Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor

So let me get this straight" the prosecutor says to the defendant. "You came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man".

"That's correct" says the defendant.

"Upon which" continues the prosecutor "you take out a pistol and shot your wife, killing her".

"That's correct" says the defendant.

"Then my question to you is - why did you shoot your wife and not her lover?" asked the prosecutor.

"It seemed easier" replied the defendant "than shooting a different man every day!"
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I was supposed to go out with this girl on Friday night.

On Friday afternoon she called and said that she didn't think it was a good idea, because she just wanted to be friends.

So I hung up and called her back. She was like "Hello?"

I said "Hey, friend , it's me. Want to hear what this fucking bitch just did?"
 
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