The 'heres a little known embarassing fact about me' thread

[Bourbon_and_Bullets]

I didn‘t make the toilet after some questionable mexican food and shit all over my girlfriend’s (now wife’s) bathrom floor and all over my pants.

 

[akmike47]

I didn‘t make the toilet after some questionable mexican food and shit all over my girlfriend’s (now wife’s) bathrom floor and all over my pants.

I shit outside do to food poisoning and a dog rolled in it.

Neighbor dog who lives indoors by the way not mine.

 

[Steel head]

I’ve had lawn sprinklers wake me up

 

[akmike47]

I’ve had lawn sprinklers wake me up

My old running buddy disappeared one night out drinking and we assumed he followed some nasty walrus home as usual. The next day he rolled up about 5-6pm and told us he climbed into some random truck bed and woke up 30-40 minutes away at some random house.

Same guy tried to get me to go home with a girl he mets friend, they were both a rough looking 60-70. We were in our early 20s and he was pissed when I said no.

 

[Bourbon_and_Bullets]

Blacked out after killing a bottle of pappy 15 at my buddy’s rehearsal dinner. Woke up naked covered in a towel beneath my sister‘s dining room table. She and her husband were hosting us And had a newborn baby. She didn’t talk to me for a year after that.

 

[akmike47]

Blacked out after killing a bottle of pappy 15 at my buddy’s rehearsal dinner. Woke up naked covered in a towel beneath my sister‘s dining room table. She and her husband were hosting us And had a newborn baby. She didn’t talk to me for a year after that.

Worth it

 

[The King]

There’s some 20 year old chick that’s new at the restaurant I always go to.

And I’m looking at that shit and I’m like “jesus she’s hot”, She sees me looking at her and smiles.

Then she goes over to the next table and said in a somewhat mannish voice “Im going to be serving you tonight - my name is Will”.

So I think it’s a dude. And I might still leave my number next time I go in and bring a roll of Gorilla tape for the shit in front and a sharpie to write “ROAD CLOSED - DETOUR!”.

 

[akmike47]

There’s some 20 year old chick that’s new at the restaurant I always go to.

And I’m looking at that shit and I’m like “jesus she’s hot”, She sees me looking at her and smiles.

Then she goes over to the next table and said in a somewhat mannish voice “Im going to be serving you tonight - my name is Will”.

So I think it’s a dude. And I might still leave my number next time I go in and bring a roll of Gorilla tape for the shit in front and a sharpie to write “ROAD CLOSED - DETOUR!”.

I worked at a bar and met this 8/10 Mexican chick, we talked a bit just bsing while they were waiting to go in.

Something seemed off, finally just asked..."you're a guy right?"

"No, why?" Obvious lie

"Body language is off you make masculine movements gesturing and all, can't hide that I'm not going to kick your ass, or fuck you it's cool"

S(he)? said they were born male and had all the surgeries. Had big boobs too it was weird lol

"My titties are real you want to see them?"

Uh....no thanks.

Turned down seeing his/her "pussy" too.Hands down prettiest dude I've ever seen. Why lie, if you're going to do it look pretty I guess.

Ended up being a nice person in general, do what you want just be like them and don't be an asshole about it. At least they asked before pulling their pants down to show me lol.

You would have never known unless you really paid attention, crap got me looking way more closely at women.

 

[The King]

I worked at a bar and met this 8/10 Mexican chick, we talked a bit just bsing while they were waiting to go in.

Something seemed off, finally just asked..."you're a guy right?"

"No, why?" Obvious lie

"Body language is off you make masculine movements gesturing and all, can't hide that I'm not going to kick your ass, or fuck you it's cool"

S(he)? said they were born male and had all the surgeries. Had big boobs too it was weird lol

"My titties are real you want to see them?"

Uh....no thanks.

Turned down seeing his/her "pussy" too.Hands down prettiest dude I've ever seen. Why lie, if you're going to do it look pretty I guess.

Ended up being a nice person in general, do what you want just be like them and don't be an asshole about it. At least they asked before pulling their pants down to show me lol.

You would have never known unless you really paid attention, crap got me looking way more closely at women.

This one is strange. Body language seems entirely female actually.

I’ll run some experiments and report my results.

 

[MtnCreek]

The sisterfuckin talk was hot, but shit has got weird now. I'm out

 

[akmike47]

This one is strange. Body language seems entirely female actually.

I’ll run some experiments and report my results.

Crocodile Dundee

 

[akmike47]

The sisterfuckin talk was hot, but shit has got weird now. I'm out

I would have told them to go flirt with you to be an asshole.

I didn't say I liked it, I said they passed real well. Lol

 

[diggler1833]

Looks like we might have a member or two that need to sit the next few posts out...

 

[akmike47]

Looks like we might have a member or two that need to sit the next few posts out...

View attachment 7753931

He's trying to fuck it, I wasn't. I was talking like a normal person and noticed it was a dude. Not my fault he passed for a pretty woman before I knew.

I turned down the tits and mangina, he's looking to score

 

[Bigfatcock]

Is the sister still available?

 

[GrumpyOleFart]

If you wrap the pigeon with tape, it shouldn't split when you fuck it.
It works with hitch-hikers.

 

[theLBC]

I worked at a bar and met this 8/10 Mexican chick, we talked a bit just bsing while they were waiting to go in.

Something seemed off, finally just asked..."you're a guy right?"

"No, why?" Obvious lie

"Body language is off you make masculine movements gesturing and all, can't hide that I'm not going to kick your ass, or fuck you it's cool"

S(he)? said they were born male and had all the surgeries. Had big boobs too it was weird lol

"My titties are real you want to see them?"

Uh....no thanks.

Turned down seeing his/her "pussy" too.Hands down prettiest dude I've ever seen. Why lie, if you're going to do it look pretty I guess.

Ended up being a nice person in general, do what you want just be like them and don't be an asshole about it. At least they asked before pulling their pants down to show me lol.

You would have never known unless you really paid attention, crap got me looking way more closely at women.

i knew somebody that was a guy in high school, but ran into years later at a shopping mall and he had gone through all of that surgery.
we all knew he was gay or something (only guy on the cheer squad) but folks weren't open about it as much back then (late 70s).
anyway, she tells me her new name...and tells me that it was extremely painful to transition...

so normally i am not curious, but since she brought it up, i asked her what hurt the most.
was it the bewb job?
"no"
was it cutting off your wiener?
"no, weird but no."
was it putting the hole for your vijayjay?
"nope."
so what was so painful about becoming a female?!
"when they drilled a hole in the back of my head, and sucked out half my brains."

/fcsb

 

[Clint2715]

A couple years ago I got drunk at a banquet and bought the Quigley Ford scope.

 

[Bigfatcock]

A couple years ago I got drunk at a banquet and bought the Quigley Ford scope.

Gay!

 

[Milf Dots]

Is the sister still available?

My understanding is both the trannies were sistuhs...

 

[lonegunman762x51]

When I was 19, I worked for an insanely hot 36 y/o Italian lady. We started fucking when she showed at a crew party. She had an 18y/o son, he was kinda miffed when I rolled out of mom's bedroom one Sunday morning. I also worked a few nights a week at one of the coolest bars in the county, seated 1,200 people, live bands, all sorts of awesome shit. Had great connections for concerts and all sorts of good times.

It eased his pain when I hooked him up with four tickets to Van Halen.

 

[hlee]

A couple years ago I got drunk at a banquet and bought the Quigley Ford scope.

Some things, we just really don’t need to know…

 

[TheBigCountry]

I still shoot 308. And I just had my first 6.5 ManBun built…

 

[gonzaga]

I owned a 6.5 Grendel rifle....

 

[akmike47]

I still shoot 308. And I just had my first 6.5 ManBun built…

Cease this post haste

 

[corsairpilot62]

When i was a flight instructor teaching multi. I got so pissed off at this student who couldn’t do an accelerated stall so i angrily took the controls banked it into a 50-60 degree bank and pulled back on the yoke so hard i spun the piper seminole.

 

[buckshotbarlow]

I thought i found the end of the internet, then ended up in this thread...

 

[akmike47]

I thought i found the end of the internet, then ended up in this thread...

You must be pretty sheltered if this is the worst

Hope you got a condom for your heart, cause your feelings are about to get fucked.

 

[The D]

I thought i found the end of the internet, then ended up in this thread...

You think this is the end of the internet? You should tell your mom to turn off the parental control of your internet

 

[Threadcutter308]

When I was 19, I worked for an insanely hot 36 y/o Italian lady. We started fucking when she showed at a crew party. She had an 18y/o son, he was kinda miffed when I rolled out of mom's bedroom one Sunday morning. I also worked a few nights a week at one of the coolest bars in the county, seated 1,200 people, live bands, all sorts of awesome shit. Had great connections for concerts and all sorts of good times.

It eased his pain when I hooked him up with four tickets to Van Halen.

 

[LeftyJason]

I thought i found the end of the internet, then ended up in this thread...

I guess you haven't read the Socially Unacceptable thread yet.

 

[RG0099]

Fuck. Ok. Here goes.

I was 15 when I met my 16 year old Cousin. And I realized that there was such a thing as a Cousin hot enough to dick down anyway.

She saw the look on my face too. My dad and her father and a buddy left us to go fly their airplane. First thing she said was “Wanna go see my room?”.

Yes please.

We are in her room and she comes over and french kisses me hard and tells me to hurry before they get back.

Before we can get anywhere, we hear the plane fly over the house making a whop whop whop noise. Then BOOOM. The nothing.

We run outside and the plane had crashed on the front lawn. The amount of gore coming out of the cockpit told me everyone was dead. Including my father.

I hear someone banging at the back side of the plane so I run over to the other side. It’s my dad, and he’s trying to get a door open from the outside to help the guys inside.

Turns out he was so fat the plane would have been over weight if he had gotten in too. 400lbs saved his life. So he was coming back to the house, and would have caught us in the act.

Her father and his buddy were totally dead.

The father had forgotten to put a control cable back on and couldn’t control the plane.

Turns out it was a Second Cousin, and suffice it to say she wasn’t in a mood to continue landing a piece of ass that day.

When I was a teen I ran into a hot friend who was really upset about something.... I consoled her knowing I'd probably get to bang her with my big fat cock and I was right- I was the king. Later I found out her dad died in a plane crash on their front lawn the day before.

Are these related?

 

[hlee]

Are these related?

Bless your heart. I bet you think the stories in Penthouse forums are true…

 

[RG0099]

Ha, no. just thinking how people need to check others BS before they post their own. LOL

 

[BullGear]

I used to drink Papst Blue Ribbon when it was cheap, not because it was cool.

 

[buckshotbarlow]

I guess you haven't read the Socially Unacceptable thread yet.

I live to lurk on that page! That's one of the main reasons why I have an account...

 

[jakelly]

I didn't say I liked it, I said they passed real well. Lol…
…Not my fault he passed for a pretty woman before I knew…
…I turned down the tits and mangina, he's looking to score …

This doesn’t sound gay or even bi to me.













It does sound a little curious…

 

[thejeep]

I used to drink Papst Blue Ribbon when it was cheap, not because it was cool.

After a couple (2) 1$ tall boys I decided to go wheeling through a construction zone in a metropolitan downtown . Got to the end and there was a 8’ deep 3’wide ditch from left to right that tappered in depth up to flush with ground level towards the right. Well I didn’t get right enough and got the rear of my 4Runner hung in the ditch with the front tires sitting right in the middle of the right lane of the main drag of bars downtown. I was a bit young at the time (19) so I figured it was better to roll up the windows and lock the doors and leave it. From the crowded bar across the street no less than 10 police officers paid the 4Runner a visitover the next hour. Then after they left, it happened. I had to be pulled out by a Ford. Shameful!

 

[Bourbon_and_Bullets]

After a couple (2) 1$ tall boys I decided to go wheeling through a construction zone in a metropolitan downtown . Got to the end and there was a 8’ deep 3’wide ditch from left to right that tappered in depth up to flush with ground level towards the right. Well I didn’t get right enough and got the rear of my 4Runner hung in the ditch with the front tires sitting right in the middle of the right lane of the main drag of bars downtown. I was a bit young at the time (19) so I figured it was better to roll up the windows and lock the doors and leave it. From the crowded bar across the street no less than 10 police officers paid the 4Runner a visitover the next hour. Then after they left, it happened. I had to be pulled out by a Ford. Shameful!

If you want to pull a heavy load, drive a Ford. If you want to swallow a heavy load, drive a Toyota.

 

[300zx_tt]

I cut myself with a chainsaw… felt like an idiot. Still do… it was a learning experience and I’ll certainly take more care when handling saws.

2 layers of stitches. 52 in total. I literally picked strips of my own flesh off of the chain. The scar is still concave lol

 

[johnnycat]

I had phone sex with someone I met on an internet chat room in the late 1990's. She said she was female.

 

[akmike47]

I had phone sex with someone I met on an internet chat room in the late 1990's. She said she was female.

A/s/l?

Show bobs and vajeen plz

 

[Bigfatcock]

I really miss the 1990’s internet chat rooms.

 

[akmike47]

I really miss the 1990’s internet chat rooms.

I miss those Wild West days of the net.

Still used an irc chat a few years ago lol

 

[Bigfatcock]

I miss those Wild West days of the net.

Still used an irc chat a few years ago lol

Oh yeah! Kickers and termers in disguised URLs, porno bombing forums, all fun times that I heard about people doing, but never did myself…

 

[akmike47]

Oh yeah! Kickers and renters in disguised URLs, porno bombing forums, all fun times that I heard about people doing, but never did myself…

I remember wAiting an hour or two to load a few minutes of a porn to watch in a loop 20 times lol. Better choose wisely or you’re waiting another couple hours.

I miss the dialup sound, but not the speed.

Yahoo games and AOL chat back in the day were pretty interesting. People telling you where they live like, personal info like it’s nothing lol

 

[johnnycat]

I really miss the 1990’s internet chat rooms.

Yeah, I was a member in a real good one. We set up ICQ also - y'all remember that one?

 

[akmike47]

Yeah, I was a member in a real good one. We set up ICQ also - y'all remember that one?

Looks familiar but not really. Y’all are older than me we all had yahoo chat, probably stumbled on some shit like that but been so long and I’m not the tech guy either.

I won’t lie I had a couple random people that I got to be real good friends with online back in the day, as sad as that sounds Lol. I talked to a couple for 10-12 years on and off. “Met” as kids and grew up together, we would do video group chats so it wasn’t some creeper on the other end.

 

[johnnycat]

Looks familiar but not really. Y’all are older than me we all had yahoo chat, probably stumbled on some shit like that but been so long and I’m not the tech guy either.

I won’t lie I had a couple random people that I got to be real good friends with online back in the day, as sad as that sounds Lol. I talked to a couple for 10-12 years on and off. “Met” as kids and grew up together, we would do video group chats so it wasn’t some creeper on the other end.

Video game chats used to be pretty cool. We had a small group that wold play as a platoon. I used to love the original Black Ops game. I would play it to blow off steam after a long weekend at work or something, It was pretty funny because here I was a 40 something playing video games with young 20-somethings (or even younger ) but we were "friends" even though we lived hundreds of miles apart.

 

[akmike47]

My family isn’t big into electronics so we were late to the game, but I still remember going to friends houses and how crazy it was getting on the internet and being able to hit a few keys and talk to people all over the world.

Most people were nice back then too which is weird looking back lol. Unless they had a name like P@wn3r69, and they would spam the chat for 3 hourslol