I didn‘t make the toilet after some questionable mexican food and shit all over my girlfriend’s (now wife’s) bathrom floor and all over my pants.
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I shit outside do to food poisoning and a dog rolled in it.I didn‘t make the toilet after some questionable mexican food and shit all over my girlfriend’s (now wife’s) bathrom floor and all over my pants.
My old running buddy disappeared one night out drinking and we assumed he followed some nasty walrus home as usual. The next day he rolled up about 5-6pm and told us he climbed into some random truck bed and woke up 30-40 minutes away at some random house.I’ve had lawn sprinklers wake me up
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Worth itBlacked out after killing a bottle of pappy 15 at my buddy’s rehearsal dinner. Woke up naked covered in a towel beneath my sister‘s dining room table. She and her husband were hosting us And had a newborn baby. She didn’t talk to me for a year after that.
I worked at a bar and met this 8/10 Mexican chick, we talked a bit just bsing while they were waiting to go in.There’s some 20 year old chick that’s new at the restaurant I always go to.
And I’m looking at that shit and I’m like “jesus she’s hot”, She sees me looking at her and smiles.
Then she goes over to the next table and said in a somewhat mannish voice “Im going to be serving you tonight - my name is Will”.
So I think it’s a dude. And I might still leave my number next time I go in and bring a roll of Gorilla tape for the shit in front and a sharpie to write “ROAD CLOSED - DETOUR!”.
This one is strange. Body language seems entirely female actually.I worked at a bar and met this 8/10 Mexican chick, we talked a bit just bsing while they were waiting to go in.
Something seemed off, finally just asked..."you're a guy right?"
"No, why?" Obvious lie
"Body language is off you make masculine movements gesturing and all, can't hide that I'm not going to kick your ass, or fuck you it's cool"
S(he)? said they were born male and had all the surgeries. Had big boobs too it was weird lol
"My titties are real you want to see them?"
Uh....no thanks.
Turned down seeing his/her "pussy" too.Hands down prettiest dude I've ever seen. Why lie, if you're going to do it look pretty I guess.
Ended up being a nice person in general, do what you want just be like them and don't be an asshole about it. At least they asked before pulling their pants down to show me lol.
You would have never known unless you really paid attention, crap got me looking way more closely at women.
Crocodile DundeeThis one is strange. Body language seems entirely female actually.
I’ll run some experiments and report my results.
I would have told them to go flirt with you to be an asshole.The sisterfuckin talk was hot, but shit has got weird now. I'm out
He's trying to fuck it, I wasn't. I was talking like a normal person and noticed it was a dude. Not my fault he passed for a pretty woman before I knew.Looks like we might have a member or two that need to sit the next few posts out...
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i knew somebody that was a guy in high school, but ran into years later at a shopping mall and he had gone through all of that surgery.I worked at a bar and met this 8/10 Mexican chick, we talked a bit just bsing while they were waiting to go in.
Something seemed off, finally just asked..."you're a guy right?"
"No, why?" Obvious lie
"Body language is off you make masculine movements gesturing and all, can't hide that I'm not going to kick your ass, or fuck you it's cool"
S(he)? said they were born male and had all the surgeries. Had big boobs too it was weird lol
"My titties are real you want to see them?"
Uh....no thanks.
Turned down seeing his/her "pussy" too.Hands down prettiest dude I've ever seen. Why lie, if you're going to do it look pretty I guess.
Ended up being a nice person in general, do what you want just be like them and don't be an asshole about it. At least they asked before pulling their pants down to show me lol.
You would have never known unless you really paid attention, crap got me looking way more closely at women.
Gay!A couple years ago I got drunk at a banquet and bought the Quigley Ford scope.
My understanding is both the trannies were sistuhs...Is the sister still available?
Some things, we just really don’t need to know…A couple years ago I got drunk at a banquet and bought the Quigley Ford scope.
Cease this post hasteI still shoot 308. And I just had my first 6.5 ManBun built…
You must be pretty sheltered if this is the worstI thought i found the end of the internet, then ended up in this thread...
You think this is the end of the internet? You should tell your mom to turn off the parental control of your internetI thought i found the end of the internet, then ended up in this thread...
When I was 19, I worked for an insanely hot 36 y/o Italian lady. We started fucking when she showed at a crew party. She had an 18y/o son, he was kinda miffed when I rolled out of mom's bedroom one Sunday morning. I also worked a few nights a week at one of the coolest bars in the county, seated 1,200 people, live bands, all sorts of awesome shit. Had great connections for concerts and all sorts of good times.
It eased his pain when I hooked him up with four tickets to Van Halen.
I guess you haven't read the Socially Unacceptable thread yet.I thought i found the end of the internet, then ended up in this thread...
Fuck. Ok. Here goes.
I was 15 when I met my 16 year old Cousin. And I realized that there was such a thing as a Cousin hot enough to dick down anyway.
She saw the look on my face too. My dad and her father and a buddy left us to go fly their airplane. First thing she said was “Wanna go see my room?”.
Yes please.
We are in her room and she comes over and french kisses me hard and tells me to hurry before they get back.
Before we can get anywhere, we hear the plane fly over the house making a whop whop whop noise. Then BOOOM. The nothing.
We run outside and the plane had crashed on the front lawn. The amount of gore coming out of the cockpit told me everyone was dead. Including my father.
I hear someone banging at the back side of the plane so I run over to the other side. It’s my dad, and he’s trying to get a door open from the outside to help the guys inside.
Turns out he was so fat the plane would have been over weight if he had gotten in too. 400lbs saved his life. So he was coming back to the house, and would have caught us in the act.
Her father and his buddy were totally dead.
The father had forgotten to put a control cable back on and couldn’t control the plane.
Turns out it was a Second Cousin, and suffice it to say she wasn’t in a mood to continue landing a piece of ass that day.
When I was a teen I ran into a hot friend who was really upset about something.... I consoled her knowing I'd probably get to bang her with my big fat cock and I was right- I was the king. Later I found out her dad died in a plane crash on their front lawn the day before.
Bless your heart. I bet you think the stories in Penthouse forums are true…Are these related?
I live to lurk on that page! That's one of the main reasons why I have an account...I guess you haven't read the Socially Unacceptable thread yet.
This doesn’t sound gay or even bi to me.I didn't say I liked it, I said they passed real well. Lol…
…Not my fault he passed for a pretty woman before I knew…
…I turned down the tits and mangina, he's looking to score…
After a couple (2) 1$ tall boys I decided to go wheeling through a construction zone in a metropolitan downtown . Got to the end and there was a 8’ deep 3’wide ditch from left to right that tappered in depth up to flush with ground level towards the right. Well I didn’t get right enough and got the rear of my 4Runner hung in the ditch with the front tires sitting right in the middle of the right lane of the main drag of bars downtown. I was a bit young at the time (19) so I figured it was better to roll up the windows and lock the doors and leave it. From the crowded bar across the street no less than 10 police officers paid the 4Runner a visitover the next hour. Then after they left, it happened. I had to be pulled out by a Ford. Shameful!I used to drink Papst Blue Ribbon when it was cheap, not because it was cool.
If you want to pull a heavy load, drive a Ford. If you want to swallow a heavy load, drive a Toyota.After a couple (2) 1$ tall boys I decided to go wheeling through a construction zone in a metropolitan downtown . Got to the end and there was a 8’ deep 3’wide ditch from left to right that tappered in depth up to flush with ground level towards the right. Well I didn’t get right enough and got the rear of my 4Runner hung in the ditch with the front tires sitting right in the middle of the right lane of the main drag of bars downtown. I was a bit young at the time (19) so I figured it was better to roll up the windows and lock the doors and leave it. From the crowded bar across the street no less than 10 police officers paid the 4Runner a visitover the next hour. Then after they left, it happened. I had to be pulled out by a Ford. Shameful!
A/s/l?I had phone sex with someone I met on an internet chat room in the late 1990's. She said she was female.
I miss those Wild West days of the net.I really miss the 1990’s internet chat rooms.
Oh yeah! Kickers and termers in disguised URLs, porno bombing forums, all fun times that I heard about people doing, but never did myself…I miss those Wild West days of the net.
Still used an irc chat a few years ago lol
I remember wAiting an hour or two to load a few minutes of a porn to watch in a loop 20 times lol. Better choose wisely or you’re waiting another couple hours.Oh yeah! Kickers and renters in disguised URLs, porno bombing forums, all fun times that I heard about people doing, but never did myself…
Yeah, I was a member in a real good one. We set up ICQ also - y'all remember that one?I really miss the 1990’s internet chat rooms.
Looks familiar but not really. Y’all are older than me we all had yahoo chat, probably stumbled on some shit like that but been so long and I’m not the tech guy either.Yeah, I was a member in a real good one. We set up ICQ also - y'all remember that one?
Video game chats used to be pretty cool. We had a small group that wold play as a platoon. I used to love the original Black Ops game. I would play it to blow off steam after a long weekend at work or something, It was pretty funny because here I was a 40 something playing video games with young 20-somethings (or even youngerLooks familiar but not really. Y’all are older than me we all had yahoo chat, probably stumbled on some shit like that but been so long and I’m not the tech guy either.
I won’t lie I had a couple random people that I got to be real good friends with online back in the day, as sad as that sounds Lol. I talked to a couple for 10-12 years on and off. “Met” as kids and grew up together, we would do video group chats so it wasn’t some creeper on the other end.