Douche bag fondles my married friend

[armorpl8chikn]

The saga continues:

After posting the dastardly details of the horrific #metoo incident he witnessed, the lumbersexual sits back to await the praise he expects from internet strangers.

The seconds tick by as he enjoys a vape of his special bubblegum sprinkle flavored e-liquid.

“What’s this? A reply!!! Now i’ll receive the vindication I so desperately seek!!” He exclaims up the basement stairs to his mother.

“Go buy a hooker, and quit using my hand cream!!” His mother screams back down. His father can be heard sighing with disappointment in the background.

He scrolls down to revel in all the attaboys he should be receiving. Instead, as he begins to read, his stomach drops. “What’s this?!” He exclaims. Where he expected back patting, he is only met with ridicule and scorn.

His mind reeling from disappointment, he is shocked. This isn’t how the facefail system works. Everybody usually gives me likes when I post pictures of my cats!!

Not sure what to do, he runs upstairs to his mother. His tearful eyes pleading for acknowledgement and a compliment. He gets neither...

In a fury, he ties up his man bun, grabs his vaporizer, and runs back upstairs to ask his parents if he can use their car.

He was last seen headed to a starbucks to get a venti iced mocha frappe with extra whipped cream.

This has been an absolute epic weekend on the Hide.
It's hard to know who to thank, for Mr Fatcock has truly delivered with his pithy commentary. At the same time, we wouldn't have this opportunity, without 308$ marvelous rendering of "The Friend Zone".
Then there are Bender's contributions...

Just so many people to recognize and thank for such performances....

 

[TheMammoth]

I don’t think this thread went how he hoped it would. ?

 

[QuickNDirty]

Damn fine thread to wake up to.

Thank you, @308220, for sharing your story.

 

[AIAW]

DJ Electric Hamburger will be there. Sign me the fuck up!

 

[WATERWALKER]

Here’s the way I see this situation:

You think highly of your lady friend. You’ve placed her on a pedestal. You’ve just been hit w/ a reality check; she’s a ho. She’s either banging the guy or soon will be.

No “lady” married or otherwise will tolerate that shit for a few bucks unless they’re fucking or soon will be.

Nobody should be placed on a pedestal, IMO. I think you’re really disappointed w/ her because you either disapprove of her actions or you want to hit it too. Either way, you should walk away from this female. Period.

Walking away is a win-win in this scenario.

 

[Bender]

Here’s the way I see this situation:

You think highly of your lady friend. You’ve placed her on a pedestal. You’ve just been hit w/ a reality check; she’s a ho. She’s either banging the guy or soon will be.

No “lady” married or otherwise will tolerate that shit for a few bucks unless they’re fucking or soon will be.

Nobody should be placed on a pedestal, IMO. I think you’re really disappointed w/ her because you either disapprove of her actions or you want to hit it too. Either way, you should walk away from this female. Period.

Walking away is a win-win in this scenario.

She already is and has been. She just has a cuck for a husband who can’t keep up but will pay her bills.

 

[Blutroop]

Cheer up 308220. I knew a few sweet innocent girls in high school. Then I got back in touch after the mil to find a few strippers, a few bartenders, lesbians and even a waitress. I was young enough to think I could save em. I dated one stripper, had a open relationship with one, was a last call hookup with one any time we both struck out, slept with a lot of lesbians (oh the drama) one kept trying to date me and would dangle a threesome carrot every time I moved on.. never did get that threesome.. I’ve been the guy sitting with a girl I’ve slept with to have her tell another guy “him, oh we’re just friends” and I’ve been the guy that the girl says “him, oh we’re just friends” if there’s two things you can take from all this... 1st. You wanna be the guy the girl tells “him, we’re just friends, not the guy sitting next to her. 2nd. You can’t save girls like that unless or until they realize they need saving. Even then, don’t get your hopes up. Oh and what do you do with your man bun when you box? Lol

 

[THEIS]

Hi,

That guy (along with others) has already Hulk smashed your friend....and she liked it.

Sincerely,
Theis

 

[Ravenworks]

View attachment 7031105


DJ Electric Hamburger will be there. Sign me the fuck up!

I heard the Fuzzy Potato was subbing for the Hamburg since his miraculous recovery from his GSW.

OP,in all seriousness I think it's fucked up that you talk to a married woman everyday.
I want you to think about what I just said,because if I found out my wife was talking to some dude everyday I'd be done.

 

[Deleted member 10043]

This is some great shit. I'm fucking crying. Even my cat is laughing.

 

[Deleted member 10043]

I heard the Fuzzy Potato was subbing for the Hamburg since his miraculous recovery from his GSW.

OP,in all seriousness I think it's fucked up that you talk to a married woman everyday.
I want you to think about what I just said,because if I found out my wife was talking to some dude everyday I'd be done.

I work with 18 married women. I even cycle at the same time.

 

[Jscb1b]

NEVER trust someone or something that bleeds for 7 days and does not die!

 

[Deleted member 10043]

 

[Supersubes]

In for the memes.....

 

[Cheyenne Bodie]

Watch her ass get divorced and blame you, lol.

 

[Bigfatcock]

Meanwhile at Starbucks:

The lumbersexual walks up to the counter of his local Starbucks, knowing that a venti iced mocha frappe with extra whipped cream will calm his nerves. He locks eyes with the male Barista behind the counter, and they proceed to chat about which brand of hair ties is best to hold a bun. The guy behind the counter says ( for the third time) “ I’m not gay. That’ll be $8.75.”

Digging into the pockets of his skinny jeans, an awkward silence ensues as he tries to find the last of his money. He absentmindedly wonders if his go fund me for this months phone bill will work out.

Finding his cash, pays the barista and says “ I wasn’t really hitting on you.” Before he heads to his table. Upon reaching his table he decides to read the news to clear his head of the disappointment he experienced at the bar and on the ‘Hide.

He is immediately hit with headlines that Washington state is openly declaring war on homosexuals: https://lcvalley.dailyfly.com/Home/ArtMID/1352/ArticleID/52141/Vaping-Cost-Could-Nearly-Double

Now he sits there contemplating his next move...

 

[Supersubes]

Meanwhile at Starbucks:

The lumbersexual walks up to the counter of his local Starbucks, knowing that a venti iced mocha frappe with extra whipped cream will calm his nerves. He locks eyes with the male Barista behind the counter, and they proceed to chat about which brand of hair ties is best to hold a bun. The guy behind the counter says ( for the third time) “ I’m not gay. That’ll be $8.75.”

Digging into the pockets of his skinny jeans, an awkward silence ensues as he tries to find the last of his money. He absentmindedly wonders if his go fund me for this months phone bill will work out.

Finding his cash, pays the barista and says “ I wasn’t really hitting on you.” Before he heads to his table. Upon reaching his table he decides to read the news to clear his head of the disappointment he experienced at the bar and on the ‘Hide.

He is immediately hit with headlines that Washington state is openly declaring war on homosexuals: https://lcvalley.dailyfly.com/Home/ArtMID/1352/ArticleID/52141/Vaping-Cost-Could-Nearly-Double

Now he sits there contemplating his next move...

That link deserves a thread all to itself.

 

[AIAW]

Meanwhile at Starbucks:

The lumbersexual walks up to the counter of his local Starbucks, knowing that a venti iced mocha frappe with extra whipped cream will calm his nerves. He locks eyes with the male Barista behind the counter, and they proceed to chat about which brand of hair ties is best to hold a bun. The guy behind the counter says ( for the third time) “ I’m not gay. That’ll be $8.75.”

Digging into the pockets of his skinny jeans, an awkward silence ensues as he tries to find the last of his money. He absentmindedly wonders if his go fund me for this months phone bill will work out.

Finding his cash, pays the barista and says “ I wasn’t really hitting on you.” Before he heads to his table. Upon reaching his table he decides to read the news to clear his head of the disappointment he experienced at the bar and on the ‘Hide.

He is immediately hit with headlines that Washington state is openly declaring war on homosexuals: https://lcvalley.dailyfly.com/Home/ArtMID/1352/ArticleID/52141/Vaping-Cost-Could-Nearly-Double

Now he sits there contemplating his next move...

Man, if your day job isn't in writing/storytelling - it should be.

 

[QuickNDirty]

Meanwhile at Starbucks:

The lumbersexual walks up to the counter of his local Starbucks, knowing that a venti iced mocha frappe with extra whipped cream will calm his nerves. He locks eyes with the male Barista behind the counter, and they proceed to chat about which brand of hair ties is best to hold a bun. The guy behind the counter says ( for the third time) “ I’m not gay. That’ll be $8.75.”

Digging into the pockets of his skinny jeans, an awkward silence ensues as he tries to find the last of his money. He absentmindedly wonders if his go fund me for this months phone bill will work out.

Finding his cash, pays the barista and says “ I wasn’t really hitting on you.” Before he heads to his table. Upon reaching his table he decides to read the news to clear his head of the disappointment he experienced at the bar and on the ‘Hide.

He is immediately hit with headlines that Washington state is openly declaring war on homosexuals: https://lcvalley.dailyfly.com/Home/ArtMID/1352/ArticleID/52141/Vaping-Cost-Could-Nearly-Double

Now he sits there contemplating his next move...

Wow! Real issues expertly woven into a great story. Please, continue!

 

[ShooterwithNoName]

Cant turn a ho into a housewife, hoes dont act right...

 

[Jefe's Dope]

 

[Veer_G]

 

[cornhusker86]

Amigo zone?!@#$%

 

[Ravenworks]

^^ classic as fuck
Where do you find this stuff

 

[Veer_G]

^^ classic as fuck
Where do you find this stuff

The price of trenchant witticisms is eternal vigilance.

 

[Bender]

 

[Bender]

 

[Bender]

 

[Bender]

 

[cornhusker86]

You boys are merciless !

Carry on...

 

[Ravenworks]

You boys are merciless !

Carry on...

Yeah no shit and I thought I was bad.

 

[Supersubes]

I vote Bender and @LawnMM start collaborating. They could be the meme generating duo of the century.

Thank you Gents, your memes never fail to make me LoL.

 

[W54/XM-388]

View attachment 7031049

Actually the guy without the armour is actually doing it right, using the sword the most effective way for him to attack the guy in the armour.
It looks like the guy with the armour also understands how dangerous this move is and is defending against the attack.

This is from a old book where the different setups for "trial by combat" to settle things were discussed.

 

[j-huskey]

Meanwhile at Starbucks:

The lumbersexual walks up to the counter of his local Starbucks, knowing that a venti iced mocha frappe with extra whipped cream will calm his nerves. He locks eyes with the male Barista behind the counter, and they proceed to chat about which brand of hair ties is best to hold a bun. The guy behind the counter says ( for the third time) “ I’m not gay. That’ll be $8.75.”

Digging into the pockets of his skinny jeans, an awkward silence ensues as he tries to find the last of his money. He absentmindedly wonders if his go fund me for this months phone bill will work out.

Finding his cash, pays the barista and says “ I wasn’t really hitting on you.” Before he heads to his table. Upon reaching his table he decides to read the news to clear his head of the disappointment he experienced at the bar and on the ‘Hide.

He is immediately hit with headlines that Washington state is openly declaring war on homosexuals: https://lcvalley.dailyfly.com/Home/ArtMID/1352/ArticleID/52141/Vaping-Cost-Could-Nearly-Double

Now he sits there contemplating his next move...

"Those guys know mama a ho !"

 

[TheGerman]

I'm going to need pics of bartender chick to help me figure this shit out.

 

[Veer_G]

I'm going to need pics of bartender chick to help me figure this shit out.

Remember, you asked for it.

 

[Bigfatcock]

I’d smash.

 

[TheGerman]

Remember, you asked for it.

View attachment 7031189

Guilty.

No ass. And looks like the donkey from Shrek. And is a communist.

All 3 are punishable by being shot in the face at close range.

 

[Bender]

 

[Bender]

 

[THEIS]

Hi,

When friend is trying to find bottle opener for her fuck buddy.

Sincerely,
Theis

 

[Rthur]

View attachment 7031165

This MF'r has never had sex while anyone else was in the room.
I'll bet one arm looks like Popeye's.

R

 

[Blue Sky Country]

The 'friend zone'...If you want to know if you are in the friend zone or in danger of being stuck there, here is a few questions that you can ask yourself:

1. Are you trying to "go somewhere" with the relationship but she just evades that topic and makes no sign or attempt that shows she shares your enthusiasm?

2. Do you find yourself going out of your own way, spending your own hard earned time and energy to devote to her and feel like you should be getting more, but you are not?

3. Do you feel like you are just being "put to work"?

If you are answering "YES" to any or all of the above questions, don't worry and don't panic...............it happens even to the best of us. Here is a few easy steps to get yourself back on the road:

1. Take a deep breath...Remember, shit like this happens from time to time...

2. Place the gear selector back to 'neutral'.

3. Restart the engine. Wait for a few seconds and make sure your air and oil gauges are showing proper operating pressure.

4. Depress the clutch and place the shifter into the lowest gear.

5. Push in those two red and yellow knobs, and start letting the clutch out, carefully. As soon as you start feeling the gears 'grabbing' and hear the engine pitch change, start pushing that accelerator down.

6. Congratulations, you are moving properly again and heading down the road. Just remember to keep your eyes on those RPM's and make sure you are in the correct gear for the speed you want to go at.

Oh wait, those are the instructions for a slightly different issue, but it still accurately addresses the problem nonetheless. The point is not to worry, not to panic and getting yourself moving again after being stuck. Good luck!

 

[DarnYankeeUSMC]

WOW, Tucker lays down the law about being kinder and gentler to others in the PIT and the next thing you know....... the PIT turns into Dear Abby.

 

[DuneBoer]

Next time I went to that bar I'd order a.....

 

[Bender]

Thread title should read:

“Bar Thot cucks me after I tell her how hard I would respect her in the bedroom”

 

[Bender]

Another thread title:

“Based Chad pics up bartender right in front of me”

 

[myronman3]

Lol not quite, but that was pretty funny. He was standing 6ft away when i asked her what was up with him. I can hold my own. I boxed golden gloves for 8 years. Id crack his drunk face without much fuss and stuff that bottle down his throat.

Someone asked if shes thick or thin. Shes 5'6 about 130ish. Blonde, fake boobs. She has the mining equipment. And no I dont have other motives. We've been friends since high school. Ill probably just avoid going there. And no, he wasnt a big tipper. I heard him say hes been laid off from the pipeline for months. Pretty sure he had a $5 bill laying on the bar when I left at closing time.

Wont go out of my way to talk to her anymore. And we've literally talked every day or every other day for years. If she can turn her back on her husband "for tips" or worse, cheat on him, she can def turn her back on a friend. Just left a really bad impression in my mind that wont be going away anytime soon.

As Creek said, real friends tell you when youre really fucking things up. As most will stand there and let you make a fool of yourself and let you potentially ruin your life.

you nailed it. if a person will fuck over their spouse, there is NOTHING they wont do and no one they wont screw over.

 

[THEIS]

 

[diverdon]

You came looking for a blue pill

Blue Pills out of stock take your Red Pill