We already thanked you with that Bag O Dicks .You're welcome for that stimulus check I sent you.
The 'heres a little known embarassing fact about me' thread
- Thread starter TheGerman
- Start date
I bribed a Punta Cana airport security screener with a "case" of Juicy Fruit gum
by case, it was whatever they call the small boxes that hold the gum for display in stores, this:
by case, it was whatever they call the small boxes that hold the gum for display in stores, this:
Worked for a company that made Medical/Sutgical devices. At one point they aquired a competitor . After we had finished with moving the aquired assets from Connecticut to Pa the senior management called the whole company together . So about sixty people yammereing and talking while the head of engineering is trying to speak . Just as I decide to go all retard in normal converstional volume with quiet Lurch speaks everyone clams up . You could have heard a fuckin pin drop . Never got the stink eye from so many at one time . Lurch was embarrassed as well and turned bright red . As I recall his voice cracked the whole time he was speaking .
That happened to a buddy when he was talking to me at a concert, the song ended abruptly and all everyone heard was him yell "It's like fucking a fist!".
No, she was just strange looking ugly. 6th grade was when everybody from the county came to the same school. Lots of new people. I fall for the ugly chick. Long John Kerry face. LolWhat hes not telling is, everybody in the class called his best friend "Ugly", you know, nickname.....
We were leaving a job site one day and had just finished loading up the large 20' enclosed trailer. As I was pulling away my buddy asks "what's that screech?" I look in the mirror and notice that the trailer is dragging a Porta john down the driveway with it. I stop the truck, we get out and I say to my buddy " well at least nobody was in it". At that moment some dude slowly opens the door, still pulling his pants up and not sure what just happened walks off and into the job. Fortunately we never had to go back
Back in middle school, there was a male cheer leader we all made fun of. Called him a homo, and every other name in the book.
Fast forward to high school and the guy is knee deep in fine pussy. Not just fucking our cheerleaders, but fucking other school’s cheerleaders. He also got a scholarship for cheerleading.
If I could go back in time, I’d be a male cheer leader instead of going into wrestling. While I was being “cool” grappling with sweaty dudes, he was being a “homo” grabbing bitches by the pussy.
^^^This! I also knew a Male cheer leader, so much fine pussy he had to beat them back with a stick. Of course we called him a "homo" also......
Michelle Obama blew me once, but this was a long time ago. Back when he was a lineman for the Oregon Beavers.
So youre the fucking one driving that truck.
Whoops, sorry bro
Scared ya shitless I bet (probably a cleaner ride that way)
What hes not telling is, everybody in the class called his best friend "Ugly", you know, nickname.....
So funny, he's all fuck the shuttle we got hungry mouths to feed, alllllll for the stinky finger
I got a call from a random number once, from someone with a thick Chinese accent trying to sell me something, and being super hard to understand and communicate with. Turned out it was my friend, just calling to fuck with me. Fast forward a week, I get another call from someone with a thick Chinese accent, trying to sell me something. I unload on him, insulting him and his shitty accent, and other awful things that no one should say to anyone. I wait for a response because I thought it was my friend, but all I got was a confused, offended and hurt Chinese man asking me why I said all that stuff. I couldn't apologize enough, so I said sorry and hung up on him.
Embarrassing as hell. I once slept with a thicker girl in college due to beer goggles, woke up, deciding if I should wake her, or bite my arm off and be called "lefty" for life. Thank god I fell asleep again and she was gone when I woke up again. I avoid college reunions exactly for this reason.
That's why you chew both arms off, cuz she'll be looking for a one armed man.
D
Deleted member 113831
Guest
Embarrassment #1...when I was young (5-12yrs old)... I was a gymnast. There is a lot emotional baggage there to unpack about being called a homo, yet being stronger than anyone else in my school, and getting to hang around young attractive girls in leotards for 2 hours everyday after school and being too young to do anything about it.
Embarrassment #2... I was in love with a girl named Kelly Garrison (1988 Olympic Gymnast) . We are from the same home town, and I trained in her gym for years and our parents were good friends. She is 4 years older than me, so I was kind of like a little brother to her. But she was, and still is fucking beautiful.
So, my dumb ass writes a poem about her...not just a simple sweet poem, but a long sappy, love sick poem. I keep it to myself for a lot of years, but then my mom finds it and enteres it into a local poem contest....it fucking wins "honorable mention" and gets published in the local paper!!
Kelly Garrison:
Embarrassment #2... I was in love with a girl named Kelly Garrison (1988 Olympic Gymnast) . We are from the same home town, and I trained in her gym for years and our parents were good friends. She is 4 years older than me, so I was kind of like a little brother to her. But she was, and still is fucking beautiful.
So, my dumb ass writes a poem about her...not just a simple sweet poem, but a long sappy, love sick poem. I keep it to myself for a lot of years, but then my mom finds it and enteres it into a local poem contest....it fucking wins "honorable mention" and gets published in the local paper!!
Kelly Garrison:
Last edited by a moderator:
I like frozen sour patch kids AND once bought an R700 ACC-SD and thought it was the best investment I could make when I actually had the money to buy something of quality.
#TimeOpensAllWounds
#TimeOpensAllWounds
The poem or it didnt happen...LOL.
I got kicked out of the Airforce for underage drinking and fist fighting. What a bunch of girls. Hey, now that I think about it, I guess my answer is, “I was in the Airforce.”
I actively pursue fat women. When I’ve struck out on the 3-10’s, fat women are my Hail Mary before I resort to getting a hooker.
Fat women suck and fuck harder. It’s really quite an interesting thing. Hotties don’t try as hard, since they are hot. Plus, fat women are way more likely to engage in a threesome with another woman. Just saying...
You havent been around long enough to remember Shankster. Ya'll would have been tight. He had a whole crew of Hefties'.
I pay a stripper named Misty two grand a month in hush money. It used to be five grand a month for too many years, but thankfully it's only two grand now.
First pistol qual I shot low marksman on qual day despite coming a few points shy of expert on pre-qual, I couldn't even spell pistol then much less shoot one. I got a Browning Buckmark and shot the fuck out of it every weekend until I actually got my shitty wristing trigger control under control, but I still had to rock a pizza box for six months as a Sniper Team Leader.
And now for my deepest, darkest embarrassing secret. I'm Creedmoor curious and have a JP 6.5 barrel for a large frame AR in the safe. I haven't gone all the way yet, and am afraid to drink too much when I'm home alone because I may go down to the basement and complete the deed. You can shoot .260 and .308 all your life, but once you shoot a Creed once, everyone knows you as a Creed shooter.
First pistol qual I shot low marksman on qual day despite coming a few points shy of expert on pre-qual, I couldn't even spell pistol then much less shoot one. I got a Browning Buckmark and shot the fuck out of it every weekend until I actually got my shitty wristing trigger control under control, but I still had to rock a pizza box for six months as a Sniper Team Leader.
And now for my deepest, darkest embarrassing secret. I'm Creedmoor curious and have a JP 6.5 barrel for a large frame AR in the safe. I haven't gone all the way yet, and am afraid to drink too much when I'm home alone because I may go down to the basement and complete the deed. You can shoot .260 and .308 all your life, but once you shoot a Creed once, everyone knows you as a Creed shooter.
I hear ya, but not embarrassing. That's a fucking badge of honor and proof of dedication to win.
I ran one with the hershey squirts
Hi, I shoot Creedmoor. Wanna hold hands?
Like telling everyone that you are a Vegan?
Why do you think I just ordered that 45-70? I now need to overcompensate. When it shows up, we can pray the gay away together.
I've actually had that JP barrel for years, just little reason (and even less funds) to finish the assembly. You still have dibs on that extra SH receiver set of mine if you ever want it.
The wife and I ate at a hippie restaurant last night in the hills (both had filet minion at least), it preached gluten free, organic, local, blah blah blah and everyone wearing a mask but us, and I woke up last night in a cold sweat thinking about taking a sledge to a tractor tire and waving ropes around after during burpies. Fuck, that shit was close, but ate a bunch of processed bacon this morning and slapping ribs on the grill this afternoon should clean it out of my system.
I once almost bought a barska optic because it looked similar to an acog, and I figured its the look that counts more than the quality, right?
Some dude in the front of the platoon did that at Hansen.
We were all severely hung over and just about everyone threw up.
Now that's something that I haven't thought about since 1981
You know what would be funny comrades? If we all shared the name of our first pet and the street we grew up on? Y’all go first, I’m too busy laughing at how fun this will be!
::grabs pen and paper::
::grabs pen and paper::
had a Send-It electronic level in my shopping cart once.
decided i couldn't afford it.
decided i couldn't afford it.
I still own an NC Star “scope”
@TheGerman’s head explodes
@TheGerman’s head explodes
Paid a stripper to put her clothes back on. Cost me three bottles of patron silver to keep from getting my face pushed in.
I married a Cuban gal for my first wife....
Didn't learn
Married a Cuban gal for my second wife....
Learned....
Single.
Didn't learn
Married a Cuban gal for my second wife....
Learned....
Single.
I call bullshit! You know you’re going to find a spicy Latin woman again
