Maggie’s Socially UNacceptable Humor
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You know how some people are born with a stick up their arse?
Well, I met someone today who not only had a stick up their arse but a big bug to swing it.
Casual acquaintance tells me they're taking their dog to the pet salon.
Naturally I asked, "What does one get done at a pet 'salon'?"
"Just a groom and a blow" they replied.
before I could stop myself I said "Sounds like a paedophile's dream"
Man, some women can yell.
Well, I met someone today who not only had a stick up their arse but a big bug to swing it.
Casual acquaintance tells me they're taking their dog to the pet salon.
Naturally I asked, "What does one get done at a pet 'salon'?"
"Just a groom and a blow" they replied.
before I could stop myself I said "Sounds like a paedophile's dream"Man, some women can yell.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.
Jill fell down and broke her crown---? but--
Jack was quick, over the candlestick--
He caught her as she fell down-
Jack was quick
He raised both skirt and dropped her Bloomers
Next thing you know-
Jill is headed downhill with a bucket of water and a smile on her face cause Jack FUCKED her.
PS.. I didn't make any of that rhyme did I ? Try later
Jill fell down and broke her crown---? but--
Jack was quick, over the candlestick--
He caught her as she fell down-
Jack was quick
He raised both skirt and dropped her Bloomers
Next thing you know-
Jill is headed downhill with a bucket of water and a smile on her face cause Jack FUCKED her.
PS.. I didn't make any of that rhyme did I ? Try later
Dice: Jack and Jill went up 'da hill, each with a buck and quarter.
Jill came down with $2.50 , dafukin whore.
Closer to rhyme?
Hickory dickory dock
The bitch sucked on my cock
The clock struck two
I shot her some goo
And dropped the bitch off at the corner
Dice.
The bitch sucked on my cock
The clock struck two
I shot her some goo
And dropped the bitch off at the corner
Dice.
Mary had a little lamb (she had quite a few it seems)
It's fleece was black as charcoal
Every time it jumped the fence
Sparks flew out it's arsehole.
It's fleece was black as charcoal
Every time it jumped the fence
Sparks flew out it's arsehole.
1J04 had a little lamb
He thought was roaming
It hasn't fled, its dropped dead
From the nerve gas in Wyoming.
He thought was roaming
It hasn't fled, its dropped dead
From the nerve gas in Wyoming.
You guys need to work on your limericks a bit. Here’s a couple from back when I was 19 working the spray booth in a production woodworking shop:
There was a young man from Peru,
who fell asleep in a canoe.
While dreaming of Venus,
he played with his penis,
and woke up with a handful of goo.
I once knew a blond girl named Marion,
the kind that you bust yer young cherry on.
Her tits were quite neat,
but she won’t eat yer meat,
‘cuz she thinks she’s a real vegetarian.
There was a young man from Peru,
who fell asleep in a canoe.
While dreaming of Venus,
he played with his penis,
and woke up with a handful of goo.
I once knew a blond girl named Marion,
the kind that you bust yer young cherry on.
Her tits were quite neat,
but she won’t eat yer meat,
‘cuz she thinks she’s a real vegetarian.
Why do women have legs?
So they don't leave a snail trail.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs?
Mat.
What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other?
Ilene.
What do you call a woman with no legs?
Nolene.
What do you call a dog with no legs.
Doesn't matter, poor little cunt can't come to you anyway.
So they don't leave a snail trail.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs?
Mat.
What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other?
Ilene.
What do you call a woman with no legs?
Nolene.
What do you call a dog with no legs.
Doesn't matter, poor little cunt can't come to you anyway.
Wow does that guy look like he was neglected as a kid
You guys suck at the Little Mary rhymes.
Mary had a sheep,
She took her sheep, off to sleep.
The sheep turned out to be a ram,
Mary had a little lamb.
Hot almighty damn.
Mary had a sheep,
She took her sheep, off to sleep.
The sheep turned out to be a ram,
Mary had a little lamb.
Hot almighty damn.
Old mother Hubbard looked in the cupboard to fetch her dog a bone,
when she bent over rover took over as he had a bone of his own.
Dice, maybe
R
when she bent over rover took over as he had a bone of his own.
Dice, maybe
R
See? There are no differences between the races. The black militia looks just as fat and stupid as the white militia does.
Crap. I can't feel my Arms or Legs...............
Idiots.
Idiots.
Shit Jimmy, why you do that ?
It's gonna take all afternoon for my nutz to return to their normal position.........
If these du.b motherfuckers, ever learned any real science like oh say...the rules of angular momentum.
Nah too busy learning about religion....new age of course..."Climatology"
Sorry, but geezus H Krist. This is the epitome of what we heard growing up ALL THE TIME. If so and so jumped off a bridge would you too? Remember? This scenario was doomed from the beginning for several reasons. But if ya don't know ya don't know. Geezus I'm a hypocrite.
Sorry, but geezus H Krist. This is the epitome of what we heard growing up ALL THE TIME. If so and so jumped off a bridge would you too? Remember? This scenario was doomed from the beginning for several reasons. But if ya don't know ya don't know. Geezus I'm a hypocrite.
I knew when I was 7, that the upward force of the trampoline, would not overcome and cancel, the greater forward motion, thus leading to an imminent collision with the side of the pool.
I didnt have a lot of friends.
It was situations like this where at a very young age, I learned the statement "you go first"......Sorry, but geezus H Krist. This is the epitome of what we heard growing up ALL THE TIME. If so and so jumped off a bridge would you too? Remember? This scenario was doomed from the beginning for several reasons. But if ya don't know ya don't know. Geezus I'm a hypocrite.
I did plenty of crazy shit when I was a kid, but it was all pretty well calculated. Came out fairly unscathed. Although, I do have a set of ceramic hips from Ski and MotoX racing.......
With teeth........
I once read that a HELLS ANGEL has to earn his wings and one does so by going down on a black woman and/or a woman who is having her period!
I earned my wings, now how do I learn how to ride a motorcycle at my age???
Sorry, but geezus H Krist. This is the epitome of what we heard growing up ALL THE TIME. If so and so jumped off a bridge would you too? Remember? This scenario was doomed from the beginning for several reasons. But if ya don't know ya don't know. Geezus I'm a hypocrite.
I must have been forty when my mom overheard me talking about jumping off the Waccamaw River bridge on a dare when I was about 14. She said, "It was Michael, wasn't it?" She then commenced to tear me a new one.
Being kids growing up the 70s 80s, definitely prior to then, learned about physics just by playing and having fun. Some of us got hurt some of us didn't. And when we got hurt, we did everything to keep it to ourselves. We knew that if we told our parents we got hurt and we are doing something stupid they're going to beat the snot out of us.
Hell, I remember being kids playing football or stickball in the street. If a car had to slow down or honk the horn because of us... A neighbor had the authority to walk out and beat the snot out of us. And you would pray that nobody told your parents. Physics, do it right and you don't get smacked. Do it wrong you get smacked by the neighbors... And probably your parents at some later BBQ outing
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1997 or 98.....
Friend of mine that had a excavation business in Northern Arizona used to do business, confirming with a hand shake.
Told me after dealing with the Kalifoneez, it was a whole new ball game.
As a Kaliforneez resident I’m disgusted at the trash leaving here and going to solid red states and turning them purple And eventually blue. They spread like cancer, unfortunately Ca isn't the only problem.
I always called their spread a virus.
They so fucked up a beautiful place, enough to sell out, relocate and start the recreation of the shit they left behind.. .
When anything goes, everything goes.
What does the acronym AIDS stand for?
A nally
I njected
D eath
S entence
A nally
I njected
D eath
S entence
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