The 'heres a little known embarassing fact about me' thread

[johnnycat]

My family isn’t big into electronics so we were late to the game, but I still remember going to friends houses and how crazy it was getting on the internet and being able to hit a few keys and talk to people all over the world.

Most people were nice back then too which is weird looking back lol. Unless they had a name like P@wn3r69, and they would spam the chat for 3 hourslol

One of my most memorable games was one day some shithead little snot-nosed 12 year old private messaged me saying I needed to hang out in some novice game option and called me "kid". Now, like I say, I was like 40 years old then so my reflexes weren't what they used to be. Plus, I was the designated hatchet man that would run out in the open and get shot so that my teammates would know where the enemy was hiding. I never cared about kill-death ratios because I was there to have fun and de-stress.

So when the next round started I just shadowed him and jumped up and down and threw grenades and flash bangs at him! LOL. He couldn't do shit cause the enemy always knew where we were. He had a total shit fit. I was laughing my ass off so much. He was whining to the team and shit. Good stuff.

 

[akmike47]

One of my most memorable games was one day some shithead little snot-nosed 12 year old private messaged me saying I needed to hang out in some novice game option and called me "kid". Now, like I say, I was like 40 years old then so my reflexes weren't what they used to be. Plus, I was the designated hatchet man that would run out in the open and get shot so that my teammates would know where the enemy was hiding. I never cared about kill-death ratios because I was there to have fun and de-stress.

So when the next round started I just shadowed him and jumped up and down and threw grenades and flash bangs at him! LOL. He couldn't do shit cause the enemy always knew where we were. He had a total shit fit. I was laughing my ass off so much. He was whining to the team and shit. Good stuff.

I’ve been only ever played those kind of games online once, it was interesting. I’ve never been much of a game person. Way back in they day pool on yahoo was alright, but there was a group that mostly chatted and made stupid jokes.

 

[thejeep]

If you want to pull a heavy load, drive a Ford. If you want to swallow a heavy load, drive a Toyota.

Thats awesome. I didn’t know Ford drivers were so into giving handjobs. Is that how they pay for all the maintenance?

 

[diggler1833]

I think this downhill thread might have just went over a cliff.

 

[jakelly]

They started talking about chat rooms and it was like the rest of us disappeared…
@johnnycat , you aren’t by chance about 8/10 Mexican, are you?

 

[johnnycat]

They started talking about chat rooms and it was like the rest of us disappeared…
@johnnycat , you aren’t by chance about 8/10 Mexican, are you?

French Canadian

 

[sirhrmechanic]

French Canadian

Or as we call them in Vermont… Snow Beaners!

Sirhr

 

[diggler1833]

Or as we call them in Vermont… Snow Beaners!

Sirhr

I thought that was Eskimos? This damn PC culture has me all out of practice.

 

[GrumpyOleFart]

Web cam was fucken magic when it was new.
Deployed overseas, and getting to see your woman's strip teases.
So much better than the crumpled, much ogled photo.

 

[akmike47]

I thought that was Eskimos? This damn PC culture has me all out of practice.

believe the term is "Inuit" according to PC white girls.

Though Inuit language is part of the "Eskimo" laungage according to the interwebs....

Moral of the story white girls and their cuck boys who are hoping to get laid ruin everything.

"The Inuit languages are part of the Eskimo–Aleut languages also known as Inuit-Yupik-Unangan and also as Eskaleut."

So is Eskimo bad or not?

 

[diggler1833]

Web cam was fucken magic when it was new.
Deployed overseas, and getting to see your woman's strip teases.
So much better than the crumpled, much ogled photo.

I literally beat my dick like a death row inmate when I was in Iraq the second time because we had at least two dozen Webcam videos of girls on either side of the pond sending/having what they thought were private video sessions. In fact, the Adjutant for --- Co, 2/--- had an entire folder of that shit on the shared drive.

Edited to redact unit shit as I'm not sure how long the statute of limitations is.

 

[akmike47]

I wasn’t in the military, but I traveled for work. Can confirm webcams come in handy.

 

[sirhrmechanic]

So is Eskimo bad or not?

They make wicked good pies...

Damn, wait until the 'hatin on Uncle Ben and Aunt Jemima crowd get a look at this shit!!!

Sirhr

 

[akmike47]

They make wicked good pies...

View attachment 7755336

Damn, wait until the 'hatin on Uncle Ben and Aunt Jemima crowd get a look at this shit!!!

Sirhr

Aunt Jemima is a national treasure

 

[GrumpyOleFart]

Never understood Twinkies.
Till Zombieland..... then I ate one just to see.....

 

[GrumpyOleFart]

Mate of mine in Germany, he was so happy webcams arrived.
Went to specific groups so women could watch him masturbate.
I guess everyone needs a hobby.

 

[akmike47]

Mate of mine in Germany, he was so happy webcams arrived.
Went to specific groups so women could watch him masturbate.
I guess everyone needs a hobby.

Maybe he couldn't get off unless someone was disgusted

 

[TXAZ]

Anyone remember the first live 24/7 person cam “JenniCam” in the 90’s?

 

[GrumpyOleFart]

Maybe he couldn't get off unless someone was disgusted

No, he's hung like a butcher's shop window.
An extrovert and exhibitionist, that loves being cheered on.

 

[The King]

No, he's hung like a butcher's shop window.
An extrovert and exhibitionist, that loves being cheered on.

Dude. Don’t out me on the forums.

 

[akmike47]

No, he's hung like a butcher's shop window.
An extrovert and exhibitionist, that loves being cheered on.

Good for him

 

[akmike47]

Dude. Don’t out me on the forums.

Now you're trying to share it with a shemale 20 something lol

 

[Dirty D]

This is a true story but I’m 0.0% embarrassed by it:
When I started my divorce I ended up in front of a counselor who was trying to “fix things” and made the mistake of asking too many questions so I lasted out everything from health issues to a dumpster fire of a career to my childhood and topped it all off with stories of how my then wife had treated me for the last 19 years. I overwhelmed the counselor to the point that he just shit down and concluded the meeting and although was supposed to follow up for many more sessions never made an attempt to talk to me again. I’m also on a high suicide risk watch list with the VA, EVERY time I go in someone will ask me the screening questions, the irony is once the VA sent me to an outside ENT to fix my breathing where I don’t have 60 yes 60 apneas per hour I’m doing just fine and have worked myself off of 100% disability. I guess I’m like a cockroach, I may be vermin but you cunt kill me

 

[GrumpyOleFart]

☝Don't let the bastards grind you down.
All the best, @Dirty D

 

[GrumpyOleFart]

Marriage/relationship counsellors are vermin.
I remember going to a counsellor with my first fiancee years ago.
My fiancee was a totally hot as fuck, but highly manipulative woman.
She had managed to speak to him before our session, and in no way shape or form, was it an unbiased event.
By the end of it, I was guilty of everything from the Inquisition, to the Kennedy assassinations.
Tree hugging, mung bean eating, Croc shoe wearing, DonnyDoGood fucktards.

 

[The D]

Marriage/relationship counsellors are vermin.
I remember going to a counsellor with my first fiancee years ago.
My fiancee was a totally hot as fuck, but highly manipulative woman.
She had managed to speak to him before our session, and in no way shape or form, was it an unbiased event.
By the end of it, I was guilty of everything from the Inquisition, to the Kennedy assassinations.
Tree hugging, mung bean eating, Croc shoe wearing, DonnyDoGood fucktards.

Yikes, that sounds awful

I thank any God that will listen for sending me a boring, low maintenance wife

 

[powdahound76]

@GrumpyOleFart

I knew one. Solid dude.

Unfortunately left this world early with a glioblastoma.

Probably why my ex wife only went once, he held her accountable.

Another told me to relax, that spouses lying to each other is 100% normal and OK.
That session ended then….

 

[Maser]

One of these days I should post my playlist of music I listen to. That in itself is embarrassing enough!

 

[LeftyJason]

One of these days I should post my playlist of music I listen to. That in itself is embarrassing enough!

I'm guessing it has Tiptoe Through the Tulips on it.

 

[GrumpyOleFart]

I've learned to simply tell a woman "no" early in the relationship.
The nutty ones are like muzzrats, all smiles till they don't get their own way.

 

[GrumpyOleFart]

@GrumpyOleFart

I knew one. Solid dude.

Unfortunately left this world early with a glioblastoma.

Probably why my ex wife only went once, he held her accountable.

Another told me to relax, that spouses lying to each other is 100% normal and OK.
That session ended then….

Yup, that was a generalisation.
There are good and bad in every bunch.
Lost count of good blokes and chicks that have died young.

 

[TheGerman]

Depeche Mode is one of my all time favorite bands.

 

[Threadcutter308]

Depeche Mode is one of my all time favorite bands.

 

[Snipe260]

i hate to keep bringing it up but i did back my new, never been washed van through my new overhead garage door, that sucked. wasnt drinkin.
View attachment 7405592

It’s a bitch when your running late for a soccer match!

 

[Snipe260]

I am usually not a person that barfs, pretty rare even after much alcohol

I once barfed all over the front steps of the White House (not going to say why I was there, don't ask)
but

Eating Hillary’s pussy? Or sucking Michelle’s cock?

 

[Jscb1b]

Eating Hillary’s pussy? Or sucking Michelle’s cock?

Three some.

 

[BLEE]

Marriage/relationship counsellors are vermin.
I remember going to a counsellor with my first fiancee years ago.
My fiancee was a totally hot as fuck, but highly manipulative woman.
She had managed to speak to him before our session, and in no way shape or form, was it an unbiased event.
By the end of it, I was guilty of everything from the Inquisition, to the Kennedy assassinations.
Tree hugging, mung bean eating, Croc shoe wearing, DonnyDoGood fucktards.

Did she start dating the counselor, after y'all broke up? Wouldn't be the first, if she did.

 

[Dirty D]

Depeche Mode is one of my all time favorite bands.

 

[TheGerman]

View attachment 7757943

Well, its at 96% gay I see.

Therefore, still 24% less gay than @Dirty D

 

[Emerson0311]

Depeche Mode is one of my all time favorite bands.

Dervase?

 

[Bender]

Depeche Mode is one of my all time favorite bands.

Depeche Mode is one of my all time favorite bands.

Try this

 

[Dirty D]

Well, its at 96% gay I see.

Therefore, still 24% less gay than @Dirty D

You are as good at percentages as you are at pretending to be straight

 

[GrumpyOleFart]

Did she start dating the counselor, after y'all broke up? Wouldn't be the first, if she did.

No, pretty sure she just charmed him.
Allison was an air hostess, knew how to manipulate people to get her own way.
About 3 years down the track, she tried to use the same bag of tricks on the guy she was seeing.
He put her head through a glass fish tank.
Sooner or later people get tired of a beautiful woman's scheming ways.

 

[Twins82]

I was homeless broke and living in a suv with 4 adopted children in 2010.

 

[GrumpyOleFart]

Depeche Mode is one of my all time favorite bands.

I was more into The Cure.
Depeche Mode put out some good tunes though.
The 80's had a kaleidoscope of music alternatives.
I really enjoyed the raw stage music, rather than the sterile studio tinkles.
Today's gangsta crap and r&b dribbleshit don't compare.
Not to mention the Heavy Metal.
We miss you Lemmy...

 

[Cowpokey]

Climbing an antenna pole in Okinawa, I put my hand on something on the back side of the pole, thought it might have been a wasp nest..yanked my hand off, then realized I wasn't holding on with the other one. Fell 35 feet into a sugar cane field. Looked around to make sure my boss didn't see it and gaffed back up. There was a gecko at the top missing its tail.

When I met up with my boss again, he says, "tell me I'm not crazy", I said, "you're not crazy Will"...he says, "I looked over, you're on top of the pole, look over again you're gone, look back again and you're on top of the pole...you didn't have time to climb down and climb back up." I said, "you're not crazy Will...a gecko scared me."

 

[BLEE]

No, pretty sure she just charmed him.
Allison was an air hostess, knew how to manipulate people to get her own way.
About 3 years down the track, she tried to use the same bag of tricks on the guy she was seeing.
He put her head through a glass fish tank.
Sooner or later people get tired of a beautiful woman's scheming ways.

I was married to one of those. For a second, she had me thinking I was going insane... for a second.

 

[AngryKoala]

I backordered ammo on opticsplanet a looooonnnggg time ago.....still waiting.

I use to be ranked nationally in chess.

I bought a "gucci" castle nut and qd end plate.

I ate a meatless burger and liked it.

 

[GrumpyOleFart]

Meatless Burger.....blasphemy.

 

[AngryKoala]

Meatless Burger.....blasphemy.

I'm not proud of it lol. I kept seeing the "impossible" burger I think it's called and figured I would try it.