Girl Problems.

[SigSauerM7]

I have this problem.

I keep going out for Karoke and singing along like a perfect little angel....and women with Dates and or BF's keep trying to have sex with me.

One girl I banged in a janitors closet but went limp because her tinderdate opened the door...

Then just this last weekend..some cute Croatian girl told me to come over to her booth at like 1 a.m..(her BF was outside smoking)...

I started sniffing her hair and making her laugh and she pulled out her vagina...then her BF comes over and looks like he is going to cry...I walk away...he pays my 50 dollar tab without even telling me and gets her outta there.

I'm dead serious.

Why can I not attract single women...and not be a homewrecker or a bully asshole?

Should I steal these women and beat up their BFs?

I mean they were sexy...but what if they have fresh pancake mix inside them from their BFs!!....THATS FUCKING GROSS!!!!

Anyways.

 

[Redlion]

 

[Charmingmander]

The fuck did I just read

 

[CCISERTDAWG]

 

[CCISERTDAWG]

 

[Bcamos]

Go on...

 

[Darryle]

Fuck, now I have to go home and get on Pluto and watch every episode of Green Acres

Why couldn't you have posted Fetus and Doc

 

[Lange Carabine]

 

[Kamerad]

 

[eprom]

 

[Blue Sky Country]

 

[cas6969]

 

[Jefe's Dope]

 

[TimC in KY]

I have this problem.

I started sniffing her hair and making her laugh and she pulled out her vagina...then her BF comes over and looks like he is going to cry...I walk away...he pays my 50 dollar tab without even telling me and gets her outta there.

Just a hint, if she “pulled it out” it was a dick.

 

[wvfarrier]

 

[SigSauerM7]

Just a hint, if she “pulled it out” it was a dick.

No she undid her pants down to the top of the vagina crack thing...

I was just about to start kissing her and fingerbanging her. Like in 5 or 10 seconds.

Then her asshole BF comes in and looks at her like she is mentally retaded

I had like 90 lbs on him...but he was super nice and not mean to me.

 

[psharon78]

 

[SigSauerM7]

My brothers wife is another one.

She always sniffs me and rubs her boob's into me like on Step Brothers. Then my brothers face goes red. And when we sit down at dinner she freakin rubs my leg sometimes.

WHY can I not attract normal hot single chicks. It's seriously annoying.

I am not wearing my 570 dollar aftershave anymore or using my 30 dollar Italian soap. It's probably that.

 

[CCISERTDAWG]

 

[SigSauerM7]

View attachment 8508518

Who is that guy?

 

[clcustom1911]

I have this problem.

I keep going out for Karoke and singing along like a perfect little angel....and women with Dates and or BF's keep trying to have sex with me.

One girl I banged in a janitors closet but went limp because her tinderdate opened the door...

Then just this last weekend..some cute Croatian girl told me to come over to her booth at like 1 a.m..(her BF was outside smoking)...

I started sniffing her hair and making her laugh and she pulled out her vagina...then her BF comes over and looks like he is going to cry...I walk away...he pays my 50 dollar tab without even telling me and gets her outta there.

I'm dead serious.

Why can I not attract single women...and not be a homewrecker or a bully asshole?

Should I steal these women and beat up their BFs?

I mean they were sexy...but what if they have fresh pancake mix inside them from their BFs!!....THATS FUCKING GROSS!!!!

Anyways.

I'll take "Several things that never fucking happened, for $1000 Alex".

 

[Taylorbok]

 

[SigSauerM7]

I'll take "Several things that never fucking happened, for $1000 Alex".

Right??!!

And my dad has the nerve to tell me to not go out and save money and buy a house.

 

[MrSmith]

I'll take "Several things that never fucking happened, for $1000 Alex".

I don't know. I think I remember reading this in the Penthouse Forum years ago. And, as you know, you can't put anything in Penthouse that's not true.

Thank you,
MrSmith

 

[abn31c]

My brothers wife is another one.

She always sniffs me and rubs her boob's into me like on Step Brothers. Then my brothers face goes red. And when we sit down at dinner she freakin rubs my leg sometimes.

WHY can I not attract normal hot single chicks. It's seriously annoying.

I am not wearing my 570 dollar aftershave anymore or using my 30 dollar Italian soap. It's probably that.

I'm guessing you like dudes too?

 

[Rthur]

R

 

[CCISERTDAWG]

Who is that guy?

Captain Kangaroo
Must be a youngster .

 

[MO Fugga]

But you're gay, so no harm no foul.

 

[SigSauerM7]

I think I know what to do now.

TRASH their BFs like in High School and get laid.

FUCK them....their GFs probably are looking for an out.

I'm not afraid of getting arrested anymore as of today. I know the system.

Cops like when you do that.

 

[Aftermath]

 

[lariat]

...the top of the vagina crack thing...

I'm going with @clcustom1911 on this.

Will this thread have the legs to go legendary status? Stay tuned...

 

[XLR308]

I have this problem.

I keep going out for Karoke and singing along like a perfect little angel....and women with Dates and or BF's keep trying to have sex with me.

One girl I banged in a janitors closet but went limp because her tinderdate opened the door...

Then just this last weekend..some cute Croatian girl told me to come over to her booth at like 1 a.m..(her BF was outside smoking)...

I started sniffing her hair and making her laugh and she pulled out her vagina...then her BF comes over and looks like he is going to cry...I walk away...he pays my 50 dollar tab without even telling me and gets her outta there.

I'm dead serious.

Why can I not attract single women...and not be a homewrecker or a bully asshole?

Should I steal these women and beat up their BFs?

I mean they were sexy...but what if they have fresh pancake mix inside them from their BFs!!....THATS FUCKING GROSS!!!!

Anyways.

If I'm hard and there is puntang on the other end there could be full auto gun fire and carpet bombing around me and I wouldn't skip a beat.
Sounds like you need some pills dog.

 

[SigSauerM7]

If I'm hard and there is puntang on the other end there could be full auto gun fire and carpet bombing around me and I wouldn't skip a beat.
Sounds like you need some pills dog.

No...okay....well maybe..

I'm too afraid of causing prison riots again. I respect the law too much.

But wait. I am not going to be afraid of getting punched in the back of the head..either.

Maybe I should prime my body with my secret viagra formula BEFORE I go out!!!

Do you old Korea vets want to know what it is?

 

[SigSauerM7]

It's 3 drops of 30% Hydrogen Peroxide put into a Pint of Milk. Do it 2 or 3 days before sex.

Don't burn your fingers.

WAY CHEAPER then Viagra.

 

[SigSauerM7]

Kay.

Another scenario around 2013.

City is Flooding and my stupid whore ex-wife invites her best friend into our basement t to stay for a month.

Her friend has nice tit's and...but also has a Somali BF..

So I get out of the shower ready for work smelling like Lectric Shave after shave and whatever shampoo..

She come around the corner and I'm in a towel and she says....

"I would totally fuck you and suck your cock if I didn't have a BF"...

So I says..

"Oh really hah. Aren't you still with what's his face"..

Then I went and got dressed.

You see I was raised Catholic..so..I'm faithful.

 

[Lange Carabine]

 

[SigSauerM7]

Okay.

Scenario where I DIDNT FUCK UP...

Around 2009 my whore ex wife left me to o drink more alcohol and do cocaine with some asshole that I beat up...

So..

She leaves her friend laying on the couch.
But guess who it is..(my grade 9 crush).

So I went into my whore ex wife's kitchen and made 1.5 liters of powder iced tea....then I poured in 350mls of Bacardi White..

I CHUGGED like most of it....

Then I walked into the living room and she looked at me and smiled.

I just walked up to her and grabbed her ass and pussy...ripper her pants off and just fucked her doogy style...and we fucked 3 times. This was about 9 years after Grade 9.

So I'm not gay.

 

[Bullfrog08]

As a young man, I did all kinds of STRAIGHT sexual things that I still feel like shit about. This included married woman.

Keep in mind that someday you will hit mid 40s and have to come to terms with all the bad shit you did.

 

[clcustom1911]

Are you one of these people? It sounds like you are. Especially with the intra family love connections

 

[Blue Sky Country]

Yo, this gotta be a longstanding member here fucking with us at this point.

ETA: Didn't this fella also say sometime back that he got arrested for threatening a mass shooting at a Texas state fair???

 

[SigSauerM7]

Funny thing about the Grade 9 crush night is that my whore ex wife was asking why there was baby oil and

Are you one of these people? It sounds like you are. Especially with the intra family love connections

View attachment 8508585

What like a Greek Brass Bull guy?

No. I am Irish-Austrian-Ukrainian-Scottish-English.

 

[Lange Carabine]

Okay.

Scenario where I DIDNT FUCK UP...

Around 2009 my whore ex wife left me to o drink more alcohol and do cocaine with some asshole that I beat up...

So..

She leaves her friend laying on the couch.
But guess who it is..(my grade 9 crush).

So I went into my whore ex wife's kitchen and made 1.5 liters of powder iced tea....then I poured in 350mls of Bacardi White..

I CHUGGED like most of it....

Then I walked into the living room and she looked at me and smiled.

I just walked up to her and grabbed her ass and pussy...ripper her pants off and just fucked her doogy style...and we fucked 3 times. This was about 9 years after Grade 9.

So I'm gay.

And then you woke up...

 

[diggler1833]

Well, that's two mentally unstable dudes who initiate posts with themselves as the main topic in the 'Pit in the past week.

Those dudes fit in here like Louis Farrakhan at a Klan meeting.

 

[SigSauerM7]

And then you woke up...

Correct. Took my whore ex wife out to Topps Pizza and had a Shrimp and Green Pepper Pizza with extra cheese and like 3 or 4 beers.

....then she found out 3 months later when I was at Pizza Hut with her daughter. (My step Daughter)..

The Gr.9 crush told all her friends that I pioneered her ASS..

But then my whore ex wife found out and she tried dumping me.

I guess Alberta is a small town.

 

[Mike Casselton]

So, your ninth grade crush was a dude?
You beat him up and then snorted coke off of his ass crack?

 

[XLR308]

Funny thing about the Grade 9 crush night is that my whore ex wife was asking why there was baby oil and


What like a Greek Brass Bull guy?

No. I am Irish-Austrian-Ukrainian-Scottish-English.

You sure you don't want to sprinkle a little native American in there ?

 

[Blue Sky Country]

So, your ninth grade crush was a dude?
You beat him up and then snorted coke off of his ass crack?


View attachment 8508599

Aw snap... OOOF!

 

[SigSauerM7]

You sure you don't want to sprinkle a little native American in there ?

No but I did fight Natives all the time. They try to throw Guns N Roses Cassettes at your face at like 70 mph....like everyday..and VHS tapes.

 

[SigSauerM7]

So, your ninth grade crush was a dude?
You beat him up and then snorted coke off of his ass crack?


View attachment 8508599

I am not delusional...but I don't follow spell check.

 

[XLR308]

So, your ninth grade crush was a dude?
You beat him up and then snorted coke off of his ass crack?


View attachment 8508599

Sadly I can only laugh at that once in my response.
Nailed it dude