Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor

[Maser]

Q: Where do you send Jewish kids with ADD?
A: Concentration camp.

Q: Why do Mexican kids eat tamales on Christmas Day?
A: So they have something to unwrap.

Q: What is an illegal alien's favorite sport?
A: Cross-country.

Q: Why doesn't Mexico ever win any Olympic medals?
A: All their best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in America.

Q: How is an Asian pet store different from non-Asian ones?
A: Asian ones always have a kitchen in the back.

Q: Why don't black people accept free cruises?
A: They won't fall for that trick again.

 

[AIAW]

 

[J-Ham]

Those shoes will REALLY make you fast.

Get it...?

 

[AIAW]

Those shoes will REALLY make you fast.

Get it...?

Ahhh, crafty!

 

[armorpl8chikn]

Those shoes will REALLY make you fast.

Get it...?

 

[J-Ham]

Hey dude, you wouldn't be here if you weren't at least a little fucked up yer damn self, haha!

 

[lostintexas]

Those shoes will REALLY make you fast.

Get it...?

You're such a GAS!

 

[J-Ham]

Up until purchasing these shoes, my best time had been a ten...

Strapped these babies on, immediately ran a nein!

 

[168BTHPM]

 

[168BTHPM]

 

[168BTHPM]

 

[armorpl8chikn]

View attachment 7037767

??

 

[MtnCreek]

 

[j-huskey]

Let's hear it for holsterless Israeli carry.....

Dumb ass, n sore ass too...

 

[Ravenworks]

View attachment 7037767

Fleshlight abuse

 

[Mike Casselton]

Got dayum!!!
Is that mother fucker a silver back? Look at all that back hair.

Oh yeah, he's a dumbass too!

 

[AIAW]

Damn! Tissue damage seems a little excessive - WTF was he carrying I wonder?

 

[Unknown]

Yikes...that has gotta be sore as hell. I have two friends who have shot themselves in the ass. One of them was warned by me that carrying that way was a good way to shoot himself in the ass...less than a month later, he did just that. He wanted to carry his 1911 with a round in the chamber, without a holster, after lowering the hammer. I said "no, it is hammer down on an empty chamber, or cocked and locked on a loaded chamber."

Apparently, when he shoved the pistol into his trousers, the slide moved enough to fully cock the hammer. Without a holster, during the day, his shirt got bunched up in the trigger guard. After he left the bathroom in a fancy hotel, like most guys, he went to straighten out his shirt and hike his trousers back up. As the hammer had been cocked, and with the shirt in the trigger guard, all that was left was to depress the grip safety. As he straightened out and tucked in his shirt, he bumped the grip safety and the gun fired.

He said he was really embarrassed, and started looking for the hole in the carpet, but couldn't find one, that was when blood started dripping onto the carpet. The bullet was a 185 grain Remington hollow point... Bullet entered the top of his right ass cheek, exited the bottom of his ass cheek, re-entered the back of his right calf and stopped by his heel... Fortunately the bullet didn't expand. He now has three silver dollar sized pucker scars, and a surgical scar where the bullet was removed.

 

[armorpl8chikn]

Stupid should be painful.

 

[Sixfivesavage]

Yikes...that has gotta be sore as hell. I have two friends who have shot themselves in the ass. One of them was warned by me that carrying that way was a good way to shoot himself in the ass...less than a month later, he did just that. He wanted to carry his 1911 with a round in the chamber, without a holster, after lowering the hammer. I said "no, it is hammer down on an empty chamber, or cocked and locked on a loaded chamber."

Apparently, when he shoved the pistol into his trousers, the slide moved enough to fully cock the hammer. Without a holster, during the day, his shirt got bunched up in the trigger guard. After he left the bathroom in a fancy hotel, like most guys, he went to straighten out his shirt and hike his trousers back up. As the hammer had been cocked, and with the shirt in the trigger guard, all that was left was to depress the grip safety. As he straightened out and tucked in his shirt, he bumped the grip safety and the gun fired.

He said he was really embarrassed, and started looking for the hole in the carpet, but couldn't find one, that was when blood started dripping onto the carpet. The bullet was a 185 grain Remington hollow point... Bullet entered the top of his right ass cheek, exited the bottom of his ass cheek, re-entered the back of his right calf and stopped by his heel... Fortunately the bullet didn't expand. He now has three silver dollar sized pucker scars, and a surgical scar where the bullet was removed.

....and the bullet?

 

[1J04]

Meanwhile, somewhere in Arizona, @Dirty D does the unthinkable.............


Go Ahead, CLICK IT !!!

 

[powdahound76]

@Mike Casselton That sir, is nothing in the back hair arena. I have horror stories of shaving guys to get their ekg patches to stick. One so we could get the defib pads on....... He was just a little guy close to 400 lbs.

As for the butt cheek shot. Dang!!!
I have explained this and pocket carry to my brother. He doesnt listen very well. This pic should have him holster shopping in no time......?
If you carry a lot, holsters make it safer, more comfortable, and better chances of it not falling out and skittering across a floor.

Those wounds take forever to heal up as well. Probably 4+ months for that one barring infection or issues.

 

[MtnCreek]

@powdahound76

Do you know why there is something through the hole and tied?

 

[armorpl8chikn]

@powdahound76

Do you know why there is something through the hole and tied?

Drain

Or a way to help it heal from inside out?

 

[powdahound76]

Its to keep the tunnel open between entrance and exit. If you let it close off too quickly, there is very high risk for a fistula or a massive abscess to form in there.

Im sure that thing gets pack with a strip guaze called Iodoform daily and then you pull it all out and do it again. Then as it gets shallower, perhaps a wound vac.

So besides packing daily with dressing chsnges to help remove “unwanted” stuff, this stays there until the channel is almost healed up.

Thats what I have seen in some gangbangers I took care of in the ICU before I went to the ED.
One had an exit about 1 cm from his butthole. Entrance just about got his nuts. Went through his thigh and out in his buttcrack.
Punk. Figure he is dead by now.

 

[j-huskey]

Chikin and Powdahound are correct on the tie off through the hole, to allow it to drain, to help it heal inside out, and to assist in packing for the many reasons to pack. Debris will work it's way out, or create infection pockets if not worked out by packing and flushing, and you never get it all out on the first trip.
Sit in car, shoot self in ass, drive bleeding ass self to hospital, slither in, say, I got extra hole in my ass, please fix.....

Yes, I know this guy, and no, I cant tell the whole story, ......... yet... :- )

 

[Mike Casselton]

@Mike Casselton That sir, is nothing in the back hair arena. I have horror stories of shaving guys to get their ekg patches to stick. One so we could get the defib pads on....... He was just a little guy close to 400 lbs.

As for the butt cheek shot. Dang!!!
I have explained this and pocket carry to my brother. He doesnt listen very well. This pic should have him holster shopping in no time......?
If you carry a lot, holsters make it safer, more comfortable, and better chances of it not falling out and skittering across a floor.

Those wounds take forever to heal up as well. Probably 4+ months for that one barring infection or issues.

You're right about that back hair.
If I want to see gorilla or sasquatch, all I have to do is go to any beach and look for the hairy Italian fella in the speedo. I've seen some guys that are so bad you can't see their skin.

Eeeeeeeewww!!

 

[j-huskey]

You're right about that back hair.
If I want to see gorilla or sasquatch, all I have to do is go to any beach and look for the hairy Italian fella in the speedo. I've seen some guys that are so bad you can't see their skin.

Eeeeeeeewww!!

MIKE,
WHY ARE YOU ADMITTING TO LOOKING AT HAIRY ITALIAN GUYS IN SPEEDOS ON A BEACH. ?????

This IS the Hide, and YOU know, such admissions have consequences... ???????????

 

[armorpl8chikn]

MIKE,
WHY ARE YOU ADMITTING TO LOOKING AT HAIRY ITALIAN GUYS IN SPEEDOS ON A BEACH. ?????

This IS the Hide, and YOU know, such admissions have consequences... ???????????

Hey! Hey!
We aren't here to judge. I will defend his right to ogle extremely hirsute, missing link men.
Whatever fries his chicken.

Carry on Mike. You just let that freak flag fly bud.

 

[lash]

@Mike Casselton That sir, is nothing in the back hair arena. I have horror stories of shaving guys to get their ekg patches to stick. One so we could get the defib pads on....... He was just a little guy close to 400 lbs.

As for the butt cheek shot. Dang!!!
I have explained this and pocket carry to my brother. He doesnt listen very well. This pic should have him holster shopping in no time......?
If you carry a lot, holsters make it safer, more comfortable, and better chances of it not falling out and skittering across a floor.

Those wounds take forever to heal up as well. Probably 4+ months for that one barring infection or issues.

I’ve always wondered why people choose to carry without at least a pocket holster to cover things. Holsters are so readily available and can be very inexpensive if that’s your thing. I think that Forrest Gump had it right...

 

[powdahound76]

Just heard Lou Reed’s Walk on the Wild Side.
Now I will envision @Mike Casselton in mirrored shades checking out dudes at the beach when I hear that. Or where ever the heck he goes for such “activities”.

 

[Threadcutter308]

Tough crowd today..........

 

[1J04]

Near the Oyster Bar ?

 

[Mike Casselton]

Just heard Lou Reed’s Walk on the Wild Side.
Now I will envision @Mike Casselton in mirrored shades checking out dudes at the beach when I hear that. Or where ever the heck he goes for such “activities”.

If I'm gonna do that, I'd need to buy these old skool pair of Vaurnets, and some OP shorts.

Lou Reed also said that "he shaved his legs, then he was a she".
I guess you gotta do that before you take that walk.

I don't think I'd enjoy the Buffalo Bill tuck either.

 

[MtnCreek]

 

[Threadcutter308]

Near the Oyster Bar ?

Funny, but I'm not upvoting that. Too much room for mis-understanding.....Intentional or otherwise.

Jimmy, you got snow ? We're gettin' snow........Northerlies, headed your way, methinks.

 

[1J04]

Funny, but I'm not upvoting that. Too much room for mis-understanding.....Intentional or otherwise.

Jimmy, you got snow ? We're gettin' snow........Northerlies, headed your way, methinks.

I fully concur. No Homo. It was snowing awhile ago in Longview. I don't know about around here right now. I'm deep within the Gulag and have no windows, camer/outside monitor, or contact with the outside. Hence 'trying' to be an asshole today.......... ?

 

[TOP PREDATOR]

I

I’m sorry that’s not in the form of a question

 

[Jefe's Dope]

If I'm gonna do that, I'd need to buy these old skool pair of Vaurnets, and some OP shorts.

View attachment 7038176

Lou Reed also said that "he shaved his legs, then he was a she".
I guess you gotta do that before you take that walk.

I don't think I'd enjoy the Buffalo Bill tuck either.

After looking everywhere I was able to find a nice pair of Vaurnets in Caesar's Palace at a sunglass' store. I wore 'em until they wore out. Don't see them very many places anymore.

Didn't sport the glacier glasses back in the day. Cat eyes was my style.

Edit: One of the few name brand sunglass' NOT owned by Luxotica and they're monopoly on sunglass'.

Luxottica - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

And why you don't find them in stores very often.

 

[Dirty D]

I’m a sick little ass sniffing pug, I just can’t help myself

I told you I don’t need a prostate exam now go bother some inmates.

 

[Threadcutter308]

Jesus...........I'm out.......Y'all are sick fuks. I can't keep up, not ashamed to admit to it. I'm old, seen a lot, but Jeebus......really ?

Think of the children........

 

[hermosabeach]

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