy, "what is it ?"
"Well get your girlfriend down on all fours and mount her from behind. Then reach round and cup both of her breasts and whisper "these feel just like your sisters" and try and hold on for 8 seconds !"
Would you love your cat less if he were queer?
Me: "What's the Wi-Fi password?"
Bartender: "You need to buy a drink first".
Me: "Okay, I'll have a coke".
Bartender: "Is Pepsi okay?"
Me: Sure. "How much is that?"
Bartender: "$3"
Me: "There you go. So what's the Wi-Fi password?"
Bartender: "You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase".
Bartender: "You need to buy a drink first".
Me: "Okay, I'll have a coke".
Bartender: "Is Pepsi okay?"
Me: Sure. "How much is that?"
Bartender: "$3"
Me: "There you go. So what's the Wi-Fi password?"
Bartender: "You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase".
--
A recent article in the San Francisco Examiner reported that Nancy Pelosi has sued Stanford Hospital saying that "after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex".
A hospital spokesman replied "Your husband was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight".
--
A recent article in the San Francisco Examiner reported that Nancy Pelosi has sued Stanford Hospital saying that "after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex".
A hospital spokesman replied "Your husband was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight".
--
Not the best but not the worst pic of me.
I'm trying my best not to think about your flying avicock being grafted onto that ass.
On the other hand, he could use it to fly out of the well.
Sorry, long day, that's all I got.
You kinky freaky bastard!
I'm lucky, they asked me to be editor of Receiver of Blow Jobs Unlimited.
A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?" He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
Never heard of this guy, but he has me in stitches.
Hmmm Appears ya gotta click the pic, but it's worth it. 
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