Maggie’s Motivational Pic Thread v2.0 - - New Rules - See Post #1
- Thread starter Snake-Eyes
- Start date
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- motivational pictures
Barney- is this how you hunt down under?
Somehow this ^^^^^^^^ is easier to watch over and over than this...
Yeah, I get annoyed when Tucker posts my social outings too.
I like my coffee like my women, cold thick and bitter.
<blockquote class="imgur-embed-pub" lang="en" data-id="a/JiqiEvz"><a href="//imgur.com/JiqiEvz">Deep voice gas putting out candles</a></blockquote><script async src="//s.imgur.com/min/embed.js" charset="utf-8"></script>
It ain't an Old Debbie Harry......Have you seen any pics of her lately ? Maybe not as bad as Bridgette Bardot, but pretty tough, nonetheless.
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We all hit that wall, just some lead with their face.
Hi,
Doesn't she know that knife hand is not allowed anymore...so much intimidation in that, lolol...
Sincerely,
Theis
She should be careful... if she does that for the next 20 years, she’ll stretch them out!!
My dyslexic personality wants to say that that’s Hairy Debbie...
Alice Cooper’s manager back in the day
He wrote an amazing book and Mike Myers did a great documentary on his life
https://www.amazon.com/They-Call-Supermensch-Backstage-RocknRoll/dp/0062355953
I generally don't post or reply to the Boob/Pretty Girl posts. It's not that I don't notice them of course,but I think that looking at pretty young girls at my age is like shopping with no money. That and it gives me flashbacks when I realize every bad decision I ever made in life had something to do with a C or D cup...how shallow.
No head, no backstage pass, is a George Clinton/Funkadelic song from the 70’s.
QUOTE="hermosabeach, post: 7365308, member: 65243"]View attachment 6977979
Alice Cooper’s manager back in the day
He wrote an amazing book and Mike Myers did a great documentary on his life
https://www.amazon.com/They-Call-Supermensch-Backstage-RocknRoll/dp/0062355953[/QUOTE]
QUOTE="hermosabeach, post: 7365308, member: 65243"]View attachment 6977979
Alice Cooper’s manager back in the day
He wrote an amazing book and Mike Myers did a great documentary on his life
https://www.amazon.com/They-Call-Supermensch-Backstage-RocknRoll/dp/0062355953[/QUOTE]
Yes mate, since the government took away our guns.... Happens quite often but I have managed to avoid hitting one for a while, Even worse is hitting a Wombat, like hitting a boulder.Barney- is this how you hunt down under?
Don't beat yourself up my friend. We've all got regrets where the fairer sex is concerned. They give off a pheromone that makes us stupid.
A WARNING FOR ALL MALES
Last weekend I saw something at The Army Disposal Shop that sparked my interest. I was looking for a little something different for my wife Suzann. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer. The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse effect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...??
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Suzann what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Nigella looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Nigella (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.
Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a singlet with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another. The directions said that: a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.
I'm sitting there alone, the cat looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say 'Don't do it stupid' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.
I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and... HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE...!!
I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the foetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the lounge, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer, a note of caution: there is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.
-My bent reading glasses were on the top of the TV.
-The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.
-My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.
-My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
-I had no control over the drooling.
-Apparently, I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone.
-I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.
I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!
PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!
Last weekend I saw something at The Army Disposal Shop that sparked my interest. I was looking for a little something different for my wife Suzann. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer. The effects of the Tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse effect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety...??
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Suzann what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Nigella looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Nigella (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.
Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a singlet with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and Tazer in another. The directions said that: a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.
I'm sitting there alone, the cat looking on with her head cocked to one side so as to say 'Don't do it stupid' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it.
I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and... HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WHAT THE...!!
I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the foetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the lounge, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a Tazer, a note of caution: there is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.
-My bent reading glasses were on the top of the TV.
-The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was.
-My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.
-My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.
-I had no control over the drooling.
-Apparently, I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone.
-I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair.
I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!
PS: My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!
If you were looking at the hand then I have bad news for you.
I've heard of people, read about them and seen videos of people that have volunteered to get "tazed." They are nuts and must have the IQ of night crawler.
I was working on a television set in Electronics Class in my senior of high school. I forgot to take the normal precaution of putting one hand in my pocket while I was looking for a signal at various points on the circuit board with the oscilloscope.
For those who have never worked on electronic equipment I should explain that you NEVER put your non working hand anywhere except your pocket. To do otherwise would be to ground yourself and those little electrons may seek a place to travel through; namely your body.
I forgot to stick my hand in my pocket. I was troubleshooting the television and happened to get too close to a transformer.
The arc on the darn thing had to have been 3 inches long. That was the last thing I saw before my eyes rolled around to look in the back of my head. That was the first experience of ever seeing my own brain matter light up like the fourth of July.
I asked to be excused from class so I could go get another pair of pants.
With that said, I have NEVER and will NEVER volunteer to be tazed. I know what it is like courtesy of Sylvania.
anymore Tn guys at the Vol Jam
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Did gravity pull her ass down to her tits? Is this a down under pun?
Out fuc*ing standing!!!! Semper Fi!
You're twisted, Mate..........
